My love for you sank to the bottom of the ocean..

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Lost in love..

Wishlist

Here are the items!
~~1) Itouch~~
~~2) Skull Candy~~
3) Fred perry button shirt
~~4) Watch~~
5) Gucci wallet
~~6) Crumpler sling bag~~
7) Skaters Cap
8) Digital Camera
~~9) Clothes~~
~~10)White shoes~~
11)Accessories (tie, bowtie, brouch, vest etc..)

away

Written @ 3:01 PM

i wasnt disappeared frm bloggin.. i did blogged.. but.. aft a long entry, wen i click on 'publish post', the entire tin went off.. .. haiz.. ..

had been quite a relaxin wk for mi.. went help out in church office.. was rather fun.. even got ppl call mi 'sister esther'.. lolx.. i haf my own table there.. n wat i haf to do mainly is jus arrange the time slot of those ppl hu r gg for prelimenary rounds for the emerge.. haas.. ppl will ask funi Qs, den tok funi tins which i don even understand.. lolx.. but i did all my best to ans n entertained dem.. i sat there frm 2.30 all the way to 10pm.. cool.. long hrs sia.. but nevertheless, its reli a gd experience for mi.. .. future job? (church stuff).. wakaka~

at times, i reli do admire myself for certain quality in mi.. i'm not perfect, no1 is perfect, onli Jesus is perfect.. all along i'm workin for the beta.. n durin a conversation wif yanglin, tat particular sentence of hers inspired mi.. 'esther, if God can renew ur mind, n if u r more open 2wards new frenz n new mems, u will reli b a woman of God i tell u.. ..' .. sounds simple, yet is sumtin tough for mi to work on.. nah.. woman of God? still a long way.. if everi yr durin appreciation cell there's an award of the lousiest mem or the lowest spiritual lvl, i sure get it de.. haas.. i m lousy.. jus lousy.. ..

everitin go by spiritual lvl.. hw spiritual do we consider spiritual? hw unspiritual do we consider unspiritual? wat is the defination of bein spiritual? hw can we tell if one is spiritual?.. .. i ask yanglin all these.. but sumhw.. .. she stumbled.. she cldnt ans mi anitin.. ..

ms clara is a pain.. she had been pesterin mi eva since i disappeared frm sch.. told her i wana withdraw, she don allow.. den stirr up everitin, make tins BIG jus to make mi go back.. fine.. promised her i will go back on the 5th of the cumin mth, she don allow.. wat sayin tat if i don cum back by 20th of dis mth, den i no nid to go back ani more.. idiot.. don go back den don go back la! big deal! damn her man.. i luv my sch.. but i hate her.. count herself a CGL.. my foot!!! she doesnt deserve tat post at all.. she don understand ppls heart.. but.. i jus miss my classmates.. dey miss mi too.. tat i clearly noe.. ..

mummy changed shift le.. she nw workin mornin shift.. she used to b out for work at 11am in the mornin n returns at 11pm at nite.. if i wake up early, i can get to see her.. n at nite i usually don slp so early, so can see her again.. but nw.. the time she go out, i haven wake up.. the time she cums hm, i'm out.. wen i'm back, she slp le.. .. cant even meet 1 another.. .. n weneva i've got tins to say, i haf to wait till she's free.. not onli mi.. even if my mentor wana tok to her, she has to try callin again n again till she's free to pick up.. .. wen i call her, she'll get mi to hang up quickly as she has got another line.. but.. aint i'm her 'incomin call' as well? .. .. y jus cldnt she hear mi out.. ..

Easter drama was great.. i watched it twice.. 1st time tears jus seems to b like a runnin tap tat flows non stop.. 2nd time i tot i could control it, but no.. i cried again.. .. wat if God ask mi the way he ask simon peter? 'esther, do u luv mi.. ..?' .. wat will my reply b den.. i do.. but guess the the actions i do doesnt tally wif wat i say.. .. haiz.. .. God noes it all.. ..

1st time met sista xiao wei.. well.. impression on her wasnt beri gd.. but hu cares.. i'm not gg to live wif her, neither m i gg to interact wif her.. .. so.. i don haf to like her.. bro like her can le.. ..

yanglin lost her wallet.. yes.. again.. dono wat more i can say.. haiz.. she's jus far too careless.. gona go make police report wif her tml.. her IC is inside, ez link inside, ATM card inside.. haiz.. mainly everitin oso inside la.. accordin to wat she had rem, she dropped it on a taxi.. .. she don even noe which company does the taxi belongs to.. .. =.="

went to body shop to look for hee jus nw.. was askin if she wana join mi n the rest of the mems to fellowship at PS.. she shook her head.. i left.. in the end she msg mi tat she'll b joinin us.. i smile upon receivin her msg.. but in the end, i goto noe tat she din came bcuz of us.. she came for chengyee.. .. moreover she waited for her till she dismissed.. .. i din say much.. but deep down in my heart was filled wif doubts.. .. thou i always acted tat i'm 'fine' wif everitin, but yet its nv fine wif mi wen it cums to chengyee.. .. it matters alot to mi.. .. all along i'm hidin all the discomfort.. .. but i guess.. .. there'll nv b an endin to it.. .. ..

i jus wish to carry on.. .. let nth stop mi.. smilin on the outside yet bleedin on the inside.. .. ..