My love for you sank to the bottom of the ocean..

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Photo of the Day

Lost in love..

Wishlist

Here are the items!
~~1) Itouch~~
~~2) Skull Candy~~
3) Fred perry button shirt
~~4) Watch~~
5) Gucci wallet
~~6) Crumpler sling bag~~
7) Skaters Cap
8) Digital Camera
~~9) Clothes~~
~~10)White shoes~~
11)Accessories (tie, bowtie, brouch, vest etc..)

nitemares..

Written @ 3:17 PM

was tired, thus take a little nap.. had a nitemare den.. super duper scary.. i woke up pantin n sweatin.. .. heart was beatin at a speedy rate.. guess dis was the scariest nitemare i eva had before.. i was far too afraid.. grabbed my fone, tinkin of hu to reach.. i msg Darius of cuz.. n followed by him.. both of dem replied.. both in a carin manner.. is there ani diff? yes.. 1 is my bf.. 1 isnt.. ..

pastor fernandes aka prince was sick! haas.. his name beri long hor? er.. he gave himself de.. lolx~ yaya.. oh! i was sayin he fell sick.. yaya.. hmm.. prayed for him ytd le.. dono if he feel beta nw.. haiz.. a big guy, hu dono hw to take care of small tins.. .. =.="

2day went church office wif liang n jac.. hmm.. thou i'm beri angry wif liang, but i guess all anger shall cease by nw.. aft all, it had been a long time since wat had happened.. honey said 'forgive n forget..' .. hmm.. perhaps ba.. .. we did tok durin the journey.. ya.. he meet xin li at a ltr hr n was askin if i wana cum along.. i choose not to.. but i appreciate his effort in askin.. everitin will b alrite in His hands.. .. 'thx.. Daddy Jesus.. ..'

guess wat? i went into new creation church.. hmm.. nth special.. alot of rocks n pots.. lolx~ n the ppl there aint beri frenly..

out of sudden, i luv the song 'ji de', by zhang hui mei beri much.. dis song is written by JJ actually.. i prefer JJ sing it den zhang hui mei.. lolx~ shh~ don let zhang hui mei hear.. wakaka!~ the song is reli beri nice..

haiz.. wanted to get the fone on the 1st b4 emerge.. but dono if mummy will gif mi money on time.. den darius oso cant get the money in time.. ah boy oso.. angry ar!!! but cannot blame dem la.. haiz..

oh.. honey lendin mi her digital cam for emerge to join the foto takin competition.. thx honey!!! =]

cant stand tokin to ah beng.. kk.. for u guys info, ah beng's name call zhen hui.. but his alias is call ah beng, he's frm chc oso.. wateva his said make feel like boxin him.. he say tat wen we do sumtin n if God doesnt approve, PRAY till He agree.. 'God is a waitin God.. He will agree if u pray.. so stand firm!' RUBBISH!!! r we suppose to tell God wat to do? of cuz not!!! crap man.. if tat were the case, y obey God? get God to obey u la!!! its a waste of my time in tokin to ppl like dis.. still wana tell mi abt darius.. if darius understands simple logic, y cant u, sum1 hu is in church longer den darius does understands???

haiz.. he's always the 1 simmer mi down.. ya.. he did.. but he's too tired le.. he went orh orh liao..

liang spoiled my MP4.. tats y i don like lendin tins to others.. ppl don tends to take gd care de leh.. pek cek man.. heng i buy at cheap price.. get him to pay mi back.. if gona call him get mi a new mp4, he sure pok de.. haiz.. hate such situation whereby callin frenz to pay u money.. i bu hao yi si, tat person oso will bu hao yi si.. .. den plz la.. by all means take gd care of others' property!!! argh!!!

tml still got work.. haiz.. go slp le.. *still beri pek cek*.. ..

Written @ 4:47 PM

on the way to joan's hse, i lost my spect.. my new spect.. my $160 spect.. i called the transit link numerous times, but my spect had yet to b found.. .. *sob*

was a combine CG 2day.. wif brother adrie.. wen i 1st came in, i din noe tat he was the CGL.. i jus saw tat there's a space beside him, thus went over to sit.. mui pulled mi, speakin into my ears.. 'u kip calm k?.. shh.. the 1 beside u is the CGL.. relax..' i was like WAT THE!!! for certain torment i had in the past, i cant stand sittin for long.. i cant fold my legs as it will soon b numb, den to pain.. the least i nid is sumtin to lean on.. haas.. aft much windin, tian en changed place wif mi.. was sittin wif mui den.. the place is so small.. cant even move my legs.. was endurin in pain till end of praise n worship b4 i cld move a little..

BBQ was.. borin.. simply borin.. swing was the most fun tingy over there.. yanglin fone was wif mi, i was playin wif the swing half way den her fone ring.. i was stupid enuf to stop the swing immediately n jump out of it.. n.. as u guys noe, i fell.. roll 2 rounds, sat up, look at yanglin n hand her fone to her.. i spoiled her hp accessory den.. opps.. haiz.. sori!

2day i beri bu kai xin, beri pek cek leh.. haiz.. argh!!!~ reached hm, slept for ard 1 hr plus wake up den super duper pek cek.. oso dono y.. suddenly mood swing.. came online.. i ignored all msges.. but.. he msg mi.. i responded.. reli enjoy tokin to him.. woo~ goto noe his BIG BIG secret.. wakaka!~ shhh.. he say cannot say.. kk.. i shhhh~ he tellin mi the pokemon story nw.. aww.. so touchin.. pikachu cried.. he showed mi the 'gif'.. so sad leh.. chat chat chat.. sendin him songs nw.. while loadin, he went bong bong.. haas. he's back! so fast.. he wrote dis..

Two tear drops were floating down the river.
One teardrop said to the other, "I'm the teardrop of a girl who
loved a man and lost him. Who are you?" ..."I'm the teardrop of the
man who regrets letting a girl go..."

chim leh.. haas.. n he goes again..

Bottom-line : Nobody will sympathize with a person who constantly
lets chances pass by without making any efforts to salvage them. We
normally don't realize how important our loved and close ones are
until they leave us, and then we start regretting, which results in
misery. Lost time is NEVER gained again..

he seems sad.. .. he shared a song wif mi..

LORD WE NEED YOUR GRACE N MERCY

Lord we need your grace and mercy
We need to pray like never before
We need the power of your Holy spirit
To open heaven's door

Spirit touch your church
Stirr the hearts of men
Revive us Lord
With your passion once again
I want to care for others
Like Jesus cares for me
Let your rain fall upon me
Let your rain fall upon me

Lord we humbly come before you
We don't deserve of you what we ask
But we yearn to see your glory
Restore this drying land

so nice.. wat a contemperary song to b sang for the Lord..
emerge is cumin.. we're gg up to another lvl.. yes.. cling onto the Lord.. nv gif Him up for we're nth within Him.. 'Lord, restore my passion once again.. ..'

tml gona wake up early.. gona slp soon le.. beri tired 2day.. *yawn* nite bloggy..

Written @ 4:57 PM

hmm.. sum1 nid eye mask.. lolx~ waa.. tinkin of buyin for him.. but yanglin said tat it cost ard 30-50.. so ex.. haiz.. the onli way to show luv is to gif.. we can gif without luvin but cannot luv without givin.. lolx.. blessin to him ba.. a guy use eye mask? lolx!~ so funi..

2day svc seems chim to mi.. haas.. it had been long since i last copy a long list of notes for sermon.. 3 pages full.. hmm.. gd gd.. but durin the last part of the sermon, i suddenly got headache.. waa.. killin man.. argh~

bro is vex.. he's bothered by cg stuff.. attendance, mem's attitude wise.. hmm.. nth much i cld do to help.. the most practical way to is pray n fast.. yup.. n tats wat i'm gg to do tml.. mi n ah yang gg to fast frm 6am to 6pm.. tat means we gona miss the BBQ.. not onli BBQ.. for my fast, tat means no cigg for mi oso.. aww.. but its ok.. *challenges* haas.. hmm.. the onli tin i can do is to take responsible for my own life.. b mature.. let my potential bein stretch to the max.. overcum temptations.. yes.. tats the primarily criteria for bein a mature christian.. n u guess frm tat, i'm oreli a great help to bro in a sense.. =]

wat r frenz.. frenz tends to disappear frm our life wen we nided dem most.. dey'll onli appear wen dey nided us.. haas.. used to it le.. but there again, i shall not b numb for God created mi wif feelins.. i still luv, i still care.. but to a certain extend.. God will empower mi onli wen i tink positively.. =P

everi1 noes tat raw meat doesnt taste nice.. but there's always an aroma n fragrant frm cooked meat.. wat is the diff btwn a raw meat n a cooked meat den? the diff doesnt lies on 1 is cook n 1 doesnt.. but is the diff abt the word call 'FIRE'.. 1 had gone thru FIRE thus it taste beta.. there goes the same for our spiritual life.. FIRE is all tat we nid to make us a better person.. isnt it? therefore.. start stirrin up tat fire in U!!! God wan us to b wat He had created us to b.. meditate on tat ba..

haiz.. tinkin of wat fone to buy alone damaged my brain.. cuz.. brain cells all died le.. still cant decide wat to buy leh.. ani1 help? hu noes God will tell mi 2nite of wat fone to buy? hu noes tat God is more modern den mi? he's more techological? lolx~ indeed.. God moves thru technology too ok~ mai siao siao hor.. wakaka!~ tats y i always thx God for the advanced technology tat we haf.. muhaha~ ^o^

dono hw mummy dry shirt de.. in the end my shirt so smelly.. wear out den i realise.. but too late le.. in the end kana mock by sum1 lor, say i smelly.. ('oo') but reli got a smell leh.. argh~ i wash myself beta.. mummy got so many yrs washin experience, yet still can make till my shirt so smelly, den wash till colour came off.. =.=" don let her wash liao la.. if not all my shirt gone case.. ahh.. humph!!!~ *hands on waist* <--- (yanglin teach de..) wakaka!~

i don understand wat CERTAIN mems r tinkin.. absurb n ridiculars.. haiz.. plz.. let God fill His wisdom into u! let His grace n mery n given to u n His anointin upon u!!! nth much more to say.. *breathe in.. breathe out..* (simmered down)

Renew me- Avalon

'Why am I such a dusty window For your light to shine through?
Why am I just a tiny star In a sky already blue?
Why do I offer everything With my heart closed like a fist?
I want to love You better than this

Why do I live like I'm in chains When You have set me free?
And why do I have to break Your heart Before I fall to my knees?
I know it's time to pray for change Give all I have to give
I want to love You better than this

So renew me, Remake me Undo me, Unbreak me
Come into the empty spaces Of my broken places
And consume me, Complete me Pursue me, Redeem me
Let Your Holy Spirit living through me Renew me

I need Your power to renew me, Lord, yeah
I need to know You're moving through me, Lord

I need You as my refuge My first and last resort
Be the river always running Through my deepest thoughts
Keep me in Your arms' Cause even when I drift
I want to love You better than this

So renew me, Remake me Undo me, Unbreak me
Come into the empty spaces Of my broken places
And consume me, Complete me Pursue me, Redeem me
Let Your Holy Spirit living through me

Renew me My life bending to Your will Seeking You until I'm more and more like You

So renew me, Remake me Undo me, Unbreak me
Come into the empty spaces Of my broken places
And consume me, Complete me Pursue me, Redeem me
Let Your Holy Spirit living through me Renew me'

dis song is sooo nice.. i got it dem my classmate.. her PSP.. readin the lyrics oreli can make mi cry.. it is by avalon.. the singers of 'we are the reason'.. so touchin.. aww..

its gettin late le.. i'm startin to yawn.. goto slp le.. bloggy u oso rest early.. chat wif u tml i hope.. *smile* wan an..

Written @ 3:45 PM

bein unemotional doesnt means bein emotionless..

i'm no longer emotional.. not at all.. i'm firm.. nth shall make mi fall.. not frenship, not gossips, not rumours, not anitin.. my purpose for gg church is not on human, but for God.. yes.. get my points rite.. havin ah yang is the best gift frm heaven.. he wins over my world.. but if 1day we turn our face against 1 another, which i'm not surprise if it happens, i will still b ard in church.. servin actively.. for my purspose is not him.. nth shakens mi.. nth waver my faith..

'hide mi nw, under ur wings
cover mi, within ur mighty hands..
wen the ocean rise n thunder storm,
i will soar wif u abv the storm,
Father u r king abv the flood,
i will b still, noe u r God..'

were wif ah yang n Darius as usual.. out of sudden, Darius walk ahead of mi n ah yang.. he gif a kind of face tat shows us 'I M UNHAPI!!!'.. i din bother much abit him.. in the end, he msg mi to say tat he's upse wif certain memories.. plz.. hu don? if i'm gg to recall everi single tragic tat happens in the past, most prob i will oreli b dead hangin myself due to the suffocation.. i replied 'TRY not to b so emotional..'.. he wrote 'i'm tryin..'.. n i onli replied 'not of my will but His b done..'.. haiz.. hope he get wat i mean ba.. ..

ze called n we tok for quite awhile.. dis time round don reli enjoy much tokin to him.. nah.. no la.. due to diff perspects n diff stands.. haiz.. nth la.. don say too much.. secret tins belongs to the Lord.. ..

all my paper gone case le.. nv did i expect physic will b tat tough.. i even tink tat i will score beta for my chem den physic lor.. eng was still ok.. not so bad.. ahh.. i'm reli stress ar.. nv haf i been so stress by exams.. tml still got math paper 2.. thx God.. last paper oreli.. haiz..

i like to tok to tat certain mem beri much.. haas.. but he always seems bz leh.. nvm.. i'm bz too.. din reply him either as i was havin my exam jux nw.. msgin him seems relaxin to mi.. at times, i jus nid to b coax.. haas.. i don deny tat.. hmm.. lolx~ aww.. tok to him online half way went missin again.. ahh~ humph.. everitime like tat de leh.. got online = nv online.. 'hey! since u always not at com, shut ur com off la! conserve electricity!!!' argh~ pek cek ar..

haiz.. was rather upset wif certain tins.. but its ok.. its onli a minor tin.. i'm still rejoicin in His name! amen.. (2 cor 4:8-9)

jus nw ah yang lie on my shoulder.. waa.. so heavy.. lolx~ 2day he so HIGH.. runnin abt.. reli like bringin my 'ah boy' out like tat.. haas.. he took off his shirt in the public leh! at our lao di fang.. den tell mi beri coolin.. =.=" thx God my ah boy got figure.. if not i don even dare to open my eyes.. lolx!~

mummy bought 2 underwear for mi! 1 lacey lacey de.. yee.. 1 ma jiam like boxer but low cut.. hmm.. i like i like!!! lolx~

don haf to slp so early cuz tml paper starts in teh afternoon.. but hor.. i got no more tins to say le.. lolx.. shall cont tml.. ..

wat to say

Written @ 3:20 PM

din reli haf much to blog 2day.. nth special happen..

oh?! yeah!!! i reserve the 6280 le!!! $500 wif bluetooth n all.. waa.. so worth it.. lolx.. dear gg to pay half for mi as he promised.. ah yang payin $75.. say say say!!! yahooo!!!! i jus wana xclaim tat i'm not bein unforgivin.. but i wld like to haf my unique sense which i wan no1 to copy.. buyin such ex fone, my heart ache too.. but i clearly noe tat ppl ard mi can yet to afford such ex fone, so.. ya.. gif it s shot..

reach hm super duper early 2day.. aft exams straight away take bus hm le.. i was very tired to an xtend of dozin off the min my butt touches onto the seat.. was tinkin of takin a nap wen i reach hm.. hu noes i don feel like slpin animore.. lolx..

hao bu rong yi got the JJ concert ticket.. but yanglin say she doesnt wan it.. yanglin, din u say tat i will nv get the ans in ur mind rite? hear mi n hear mi well nw.. u wanted beri much to go, but the ticket is too ex.. yes i noe the seats r not reli beri gd, but at least the price i got is worth it.. if u r gg to say hw much u feel like gg, i will buy the ticket for u n dis is wat u din wan.. so.. u gave it up instead despite of the bu she de.. lin ar.. again i say.. everi movement u made speaks a thousand words.. i see it, i sense it, i hear it, i feel it.. take it as a gift ba.. i don tink i've given u anitin for last yr christmas.. compensate lo.. haas.. hu noes tat aft dis concert, den foreva JJ wun haf ani concert liao? lolx.. den u sure gona cry ar.. k la.. deal.. tats all..

tml i'm havin eng n physic paper.. ahh.. finally can relax liao.. eng cannot study, so no nid to study lo.. phy ar.. hmm.. i still can make it.. hope to get A.. if not B oso can.. wakaka!~

*yawn* i wana orh orh liao.. i reli reli nid a full day slp to pay back wateva slp i've lost durin dis period ar!!! i abt to get eye bag n eye black if dis conts.. help help help~ bloggy.. so envy.. u don haf to take exams.. haiz.. ok la.. i go slp le.. bloggy u slp nw oso k? wan an.. muackz..

tuition

Written @ 3:53 PM

for so long i had not been havin tuition.. i jus finished 1 session.. no.. i shld say, yanglin jus finised 1 wif mi.. she'd reli been tryin hard to teach mi at the best she cld for chem.. forkin out her own study time jus to revise wif mi.. but.. there're reli alot of tins to memorise.. i cldnt rem all at a go.. at the beri last pt whereby she's teachin mi abt the MR n AR, the mole tingy, i got totally shut off.. my mind jus went blank.. i cld hear the pek cekness in her.. or put it in another way, i cld simply sense it.. a thousand n million sorries to her.. but once again.. i thx for her effort, her time.. she made mi understood wat i've nv understand.. at least, she opened the door of chemistry for mi n enable mi to walk in.. .. thx..

so many tins to study.. wif my mere 256MB memory brain chip, its insufficent.. it had been so hard for mi.. haiz.. if i stuff too much tins in it, i'll tends to forget certain tins tat has previously been stored in it.. help mi restore all my programmes Lord.. ahhh.. i'm very tired.. coffee is nv enuf nw in kipin mi awake.. i've got no more time.. i nid time plz.. argh.. yanglin said tat if i don pass chem, she's gg to conduct tuition for mi everiwk.. mus pass.. i mus pass.. no matter wat oso mus pass.. ahh.. but i don haf the time to revise.. stress stress STRESS AHHHH!!!!

suddenly rem our fav quote.. 'wif the ideas (ah yang), the abilities (mi) n the financial (darius), we can do all tins..' lolx.. tats frm mi.. but ah yang used it more den i do.. =.="

2days paper left mi wif so little brain cells.. haiz.. thx God.. teacher got us to study merger n sep, population, health care n education.. i din study merger n sep.. i onli touched on the other 2 chapts (wif the idea of bein able to choose Q), thx God.. the 2 tat i studied came out.. i can simply choose ani of it to do.. haiz.. too bad.. i din manage to complete it.. no time.. poor dawn, raine, chris n jeanie.. all of dem ONLI studied merger n sep tinkin in a confidence manner tat for sure it will cum out.. dis time round see hw dey die liao lor..

haiz.. my bluved honey is upset.. i oso dono wat to do.. honey.. esther honey luvs u k? *hug hug* dis time round i'm not gg to use violence.. to the person hu bullied my honey: 'if u so kiang, cum la! versus bible knowledge!!! let the horse in man~ wan ACT holy rite? i'll prove to the world tat u r not worthy to name urself christian!!! still dare to say my honey.. nv die b4.. bloody hell..' honey.. esther honey here.. no worries.. *pat pat* *smile*

i goto wake up early tml to revise for my chem again.. mus recap wat yanglin had taught mi.. cannot gu fu her yi fan hao yi.. i'm reli far too tired.. i go orh orh le.. *yawn*.. bloggy, u slp early too.. wan an.. =]

yepi yapi

Written @ 3:04 PM

ahh.. jus reached hm.. so tired sia.. ahhh!!! saw stanley ong dis mornin!!! YUCK!!! *puke puke*

went out wif bro, ah yang n darius 2day.. in my last entry, i did said tat i was suppose to accompany ah yang to watch da vinci code again isnt it? haas.. due to the popularity of the show, all the time slot was FULL.. so.. no choice but to watch over the hedge instead.. wat a cute anime.. haas.. had a gd luff.. wakaka~ so.. as promised, i went to watch da vinci code wif him 2day.. we've goton bro along wif us.. haas.. he said tat it was a waste of money, time n energy to watch tat show.. haas.. wat a stupid show..

i was rather hapi leh.. cuz.. bro spent his day wif us? hmm.. he's reli a bz person.. hardly haf the time to tok to us.. so.. i cherish everi min n sec he spent wif us.. =) aww.. change fone wif bro.. er.. he's happily usin my fone nw.. but i'm strugglin wif his.. haiz.. haas.. its ok la.. he's payin for my fone.. so.. let him use lor.. niwae, i'm buyin a new fone soon.. so.. ya.. ren abit longer can le.. lolx~ aft all.. my ah boy n darius payin most of it! haas.. i'm onli left wif a little to pay.. PTL!!!

hmm.. finally got a chance to tok to joanne ytd.. haiz.. we don seems to b tat close animore.. not tat i din put in effort in the frenship.. but she always seems bz, if not she don pick up my call.. weneva she msg mi, nth more xcept to borrow money.. i'm more den willin to lend her if i haf, but usually i don.. n wen i tell her tat i don haf the amt she nid, she stop replyin.. wat more can i do.. wat more can i say.. .. jas too.. used to go out wif her.. nw? she's rushin project all day.. she don even reply wen i tok to her online.. if not she'll jus reply wif a 'busy'.. well.. n tat goes for yanglin of cuz.. she seems more bz den ani1 does.. everi1 went poly, haf their own life le.. n there, tin seems to b diff.. .. hu will reli recall abt the precious memories tat we've spent wif 1 another? nah.. merely ani1.. 'rem the days..' tats always my theme went i recallin back certain tins.. m i too emotional? or r dey too hack care? i do understand tat everi1 is gettin bzier.. so m i.. well.. take tat the case ba.. i don bother to say much either.. *upset*

i'm hapi wif my ah boy.. he always seems to make mi hapi.. cheer mi up.. as times, he did lecture mi too.. he does tok sense as well.. havin him as my pal is the most wonderful tin..

there is dis 'sum1' tat can cheer mi up too.. i did cheer him up as well.. lolx.. msgin tat 'sum1' will always make mi smile at my fone.. guess tat 'sum1' is the onli person tat tink tat my singin is nice.. my dancin is awesome.. at least, tat 'sum1' does appreciate mi.. he taught mi hw to smile? haas.. shld b like dis! ---> =/ haha.. wif the mouth slanted.. tats his signature smile.. aft all, it reli does look like him.. lolx~

tml i'm havin math n ss paper.. i'm reli reli reli beri stress.. went study wif ah boy jus nw.. he taught mi math.. he tried his best to teach but i'm jus too stupid to absorb.. .. i'm stupid.. .. aft bloggin i still goto go study ss.. i cant go by understandin.. i mus go by memorisin.. cant help but to open the bks to skim thru everitin.. .. 'Lord, let my mind b sharp n allow my brain to work.. let everi single tins i read b absorbed into my mind.. i pray wif all my heart tat wateva i've studied, it'll cum out for the exams.. let the Holy Spirit b wif mi wen i'm doin my paper.. let mi able to recall all tat i've studied.. haf mi peace Lord.. Amen..' ahh.. Lord.. take away all my stress.. arrghh.. ..

wen frenz r no longer frenz, dey turn into enermies.. luv turns into hatred.. smile into frown.. havin dem in ur sight is the most utterly uncondonable tins in world.. yes.. tats the case.. at least to mi.. ..

i luv darius.. yes i do.. ah yang said to mi.. 'he's reli nice to u.. there's nth more u can ask for..' .. i agree.. i'm hapi wif him.. hw long can we walk? i haf no idea.. but lets jus hope tat we will walk as far as poss..

i go study le.. goto log off.. bye bloggy.. wan an..

tired n tired..

Written @ 6:43 AM

<---- i simply luv dis pic!!!

dis entire wk had reli been killin for mi.. i'm reli far too tired to do anitin.. times n again i make a point to blog everiday, but physically, it wldnt allow mi to do so.. i work n work.. tryin to earn as much money as poss.. nth seems to cum into my mind except work.. frm 2 days a wk, to 3 days.. den 4 days.. den 6 days.. (sun nv open).. so is equalivitant tat i work thruout the whole long wk.. i'm reli beri tired..

din go for CG 2day.. woke up at ard 2.30?.. i had a bad nite.. i got all sorts of nitemares.. i dreamt of mems.. i dreamt of kel.. i was out wif my mum wen i saw him, wif a skateboard.. (in the dream).. i cant stand his happi looks.. i stalked him n goto noe he met up wif sum frenz in a pub.. i cldnt hold my anger animore but to walk into the pub, usin the chair n slam at his face.. gif him punches on his tat sucky face.. he bleed terribly yet i still carry on.. i bash him as thou there's no body's buzz.. .. i jus cldnt stop.. till yanglin, zhiyang, n.. (er.. i cldnt rem) the rest of the mems came, tryin their best to pull mi away.. hands r gone but my legs r still on him.. y is he still in my mind.. y cldnt i shake him off!!! eerk mi man.. ahhh!!!

i dreamt tat jac cldnt stand bein grounded at hm, n she wanted to commit suicide.. went to tell jas, but she seems not to blif in wat i say.. aft all, i told her in my dream.. lolx~

i dreamt tat i've bought a purple transparent wallet..

i dreamt tat yanglin spoke to mi.. its sumtin serious.. but sadly.. i reli cldnt rem anitin.. ..

i wanted N6280.. if i can haf enuf money for tat, i will proceed on wif a laptop.. i wanted a laptop so much, but mummy don allow mi to buy.. she say if i buy it, she'll dock my allowance.. .. fine.. let her dock lo.. i use my salary to buy..

watched the da vinci code ytd.. yuck~ i waited so long for tat show, but hu noes.. its NOT nice at all.. all of my frenz n i were like *question marks*.. =.=" lolx~ hmm.. in da vinci code, it says tat 'a murderer is a hero'.. oh? hmm.. interestin.. n in the show, its shows a verse JOB 38:11.. haven go n look thru my bible.. ltr will do so.. haas.. dis show reli wavers christians' faith.. so.. tink twice b4 watchin..

saw mei zhen the other day.. waaa.. her tat 'eyes' tattoo keep on tiao mi sia.. haas.. she's till so short.. so cubby, so cute.. known her so many yrs, she hasnt been changin much la.. except more stylish onli.. lolx~ where's shu min? aww.. so long nv see her.. haas.. find 1 day all go out 2gether.. wakaka~

i've realised sumtin recently.. frenz r sumtin tat r part n partial of ur life.. u can haf dem, u can do without dem.. no frenz will stick wif u for ages.. no frenz will sacrifise demself for u.. such view had been so clear to mi.. i'm too numb for all these..

'closin my eyes.. nw Lord, everitin is urs..'

gona prepare soon.. meetin ah yang ltr for da vinci code.. aww.. not again.. but he wana watch leh.. haas.. so accompany him watch 1 more time lo.. my dis ah boy.. haiz.. ytd no money eat.. den go without food for the entire day.. msg mi, ask mi where m i.. haiz.. i'm at BISHAN!!! den aft my movie i mus rush staight to tamp, if not he sure die of hunger de.. take MRT too slow.. so i took bus 88 to pasir ris, den change MRT to tamp.. like tat faster.. mi n ah boy haf a 'lao di fang'.. lolx~ a place where we hang out almost everiday.. nth to do, so jus slack there.. =P oh no.. ah yang's classmate look at his fone, everi1 tot i'm his gf.. hey! i'm the MaMa ok!!! lolx~ cuz he haf the same wall paper as mi.. the foto tat i display abv.. haas.. tat was taken usin his fone in church.. nice lightin huh? haha.. waa.. ah boy tat sipderman shirt is gone!!! as in.. er.. his frenz drink dono wat flav bubble tea, den split on him.. 1 BIG BIG patch pink colour tingy.. he was there screamin in silent.. .. lolx~

svc change to tml.. werid.. i miss mui!!! aww.. k la.. hope to see her tml.. ya.. usually i can.. see her on stage lo.. she servin ma.. haha.. small small little mui on stage.. keekee.. ahh.. i wan to serve too!!! chorus board, here i cum!!! aww.. i've sent 2 applicantion forms leh.. but hw cum no respond.. .. *sad* nvm.. gd tins worth waitin.. ka cheek!!!

loggin off le.. hmm.. will type again.. SOON SOON.. haas.. hope so la.. wakaka.. bye bye~!

days wif yang

Written @ 4:10 PM

was out wif ah yang almost everiday.. he'd reli grown up.. i bein to like him more n more.. he jus briten up my day.. he gave mi a tissue rose 2day! n say 'hapi mother's day!'.. lolx..~ but i tot it was over? haas.. aft all, tat small little tissue rose wasnt made by him.. yet, i'm touched.. *smile*

i wana get a new fone le.. N6280.. cost ard 600 over? Darius gettin it for mi.. but.. nah.. din wan it.. i rather work n save myself..

went playin bball wif ah yang jus nw.. there'a a little brat monster.. tat little kid reli reli beri naughty leh.. beat ah yang, den pull his shirt.. but ah yang was still so paitient lo.. still ask him if he had eaten, whether he wan a drink, den play wif him.. non of us can tar han tat boy except him.. gosh.. he jus fits ALL criteria in joinin children church ministry.. but hu noes.. in the end tat boy came to mi.. er.. well.. he's still as naughty la.. but i find him beri cute.. he onli likes mi n ah yang.. den wen i gone missin, he go tell ah yang tat he wana look for mi.. lolx.. he's beri teachable.. i was tellin him not to pull other's shirt, not to beat ppl, not to do dis n tat.. at 1st he din pay attention to wat i'm tokin.. den in the end i gif him those angry face.. he stops immediately.. tat little boy always went ard the estate alone.. he stay wif his mom onli.. his mom workin till late nite, so he'll b all alone.. haiz.. so poor tin.. so small summore.. i keep askin if he's hungry, whether he wan eat anitin.. but he din wan leh.. kids can b cute too.. 2day i saw a diff side of ah yang, n a diff side of myself too.. ..

exams r cumin.. i ain prepared.. i left all my notes in RT.. forgotten to brin it hm for 2 days le.. die la.. awww...

out of sudden i ask myself.. 'wat do i expect in life..' (material wise) .. hmm.. no ans seems to come abt.. nth more i can ask for? i can haf everitin i wan, but i find there's no such nid.. for all tins tat i nid, i oreli haf it.. for the tins tat i don haf it, is bcuz i don nid it.. haas.. but guess wif darius ard, i can get everitin i wan without even me openin my mouth.. haiz.. dis is not gd.. .. i don reli nid anitin nw.. but i WANT alot of tins.. aww..
-digital cam
-bags
-shoes
-N6280
-clothes
-kickers
-cap
-WALLET
ahhh.. wallet!!! i nid it most!!! no money to buy 1 neh.. sad.. ..

say say say!!! yaaaahooooo!!! Hardo Gaydo!!! wakaka!~ tink everi1 noes wat tat means.. lolx~

its late le.. n i'm workin tml again.. yes.. again.. so tired.. but wat to do? money cum 1st.. i luv workin in RT.. i reli do.. thou there ought to b sum unhapiness here n there, but i'm still enjoyin my days there.. oh no.. almost forgot tat i'm havin trainin on sat.. haiz.. sianz leh..everitime call mi go trainin.. even KFC oso don haf so many trainin ar..

k la.. goto go slp.. wan an bloggy.. ^^ .. *smoouch*

Written @ 11:49 PM

it had been reli bad for mi.. but recently i've learn sumtin.. DO NOT DWELL IN HURTS N UNHAPPINESS!!! yeah man..

had been workin for dis few days.. nid not nid to go sch.. argh.. so tired.. but hees.. wen i get my salary, its gona b ALOT!!!

was out wif ah boy ytd n 2day.. tml too.. i guess for the rest of the wk oso? haas.. so hapi gg out wif him.. he jus made my day..

woo.. goto noe tat yuan lai the person in charge of my most fav ministry was MR KENNY LOW!!! wakaka!!! tats my principal!!! so does tat means tat i got a higher chance in enterin tat ministry? wooohoooo!!!!~

ytd on my way to TP to meet ah boy, i met sum1 damn ji toot* xia lan man.. i almost call police sia.. reli cannot ji toot* tar han.. at times, i reli tink tat GODLY tins cldnt apply for certain situation.. violence solve everitin.. we punch b4 WE say anitin.. we kan, b4 DEY say anitin.. in such, den we'll nv eva get bully.. not tat i wanted, but reli la.. such ppl deserve sum 'colour'..

ytd nite i msg samuel (yu zhi).. hmm.. tot of askin if he's alrite.. his nick tells mi tat he aint feelin beri gd? but he replied in a beri positive manner leh.. ya.. so i guess he's fine ba.. i msg hui yi too.. dono y la.. jus haf a beri strong feelin tat she's down.. haas.. she's reli down.. but she gave it all to God.. =) .. i noe i'm anti social.. tats my weakest pt.. haiz.. but i blif God wanted mi to improve in tat area most.. i tried.. reli tired.. but.. tats the furthest i can go le.. .. nth more.. ..

out of sudden, i tot of bel.. thou i dislike her alot, but i missed those days we had 2gether.. .. emerge is cumin.. everi1 was rather excited abt it.. not mi.. jus not mi.. its was durin last yr emerge tat we broke the barrier.. it was durin last yr emerge tat we get to noe 1 another beta.. it was durin last yr emerge where we bcame close.. hw we chiong for seats 2gether, hw we contribute our sweat n blood, hw we queue for such long hrs.. so much so much memories.. i cant hide it but i missed her badly.. yet i noe.. she'll nv b back.. .. if u lose a frenz tat went thru all ups n downs wif u, u lose all ur passion in doin the tins tat u guys had done b4 2gether.. ..

those tat understand mi tried not to.. but those tat doesnt understand tried their best to.. ..

'wen i'm weak, u r strong..
u're my feet, wen i cant move on..
u r the lite, in the dark..
u're the whisper, inside my heart..'

wat more can i say..

Written @ 7:17 PM

the worse tins on earth had happened.. the 1 n onli confidant i haf, to my amazed.. i cld confide to her no more.. nth hurtin nth sad.. cuz.. all along.. she shldnt b the 1.. but God does..

i'm not mature.. nv haf i admit tat.. who cld gif a confidence shout tat dey r mature? hardly ani1.. i don travel in accelaratin speed towards maturity.. i walk there.. slowly, yet surely.. everi single of us haf our own methods in headin there, we cant apply our tots on others, neither isit poss for dem to apply theirs on us..

another word tat impacted mi.. 'UNDERSTANDING'.. simple, yet profound.. easy, yet sophisticated.. for everi relation, there ought to b the existin of dis word.. i blif everi1 noes tat.. but hw many of us can reli apply tat..? bein understandin aint easy at all.. it aint simple either.. it requires more den wat we tot.. i guess i've failed in dis session.. not jus a boderline failin.. but a flung..

i do admit tat i acted hurshly for certain tins.. yes.. i do.. but lets tink back.. it takes both hands to clap.. i can b angry over a small little minor tin.. but if the other party did nth wrong, will there a chance for mi to b angry? nah.. i don tink so.. simple respect nids to b there.. but too bad.. thou it suppose to b, but it doesnt..

thousands n millions words r to b spout.. yet words r nv enuf in replacin tots n feelins.. its nv of ani use to share to ani1.. all tat u guys noe is judgin.. is pin pointin.. haas.. got so sick of it oreli.. God sees.. n He noes..

all along i tot tat my spiritual life is gg down the slop.. n tat i nw proclaim, its not.. cuz.. its oreli totally shut off n out.. it had been 3 mths.. for the past 3 mths of mi strugglin hard in substainin.. draggin my feet to church thou so much so i don feel like gg.. pullin myself out of my bed for CG despite of mi bein reluctant.. i always blif tat as long as we try, differences cld b make.. n tat kips mi gg for the 3 mths.. but nw, tins r gettin more n more out of hands.. i haf no idea hw to handle..

i dono hw to handle tins.. not at all.. at times, in a situation whereby i nid to handle tins, it seems a nitemare to mi.. yet wen i handle wrongly, ppl gave their remarks.. or even wen i choose not to handle, ppl gave their remarks too.. its hurtin.. y cant dey TRY to even understand..

i've said in the previous entry.. 'wen tins r beyond my control, i let it all go..'.. i'm doin it nw..

hw many of u haf watch xiao hai bu ben 2? an apple tat had been rotten.. will we choose to eat the gd side of it n cut off the rotten part? or shld we throw away the entire apple..? can u guys don focus on my bad but look at wat i've been improvin all dis while?.. u guys chose to throw mi (dis apple) away.. jus bcuz i've rotted.. .. thx man.. ..

i luv bloggin.. my bloggy wldnt ask for explaination.. he wldnt scold mi, wldnt blame mi, wldnt b pissed off either.. he listens to everitin tat i wana say.. all i nid is sum1 to listen to mi.. tat person nid not nid to say anitin.. n i wld appreciate most if tat person choose to kip quiet.. jus like my bloggy does.. wat a simple condition.. yet no1 can do it.. soo funi..

i'm gg for a long break.. a real long one..

i'm lettin go all tins nw.. all tins.. non shall b stuck inside my heart.. God.. heal mi.. all the inner hurts..

pised

Written @ 3:44 PM

i did mentioned tat i pon lessons on tue rite..? haiz.. on the followin day wen we return to sch, ms Clara was super duper unhapi.. she din say anitin but simply ask for the reason.. thou she seems 'cool', yet i noe she was burnin down wif anger inside her.. i was the 1st she ask.. raine, dawn, dora, all were lookin at mi, waitin for my reply towards ms Clara..
she asked 'y din u cum to sch ytd?'
me: 'i did'
she: 'so y did u skip my lesson?'
me: 'i din onli skip urs, i skip all lessons aft lunch break..'
she: 'where did u go durin lunch break?'
me: 'eat la..'
she: 'where? sumwhere near the sch?'
me: 'ya..'
she: 'den wat makes u not feel like cumin back?'
me: '.. .. ..'
i kept quiet den.. .. i din wan to say anitin.. so she asked raine.. followed by dawn, den dora.. all of dem lied.. i was super pissed of.. all say dey sick, on medicaiton, bla bla bla.. was rather angry wif dawn.. count herself a Christian man.. i din wan to tok to her, den sumhw she msg mi 'hey relax la.. i noe y u r angry, no nid to b so pissed off rite..' .. piang.. read liao i more tu lan.. i was like 'u noe??? understandin n doin is 2 diff tins! cut it out by tellin mi u understand! try imagine tat ms Clara is ur CGL.. will u still cont wif ur lie???'.. she still can lie till so fulence sia.. great disappoint.. i kept quiet thruout.. dey din see mi angry b4 ma.. so was like dey cannot take it tat i'm so quiet.. all of dem was like 'esther.. sori la.. don angry k? i noe we did wrongly..' i threw my stuff, slammed the door n went wash rm to cool myself down.. in the end, Dawn wen to confess to ms Clara tat we actually went out rather den her bein sick n went hm.. but sumhw, i guess ms Clara oreli knew it la.. she jus gif a smile n said nth.. reli reli beri tu lan leh.. haiz.. thx God dey noe tat dey did wrongly.. REPENT!!! arrggghhh~

den for chem.. ms sally oso naggin us.. she scold scold scold den turned n look at mi.. 'esther, r u givin up on ur chem?'.. (everi1 stare at mi).. 'NO COMMENTS.' .. tats my reply.. n dawn was like 'wooo.. cool..' lolx~

stupid dawn.. msg mi early in the mornin jus bcuz she wana borrow a t shirt frm mi.. she wan BIG n NICe de.. is like.. i'm runnin late for sch le lor! den i search ard for her, finally got 1, i take a foto of tat shirt n mms her to see if she wans it.. she was ok wif it, so i iron the shirt for her.. aft everitin was done, i was super duper late.. i suppose to b at the bus stop at 8.20 usually to wait for bus.. but 2day i went out at 8.50? lesson startin at 9.30 n i was like 'gosh.. die le.. sure late for sch de..' i msg darius n told him tat i'm still on bus, n tat i'll b late for sch.. he was like 'tink on the positive side.. the power of confession.. can de.. sure will reach on time de..' i mean.. hw cld tat b? usually it will takes ard 40-45 mins b4 i'll reach sch.. but miraculously, i reli reached sch at 9.28.. haas! n guess wat? ms Clara was late!!! wakaka!!! PTL!!! i was there sittin down n shakin legs.. kees~

i was out wif raine aft sch.. of cuz, darius was wif mi oso.. tat goes without sayin.. we had our dinner at mos burger, den shifted to a coffee hse for a cup of drink n sat there chattin.. gosh.. i got a shock out of my life.. raine.. er.. she wasnt a virgin animore? she seems so guai!!! n its not onli 1 time tat she had done wif her bf.. oh! erm.. sori.. is nw ex, no longer bf.. dey do it at staircase, den hotel, den.. er.. cant rem.. but is like.. waa piang.. my mouth was like open wide lor.. dora oso.. wen clubbin, den LC wif strangers.. oh no.. y ppl ard mi so suai bian de? .. haiz.. .. i bein to haf a clearer view as time goes by.. hw's their character n so on n so forth.. gosh.. raine jus msg mi in msn, ask mi if i wan the paris hilton pron.. =.=" plz..~ wat so nice abt porn? argh~ don wan don wan don wan!!!

saw mui jus nw.. haas.. go where oso see her de la.. lolx~ saw bro too.. he's wif sista xiao wei.. haas.. was tellin sista xiao wei tat darius was his nu xu? haha~

so glad to haf darius.. i was reli beri bliss.. siew ting was like askin mi 'esther, ni de bf dui ni hao ma?'.. b4 i cld ans anitin, dora n raine went 'HAO!!!~' lolx.. ya.. i do admit he's reli nice to mi.. indeed i haf nth much to complain abt.. =)

actually haf more tins to write.. but i'm reli tired.. n.. i don feel too well emotionally.. so.. i shall end it off here..

tired

Written @ 3:10 PM

let mi quickly finish up my blog.. yawn.. i'm so tired..

tot will b guai kiah for once, gg for all lessons 2day.. but hu noes.. dora fought wif kai wen.. den she din wan to return back to sch.. so mi, raine n dawn accompany her out lo.. haas.. go play pool.. nah.. non of dem was my match.. oh? sori.. er hum.. i mus b more humble.. haas.. but true la.. all lose to mi.. aft which we went to take neo print.. wakaka.. cute cute~

oh.. saw mui mui at bugis.. haas.. twice? lolx~.. she's wif her poly frenz.. dono y all of dem like to stare at mi.. too pretty? wakaka!!! (power of confession..)

collected my spect.. haas.. i look cool.. wen i'm in CJ uni, haas.. i look so reddish n blackish!
-spect (ren n black),
-my watch (red),
-CJ uni (red n black),
-shoes (red n black).
lolx.. ..

my nose bleed everiday.. sumbody save mi!!! haiz.. blood.. red too? ahh.. not again..

rat?

Written @ 4:21 PM

recently i kip on fallin sick.. runnin nose jus wldnt seems to get away frm mi.. i've sneeze till nose bleed.. haiz.. currently my nose still blk.. cant reli breathe man.. ..

jus came back frm work.. sum1 special came to visit carl's 2day.. n everi1 was so HIGH.. HIGH in a way tat all of dem scream at the top of their voices.. hiong rite.. hu is tat sum1? its a.. .. *drum row..* RAT!!! haas.. jacky, jeffrey n jia hao, each take a pail n big metal bowl runnin aft tat poor little small rat.. the scene was so funi.. the rat run run run, den run out to the counter area n pass li xuan's leg.. waa.. she SCREAM till cannot make it sia.. den hui shan most practical de.. she din scream at all.. but her action beri fast, climb all the way up abv the small chiller tat we haf.. lolx.. onli i din run, din scream.. gals like hamsters isnt it? den y r dey scare of rats den?? *don understand* contridictin.. in the end, jeffrey got it! waa.. den wen dey lift the metal pail up abit, the rat's tail came out.. waa.. jacky beri violent leh.. he gif a stomp to it! waa.. reli beri hard leh.. aft which dey throw the rat into a box, den in the end dey use the rat sticky pad to stick the rat on it in order not to let it run away.. actually the rat beri cute leh.. wen dey open the box, the rat stare pathetically at mi.. aww.. .. so sad.. .. but no choice.. its a pest.. haf to get rid of it..

had passed 12am.. its our anniversary.. but jus a while b4, we almost broke up.. .. i dono wat to say.. ya.. jus.. like tat lo..

abt to meet liang for a drink.. but.. i suddenly rem wat bro said.. to b MORE mature, MORE godly, MORE spiritual.. i cant touch liquor animore.. cannot.. holdin the OM card doesnt sybolises anitin.. but inorder to haf it, i mus break thru in another lvl of my spiritual life.. yes.. i've signed up for ministry.. hope to serve soon.. i'm all ready..

sob

Written @ 1:14 AM

wen tins r beyond control, i let it all go.. thou the pain n hurts r there, yet tats the onli way.. .. it marks a special day 2day for mi.. does it count? i dono.. .. i take it so.. .. i seems hapi isnt it? but deep down in my heart, i'm bleedin badly.. .. the feelin is jus as thou it was stabbed by a shrap knife, piercin rite thru my heart.. ..

still rem yanglin gave mi a bu dao wong sum times back.. .. she wans mi to b like the bu dao wong, nv fall.. but does ani body noes tat there will b a day whereby bu dao wong can fall too.. ..? aft all it doesnt stands always.. ..

i luv mui.. alot alot alot.. on the surface, we're crappy, rah rah wif 1 another.. but without fail, she always spare mi tat few of her precious msg wen i nided most.. all i nid is jus tat few msg at times.. tats all.. .. yet not everi1 can spare mi.. .. mui listens to mi.. yes.. she does.. ze too.. i felt fortunate to haf ze as my helper.. he's jus so understandin.. ..

i'm so tired.. so worn out.. all i wan is to hide under my blanket nest n haf a BIG cry, let everitin out.. .. .. *sobbin*

but aft dis cry, i gona stand strong again.. yes.. my OM card is cumin le.. i'm enterin into a ministry.. finally i find myself useful.. i'm contributin to God n to church.. yes.. jia you Esther.. u can de..

hurt

Written @ 3:05 AM

aft a long wait, ze was finally back frm surabaya.. he was jus away for tat few days.. or.. near to a wk? but dis short period seems decades to mi..

aft wat had happened, i was so down so down.. no words can describ hw hurt n upset i m.. i was helpless, in not noein wat react, all i can do is.. .. cry.. .. tears was flowin like a runnin tap den.. i gave ze a msg, askin if he's free.. guess ze caught it.. he replied 'yes, i'm free.. i call u nw?' n wen the called, the 1st tin he said was 'helo? esther? y neh? bu kai xin ar.. ..' .. i simply enjoyed tokin to him.. ze britens mi up.. aft which yanglin called.. ya.. (b4 tat i rejected her call).. i den tok to her for over an hr or 2.. here i m so sad, there she was, doin MASK.. =.=" MASK aft MASK.. face mask n eye mask.. bla bla bla..

haas.. haiz.. dis little gal.. nth but jus to make mi angry wen i'm hapi, n cheered mi up wen i'm sad.. she brush her teeth so YONG LI leh!!! like wif all her strength like tat! at the other end of the line i can hear the scrubbin sound lor! yee..~ *pain* haas.. haiz.. life without her is equivilant to colourless.. i don wish to b colour blind.. so.. guess i've havin her as my best buddy for ALL my life..

till dis very moment, i'm still unhapi.. i'm still upset over numerous tins.. not tryin to ACT holy, but.. i'm powerless.. i'm weak.. let God take charge of everitin ba.. he sees.. he noes wat happened.. he feels my hurt.. .. guess wen all tins happened, God is more sad den wat i m nw.. .. thou i'm actin harshly at times, but nevertheless.. dis time round i will let God handle everitin.. .. for not my will but His b done.. .. *weep*

hapi dae ---> sad day

Written @ 4:44 AM

lolx.. the heats had jus finished.. kun beri pro leh! for all his 3 events, he got 2nd in position.. wow..~ everi1 promised to go support kun, in the end onli got mi n yuan.. haiz.. yanglin came ltr.. tat chua kim liang, gona skin him alive man.. ahhh!!!~ din even pick up my call.. the more forget abt seein him..

aft the heats, we went to yuan 's hse.. haas.. i'm nw at yuan's hse! wakaka..~ both yanglin n yuan dey r usin laptop, i'm usin yuan's com.. kees.. jus finish foto takin session usin yanglin's web cam.. lolx.. so fun.. take n take n take..pose n pose n pose.. wahaha~

aft dis mi n yanglin r leavin for yishun.. she wana go esprit.. haas.. den for yuan, he's meetin my ah boi.. dey gg town? lolx~

ytd went to bugis, i saw the hello kitty limitd edition digital cam.. waa.. so nice.. small small, handy n cute.. work as video cam, digital cam n web cam.. gd hor? but $300 leh.. so ex.. den darius was like.. he buy for mi? nah.. he ask mi wat i wan for our up cumin anniversary, i say i reli nid to make another pair of spect, as mind broke long ago.. n he added tat he'll pay for everitin.. nah.. din wan him to pay leh.. haas.. but seriously.. i wan spects!!! i'm gg blind!~ haas.. not tat serious actually.. onli 200 over degree.. lolx..~

was tokin to yanglin abt frenship n abt money tingy.. God gaves us frenz for a reason.. thx to all my honeys n liang.. i still rem wat bro preached ytd durin CG.. ya.. he's rite.. we'll nv noe simple tins we do will create a tremendous change in another person's life.. by blessin dem wif food n money, we're lettin the brite lite piercin thru their darkened sky.. yeah.. i always blif in financial blessin.. yup.. if i'm able to, very much i will help dem.. by helpin dem, i'm storin treasures n rewards in heaven too.. =)

for ytd CG, it was my 2nd time doin song sheet actuallty.. 1st time was horrible (prayer meetin).. haiz.. don tok abt it le.. nw i 've mastered hw to do it.. ya.. haas.. nxt time can help CG do le! emm.. but.. haas.. no use leh.. my printer no ink.. noe hw to do oso no use.. .. haiz..

oh no.. goto brush up on my ang mo liao.. yanglin said tat my tense got BIG prom.. aww... how how how.. no wonder i will fail my ang mo.. ..

mi n darius.. hmm.. gettin well? yes, but no.. we're sumhw on diff perspect over certain issue.. i noe all along he's tryin to b understand, but sumhw i noe, dis issue can nv b solve.. i don wan him to compromise times n again.. no matter hw optimistic he were to b, hw positive he sounds, i noe he was rather sad abt it.. all i cld say is sori.. .. reli beri sori abt it.. haiz.. he's jus so nice.. i always rem wat kun told mi tat day.. 'God do bless a certain relation, but wen the relation doesnt work out well, its not God's fault, but it all lies on man.. the act we haf n the way we communicate..' its jus so true.. .. i was tellin darius ytd 'i noe we wun, but if 1 day we've got to break over certain incident, i hope u'll detain urself in church.. aft all u receive salvation not bcuz of mi, but God.. always rem His first luv.. ..' thou he replied in a manner tat he seems to understand wat i'm tokin, but sumhw i don tink he does.. .. haiz.. .. 'God, not my will but urs b done.. guide mi.. ..'

mid yr is cumin.. haiz.. guess i'm gg to fail everitin.. haiz.. i beta shut up.. (power of confession) up cumin is my summer camp.. sianz.. don even feel like gg.. .. ahh hhh!~ bu kai xin ar!!! !!!