My love for you sank to the bottom of the ocean..

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Lost in love..

Wishlist

Here are the items!
~~1) Itouch~~
~~2) Skull Candy~~
3) Fred perry button shirt
~~4) Watch~~
5) Gucci wallet
~~6) Crumpler sling bag~~
7) Skaters Cap
8) Digital Camera
~~9) Clothes~~
~~10)White shoes~~
11)Accessories (tie, bowtie, brouch, vest etc..)

wat haf i done man.. ..

Written @ 10:52 AM

jus reached home not long.. o's had finally over! wat a hard time to struggle thru all these paper.. nth gotto do wif studies, but all emotions.. ..

'forgivin is the most vital tins tat one can eva achieve..' wenting.. stop blamin urself.. i'm reli ok.. reli not angry wif u.. u r still my frenz, my sista.. i luv u.. ya? i noe u r merely concern abt mi.. reli.. i do.. tats y i don blame u.. if i don blame u, don blame urself either kk? i had told u.. for my blif, i trust tat if ones r remorseful abt tins tat dey've done, n apologised for it, dey ought to receive the forgiveness dey deserve.. .. reli.. forgiveness is vital.. those tat r remorseful, apologise for upteen times yet the other parties doesnt wan to forgive, its reli a hurtful n sad tin.. i've experienced it.. even now.. i don mind others don 4give mi, but i noe 1 tin for sure.. i wld wan to 4give.. i wan to let ppl feel the luv of 4giveness.. .. so wenting.. u r forgiven.. no doubts.. yes, u r.. if u r no1 to mi, i don even bother to tok to u out ytd.. ya? u r sum1 to mi.. n.. .. so is she.. .. for sure i means too much to her, guess if not she wldnt b so angry le.. .. usually we'll b more hurt by our ppl tat we hold closest to us.. .. ahh! drop the sub!

haf a tok wif joanne ytd.. finally i let out all my grief.. .. almost cried wen i tok to wenting b4 hand.. but.. i kept back my tears.. reframe dem frm flowin down my cheek.. readin her blog was the biggest torment for mi.. it was terrible n horrendous.. .. no tissues will b of enuf.. neither will towel do.. joanne hintin mi.. hintin mi to let go of such a tough frenzship.. not as in give up, but.. not b too close wif her animore.. we're of diff world, havin diff xpectation for tins.. we can nv b 2gether.. .. aniwae, i've settled everitin.. bel tin, wenting tin, joanne.. merely cleared all misunderstandin.. ..

mei mei said 'frenz r onli there to support u till the day u can stand on ur own.. if tat frenz cant wait till tat day, den u can onli depend on urself.. ..' i agreed.. frm dis incident, i took a step out.. frm mi n her frenzship, frm church, frm cell.. the min i step out, my view n vision r wider.. frenz in nid r frenz indeed.. i den noe clearly hu withdrew demslves frm mi, n hu stood in.. the process was truely griefin.. those tat i xpected to stay, left.. those tat i suppose to leave, stayed.. sad to say, i bein to isolate myself.. set a boundary for all ppl.. nv to let dem step too near mi.. for i noe, history will reflash.. i don wish to see the same tin happen again.. i din realise tat i haf such phobia till wenting touch on it ytd.. ..

i'm so dumb.. so stupid.. i did all tins to dis frenzship.. xcpet to pray for it.. .. hw stupid m i..

no reasons, but out of sudden, i self mutilate again.. lookin at my name tag, scissors, temptations came abt again.. .. the more grief in mi, the more i don feel the pain but to use more strength in slashin.. tot i cld easily leave all emotions aside, but i realise tat i cldnt.. *pray hard tat winnie not readin dis entry*.. ..

aniwae.. i reli wan to put down everitin.. the past is always the past.. nth i do can to wine back the clock, turn back the time.. i don wish to dwell on tat.. but as i say.. if tat cld simply b done, i wldnt b strugglin.. ..

nw holiday le! party time! gg to dye my hair, go pub, so chiong, go piercin.. reli wana enjoy myself.. suddenly got a strong urge to smoke again.. .. arrggh.. feelin terrible.. .. .. keep tellin myself no.. but guess i cant hold it ani longer.. ..

'rain down on me.. raine down on me.. here in ur presence i am free.. pour down like rain.. come touch me again.. Lord let ur presence fall on me.. ..'

~*+wu shen de lei.. .. / tears in slience.. ..+*~