Written @ 10:15 AM
waaa.. y m i always wakin up so late nw a days.. haas.. guess i'm gettin lazier n lazier.. nw cannot type too fast, my fingers tip beri pain.. practice too much of guitar le.. lolx~ but its all worth it.. ka cheek!
i'm so proud of myself.. a non christian frenz of mine said tat he noe 2 christians song.. one is 'all i need is you', the other one is 'evermore'.. praise the Lord, i can easily play both songs for him.. lolx~ even kun is proud of mi! waa!!! i changed my own string n tuned my own guitar!!! kees.. improvement ok~
woo.. christmas we will b havin our cell chalet.. it was ard 3 yrs back since we had the last chalet.. haas.. wonder hw isit gg to b like..got alot of tins to work on liao.. well.. for mi, food again.. games too.. goto discuss wif liang abt it.. haas.. short of man power sia.. hw hw hw.. argh~
3 more wks countin down for mi to leave spore for phuket.. hmm.. ya.. time flies.. haven even pack anitin.. nah.. wat to bring sia.. bring myself go can le.. oh ya.. bring money oso.. tat's impt..
see my frenz display pic tat half boil egg, nw i'm so hungry.. sianz.. nw gg to cook my egg oso.. i mean! not my egg!!! is.. er.. the egg in my fridge!!! argh.. yue miao yue hei.. =.="
sianz.. liang wana meet ltr.. but no money, go where oso borin.. haiz.. lazy to change n go out oso..
feel like slpin again.. 'gosh esther.. y r u so lazy sia? onli noe hw to slp n eat.. wat the.. on diet plz! reminded of ur wt!!!' waa.. the angel in mi starts to tok liao.. kk.. don slp don slp.. lolx~
ahh.. finally my egg is up.. erm.. i mean the egg tat i took frm my fridge is cooked.. eatin the egg nw n drinkin coffee.. heavenly~ haas.. so relaxin n enjoyin.. cool~
k la.. nth much to blog le.. tats all for 2day ba..
Written @ 8:32 AM
nw is ard 2.25 in the AFTERNOON n yet, i.. i.. i jus woke up!!! wakaka.. hey guys, i'm not as lazy as wat u guys tink ok~ was up the entire nite practicin guitar wif liang hence i din catch ani of my slp till dis mornin aft liang left for sch..
dis pic is like so simple, yet i luv it.. haas.. perhaps it was my adidas jacket tat contrast? lolx~
erm.. .. plz forgive him.. i guess he's jus far too tired.. ..
woke up wif 1 eye swollen.. no idea y.. applied sum cream, but it doesnt seems to work.. still rather swollen.. argh~
sum may tink tat tonnin is a beri stupid n ridiculars tin to do.. well, i used to tink it tat way too, but no longer.. wen ones is upset, tonnin wif a close frenz helps him/her to feel beta.. tonnin enhance frenship, bringin it up to another lvl as dey goto crack their brain n tink together of wat is to b done nxt in the long long nite.. take ytd for example, u use the whole nite to finish n cover a book of praise n worship, i can play more songs nw den even wat me myself can imagine..
jus finish readin her blog.. wat the.. she kena bully sia.. shld praise God tat i wasnt frm tp, if not i'll skin the person alive, den chop tat stupid person up into pcs n discard at diff places in s'pore ar.. (it sounded like the kallang case) speakin of which, rem the feets of the decease was nv found? we r WRONG!!! dey had been found.. wen i told liang, he stunned n sumhw freak out.. lolx~ guess wat? the murderer discarded the feets at UBI AVE 1 BUS STOP.. hahaha!!! was watchin crime watch ytd while awaitin for liang.. kees.. so scary~ hey hey! back to topic! since God had simmered her, punished tat idiot, who m i to interfere? yup..
finally~ i tunned my own guitar!!! wakaka!!! kun goto lend mi his BIG TAYLOR BABY!!! muhaha!!! tats a deal btwn us.. he's gg to buy a real gd n nice guitar, so he challenged mi, if i dare to tune my own guitar, he let mi play wif his guitar.. i will b the first to touch his guitar leh!!! he's NOT gg to let anione touch it de u noe?? so honoured!!! *hapi hapi* haas.. liang wans to haf a feel of it too.. neh neh ni poo poo~ NO CHANCE!~ wakaka!!! erm.. y m i always so bad ar? lolx~ dono leh.. jus so bad.. haha..
haiz.. was playin playin.. y my fingers so stiff, i cldnt manage to press F.. i mean.. not for both bar nor open chords.. sad.. alot of songs nid F key yet i cannot play.. practice!!! plz guys, esther can onli play worship, i cannot play praise! haas.. fingers doesnt move tat fast.. i mean, can is can la.. but my praise sounded horrible.. i don wan God to plug in His ear plug wen i play, so.. i beta brush up on tat area.. lolx~ n.. one beri weird n funi tin.. esther cant sing n play guitar at a go! either i play well but don sing well, if not den i sing well but nth is in tune.. wakaka!!!
peng yee called mi.. lolx.. wanted to play bball again.. haha.. he's DEEPLY in luv wif bball nw.. waa.. dis holiday is reli a fruitful one.. i've reli done alot of tins tat i had not been doin for long.. haas..
woo.. tat dora call mi go DXO!!! bad gal.. haas.. cumin up DXO got a party, i din fasten my seat belt, thus got a shock upon noein tat dora is the co-organizer for dis event.. mine~ its DXO leh! such a famous club n dora is the co-organizer?!! AHHHH!!!!
erm.. k.. forget it.. no nid go liao.. bro don allow mi go clubbin.. fine.. don go don go lo.. .. haiz.. ..
erm.. i'm hungry nw.. groo groo~ haas.. k la.. gg out soon le.. will blog again..
Written @ 5:17 AM
had bball game ytd.. kun din turn up, guess yang is like sianz ji pua oreli, but the rest of us still enjoy ourselves.. peng yee beri funi sia.. lolx~ he's rather gd in his bball skills.. played HORSE.. wakaka!!! cant blif tat i got 2nd, of cuz, peng yee got first la.. lolx~ hurt my finger.. pain~
wanted to fetch her frm GW, but wen i abt to leave khatib, erm.. she told mi she knockin off le so don purposely go GW to find her.. erm.. she got it.. haiz.. .. so.. ya.. nvm ba..
went PS to buy guitar strings for my 'personal' guitar.. lolx.. erm.. suppose to b liang's guitar, but since he's holdin on to the other guitar, i'm havin dis instead.. haas.. bought GHS strings.. yup.. well.. don b surprise guys, i change the strings myself!!! wakaka!!! even liang cant do it sia.. but its ok! i don dare to tune guitar, he dono hw to change strings, nxt time i change strings n he tune the guitar! perfect partnership.. lolx!!!
erm.. thou juliet say its ok, but i self repent.. yup.. indeed i've told certain mems dey dem.. i don wish to b like SUMONE else, spread oreli yet deny everitin.. i've apologised to dem many many times, dey reli say nvm but.. the guilt la.. haiz.. do it, admit it.. tat simple.. ..
last wk's cg, bro was like.. kip on usin mi as example.. sianz.. everione was like luffin luffin.. beri funi meh? wat is there to luff abt.. i'm always for the example.. cant it b others???
liang said tat i'm gettin lazier.. last time will go joggin n gym wif him, but nw.. erm.. yaya.. true.. beri lazy leh.. promised him will at least go once to gym wif him dis holiday.. erm.. i oso nid to train triceps n biceps liao.. nw is like flabby flabby de.. yaya.. thou lazy, but still mus go leh.. lolx!~
daddy tok to mi ytd.. erm.. he asked if i reli don feel like gg puket.. den was there ma jiam promotin abt puket like tat to make mi go.. =.=" save it man~ i will go, cuz i promised mummy.. i will go, cuz the air ticket oreli bought long ago.. i will go for the sake of mi haven even step out of dis little island.. .. but jus.. SIANZ.. ..
meetin tian en ltr for guitar.. he wans mi to teach him, which i reli tink tat he got the wrong person.. but last wk BS says tat 'DO NOT reject others'.. erm.. ya.. so teach him wat i noe lo.. thx God he has his own guitar, i don wan my guitar bridge to cum out again.. erm.. lolx!!!~ liang will noe wat i mean.. wakaka!!!~ wat to teach him neh? erm.. i dono.. jus see wat song he wana learn lo.. haha.. wat a teacher i m..
stayin at hm whole day 2day.. goto finish up my deathnote comics soon la.. cannot make it sia.. i jus learn hw to read comics, but at the rate i'm gg, i tink wait till deathnote 2 cums out, i oso haven finish ar.. readin comics is so tirin.. it requires effort.. those chinese words, i don understand a tin.. lolx.. is there english version of deathnote comics? i guess tat'll b beta for mi.. hey hey.. but don like tat leh.. weijing lend mi his deathnote comics de leh.. thx to him if not i don even haf comics to read.. kees.. *clap clap* for him!!!
was on bus 65 back to liang hse rm PS, he noticed one gal n told mi tat she pretty.. well, he's always tat slow.. i oreli notice the gal the min we step up the bus.. but he got impovement leh, cuz dis time round the gal reli beri pretty.. wakaka.. he everitime pointed out one will reli make mi puke.. lolx~ kk.. he'll kill mi wen he read his entry..
guys, i'm almost fully book in dec.. so if u wana call mi out, erm.. check out my time slot wif my mi.. haas.. wat the.. i sounded as thou i m those big CEOs n managers sia.. but seriously, i'm all packed durin dec, chalet aft chalet, gg overseas all n all.. but hey.. those tat reli nid mi, i can always fork out my time ya? jus let mi noe, i will always b infront of u guys as soon as u call.. haas..
haas.. kk.. i shall stop here.. goto go practice guitar le..
Written @ 5:10 PM
oh plz.. y so many ppl tot he woo mi, or even he's my bf sia.. plz plz plz.. for God's n heaven's sake, he's jus my FRIEND!!! not interested in him sia!!! han, hear mi n hear mi well.. i not interested!!! don bhb le ok~ erm wait a min.. sumone is unhapi tat i din name him.. =.=" k.. guys, his name is xiang han.. he's frm tp.. 19 dis yr.. han, hapi liao ma? argh~
was late for bs 2day.. rainin like cats n dogs wen i abt to reach church.. rushin like hell as the stupid bus refuse to cum on time, was sweatin as down pourin wen i reached yet in the end i was not allow to enter the classrm.. thx God bro was ard.. His command is like a thunder down frm heaven, wen he say 'open the door!' waa.. even the section leader or team ic frm usher goto obey.. power~ thx bro!
tml meetin jaslyn for cg fund n the rest for bball.. lolx.. hapi hapi~ liang will b cumin as well.. yea!~
was sendin her hm.. y she gave mi such a diff feelin 2day?.. no idea hw to put it across.. she shared.. yup.. thx for the sharin.. i'm all ears.. venus n mars doesnt haf to b apart the day super glue is launch ok! erm.. lame~ nvm.. .. *burrr~* i luv her! wei.. cuz she's my gd frenz la! wat u guys tinkin sia.. lolx~
pst phil preached reli well.. i luv pst sy roger 1stly, den follow by pst phil!!! he looks young n cool, humerous too!!! his son is charmin as well.. lolx.. like father like son.. he's single n available!!! i wan i wan!!! wakakaka!!! bro sure wun object de.. muhaha.. but.. Esther, u mus b DREAMIN!!! erm.. *bubble burst* yes.. i m.. lolx~
feelin hungry nw.. erm.. shld i cook magie mee? tink i shld.. haas.. but lazy leh.. lolx..
argh.. havin headache.. arrr.. .. wana slp liao la.. but i oso wana eat leh.. aww.. no la.. don always so late den eat.. will FAT de!!! haas.. tink i gg to slp le.. reli beri tired..
Written @ 6:12 PM
tink ytd i din blog.. lazy, moody, don feel like bloggin.. ..
liang din go for work ytd.. dis time round i din physco him leh, is he himself doesnt wan to go den jio mi out de.. went to our 'lao di fang', east coast park as usual.. play guitar the whole day.. pic taken was nice seh.. take a look!
pai seh.. too hungry is like tat de.. wakaka.. say 'AHHHHH'~
he had grown up.. he reli does.. more n more handsome.. lolx.. k la.. tats reli frm the bottom of my heart.. thx to mi for his hair.. wakaka!!!
we don onli haf the same shoes, oso the same slipper ok! buddies r like tat de.. yeah! ^5
wat a nice posture.. beauty holdin on to a melodious guitar wif a perfect backgrd.. such potray worth more den monalisa's smile ok~
wat a photographer i m.. the scenery is so nice.. the main character is.. .. erm.. thx God cannot see face.. muhaha!
guess wat is dis? nah.. not an art pcs.. well.. plz la.. its jus my fav bundung!!!
had cell grp jus nw.. bro touched on alot of tins.. his preachin was so called meant for mi..? ya.. sumwat.. tinkin abt alot of tins.. i'm shoutin aloud rite nw.. 'I'M NOT HAPI!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!'
venus n mars.. 2 diff tins.. both far far apart.. r dey beri far? erm.. hw far? y arent dey close? hw can dey get close? wen will dey eva meet? Esther Leong.. plz la.. u r not astronaut nor scienist, hw will u noe??? ok.. fine.. i dono..
no more mustafar 2day.. went geylang to eat dim sum.. sooo nice~ yummy.. ze blessed us.. we ordered alot of food, each n everi item is enuf to make us drool by smellin alone..
these r the first batch of food.. aft which we ordered summore.. yum yum~ dim sun rox!!!
'ha gao'! weee!!! it is jus so tasty!!! zoom in abit.. aww.. transparent summore.. awwww...~
the fillin is droppin!!! b careful!!!
burp~ BURP~ ahhh.. finally finish le.. wat a feast.. but cannot always like tat eat, will fat de.. kees~
i'm beri shut off 2day.. BERI.. totally bad mood.. went tp tio catch by tat bloody security.. damn pissed.. ..
played bowlin as yanglin requested.. liang scored 135, i scored 129.. piang.. abit more can win him liao.. lin tot we're lousy in tat? nah nah.. wrong.. we're gd in everitin! wakaka!!!~ cumin up nxt, POOL!!! tats my best.. lolx~ see hw she die.. lolx!!!~
spiritual life is in a great mess nw.. wat more can b done.. same old few verses apply.. same old stories i'm gona hear if bro or ani others were to tok to mi.. sianz.. i haf no mood nor ani paitience to listen animore.. true.. my heart had harden.. so harden.. it turns cold.. wat can warm it up? i dono.. don bother to noe even.. at times.. i feel tat yi zou liao zhi is the best tin to do.. ..
don feel like sayin animore.. lazy to even open my mouth.. nth more to blog.. tats all for 2day..
Written @ 5:58 PM
haiz.. mummy was scoldin mi.. yaya.. but she was actuali indirectly scoldin korkor but makin use of mi.. zhi sang ma huai.. .. thx to korkor, my allowence got dock.. piang..
had guitar lesson wif liang jus nw.. din i say i wana brush up on my guitar skill? yea. i'm workin on it nw.. everione, here's the most shockin n biggest news.. i.. i.. i've cut my long long long precious nails.. surprising hor.. ya.. sacrificed for my guitar skill, feel like cryin nw le la.. aww.. ..
i've found a job.. still wonderin whether to take up the job anot.. seafood promoter! wee!~ meal is taken care of, work 5 days a wk, workin hrs 6-11 onli, yet $75 bucks a day (which means $15 per hr), wkend $90 a day n can off on sat!!! but sad to say, its abit too far leh.. bukit merah there.. sianz ji pua liao.. .. shld i? or shld i not?..
nth much to blog 2day leh.. haas.. tml will b worse.. tink will stay at hm to complete my comics ba.. lolx.. kk.. gtg go slp soon le.. tokin to him rite nw.. he lied to mi!!! i will rem.. but well, he did confess n repent.. ok.. he's forgiven..
k la.. beri tired le.. yawn~ wan an..
Written @ 3:31 PM
argh.. menstrual cramp.. cramp cramp cramp.. ..~ don even feel like movin.. well.. i guess it all bcuz i'm too into cold breverages.. as usual, normal temperature or warm water is never my choice.. ..
i'm feelin tired everi min n everi sec.. i jus cldnt get eunf of slp.. i'm always havin weird dreams hw a days.. .. everitin seems so real, so vivid.. y is dis so sia.. ..
bro saw my msn foto wif ziyuan, his first sentence was 'esther, tell mi tat he's not ur bf'.. well.. he reli isnt mine.. he's jeanie's.. haas.. n was like 'bro.. he is ziyuan.. ..' bro went 'ziyuan?? oh!!! his hair nw so long ar!!! cldnt regconize him!!!'.. =.="
wana watch tv le.. nth more to write..
Written @ 5:37 PM
jus came back frm orchard wif ziyuan n sorida.. christmas is drawin near hence all sorts of christmas deco r bein put up.. the ambience is there.. the atmophere is so romantic n fantastic.. u guys shldnt gif it a miss.. .. 
waa.. the tree tat God had place in garden of eden.. lolx.. wif crystal, ruby, sapphire n all in all.. cool~
lets build God a hse as such!!! so nice~.. .. i wish i can live in there.. .. aww..
hey! wat r u doin here yellow M&M???
ahhh!!! get mi off frm all those stupid bulbs plz!!! sumbody help mi!!! !!!
simply enjoyin everi moments lookin at hunks n dukes..
dis is my daddy ziyuan!!! wakaka!!! he seems abit 'dou ji yan' thou.. lolx!!!
n here we go!!! ahhh ummmmmhhhh... ..~ yum yum.. ..
lolx.. guess enuf of fotos liao.. we're like walkin n takin fotos, takin fotos n walkin? wakaka.. we din spend a single cent on ani other tin other den our dinner.. hu says tat gg out will cost? it doesnt.. *smile*
went to sorida's place aft tat.. erm.. ya.. as usual, the breeze there is coolin.. sat there n tok.. wen we're abt to part, thou i din feel much, but i can sense tat ziyuan was rather yi yi bu she.. well.. tat's for sure.. aft all we've been frenz for so many yrs, nw tat she leavin, we may not even get to see each other again.. ..
see.. ppl r walkin in n out of our life.. i blif tat those tat r ard u nw r jus sumone tat took a little rest while passin by the journey of ur life.. dey will b gone sumhw, sumwhere, sumtime, sumday unknowingly.. ..
ziyuan was kind of worry abt his results.. haas.. exams jus over onli, wat for tink so much? i guess i'm too used to the word 'haf FAITH!' lolx.. n tats wat i told him..
tml goto go ICA buildin to get the passport tins done.. argh.. if time doesnt clash, goto go for prayer meetin at YMCA still.. i wish i don haf to, but facts n truth r always against our heart n tots..
my hse here had been havin construction tingy, i cant even slp well wif all the 'music' tat dey r producin early in the mornin.. so guys, plz help mi out by not wakin mi up wif ur calls n msges k?
i'm reli reli beri tired.. slpin soon le.. zZzzz~
Written @ 5:11 AM
forget abt the password.. lin cant enter..
jus had my final paper.. cool.. rather easy.. set alarm at 6 in the mornin, but refuse to wake up even all the alarm started to ring like nobody's buzz.. goto FORCE myself up in the end, dragged my feet to sch wif tat slumberous look on face.. ..
havin terrible body ache nw.. i'm feelin snoozy n hypnotic.. i'm jus lack of slp.. spare mi frm ani appointment.. i jus nid to catch up wif my slp.. ..
at times, we reli goto tink twice before we open our mouth to speak.. is either u hurt others, or a vice versa manner tat others may use wat u said to tease u.. provided i'm jus jokin ard which i always do, other den tat words do flow n filter thru my mind before it comes out.. aft all, it's jus a small tin.. but i've reli said sumtin which i tink is very wrong n such tins cld actuali b obviated..
parted wif weixian jus nw.. before i left said dis 'frm 2day on, we'll onli b seein each other wen we happen to met sumwhere on the street'.. he responded 'u can always sms mi ma!'.. i added 'as if u will reply'.. haas.. ya.. i dono wats the reason for him havin a fone, he don even reply a single msg.. =.="
wait a min.. can anione gif mi a helpin hand? help mi massage.. haas.. or.. sponsor mi wif a massager oso can, tat will do too..
jeanie jio mi for clubbin!! yea... gg wif her.. i mean.. i'm gg change wat i m nw.. not as in to b lead astray, but to b more in trend.. jeanie is gd ok~ not those sa ba lak gal.. so no worries gg wif her..
meetin ziyuan n sorida dey all ltr.. vivio again.. plz plz plz.. not AGAIN.. sianz.. wonder hw ziyuan looks like nw.. xiankang? erm.. i don gif a damn.. my focus is onli on ziyuan..
argh.. my mood is bad.. is reli bad.. it had been days.. don provoke mi plz.. i'm gona b real nasty.. i find it so hard to tok to ppl, even for those tat i hold dearest.. 'Father, forgives dem for dey do not noe wat dey r doin..' plz apply tat verse on mi.. .. argh.. ..
gg to take a nap before meetin dem.. yawn..
Written @ 1:31 PM
went khatib for bball game wif yang, kun, jingxian n peng yee.. waa.. mai siao siao, jing xian is qie ban king ok! lolx.. all his qie ban beri zhun de.. peng yee not bad oso.. erm.. he too exuberant? too vibrant liao till his shorts tear.. wakaka!!!
ooo.. its dinner time! kun suggested to eat New York Pizza, we agreed.. each of us ordered diff flavs.. by lookin at our facial expression, u will noe hw tasty the pizza is..
erm.. tats kun.. he seems hungry~
ah boy looks satified.. yum yum.. wat a big fat smile on his face.. ..
oh no! wat is dis! plz eat wif image can???
er.. .. tats mi!! erm.. din i jus say to eat wif image? er.. haha.. no choice.. too tasty liao.. wakaka!!!
a fun yet tirin day.. tml still haf exams, i goto slp early.. tats all for today.. yea~
Written @ 5:56 AM
felt so much beta aft placin password for my blog.. the security is there..
meetin kun ltr for bball.. wat a pathetic arrangement.. tian en haf frenz at east, den jingxian called his frenz at west.. lolx.. nw hw? well.. lets compromise by playin in the central? jingxian's frenz beri ok de.. onli tian en's frenz, all don wana travel.. forget it.. haiz.. we'll jus go central WITHOUT tian en n his frenz.. .. so troublesome..
bro gg escape? erm.. liang woke mi up early in the mornin to tell mi tat.. i oreli say don call or msg mi in before 11 le.. will b offin my fone frm tml on.. last time used to tink tat ppl will find mi for urgent cases, but don tink so nw.. hu cares?.. argh.. bro din even msg mi, so don ask mi, NOT GG..
i'm so tired nw.. eyes closin le.. slept at 5 dis mornin, thx to liang, i'm nw soo DEAD..
chengyee called.. lolx~ askin for directions.. takin mi as her bus directory.. she ask the rite person! wei wei wei.. yes mi.. don doubt.. she askin ard city hall n bugis area ma, my sch there onli, so i noe everitin!!! muhaha!!!
aww.. i wanted so much to go for S.H.E concert.. *luv luv*.. but so ex.. summore buildin fund period.. haiz.. onli can tink, cannot go see.. haas..
k la.. my mind shut off liao.. lolx.. will blog again 2nite if poss..
Written @ 6:05 PM
back frm fellowship.. i'm so tired..
fellowship was fun.. played zhong ji mi ma again, n 007.. erm.. forfeit was to eat tat 8g packet of chili sauce.. yuck.. 4 of dem kena i guess? haas.. thx God i wasnt the one.. Jas n Glenn's punishment was funi, to dance those slow n romantic dance at the center of the food court n fun fair area outside expo.. lolx~ everione was spontaneous.. a foto was taken durin the mist of it.. lolx..
CUTE!!!~
there's no CL classes today.. or shld i say.. erm.. there's no CL lesson at 8.. haiz.. wonder hw bro sign up n arrange for us.. was reli angry at tat moment.. wen we told him tat there were no class aft a long search for the rm, he onli say 'iya!! yaya.. no class.. i forgot its in the afternoon, not aft svc!!! cum to mi for make up ok? okok.. go go..' was he even sori for it? but there again, i noe hw bz he is.. so.. haiz.. forget it ba.. anger simmered aft 10 secs..
i'm beri pek cek over alot of tins today.. may sound harsh wen i open my mouth, i don mean it.. will repent.. n sori to liang, i threw u the worse attitude but times n times again u take it all.. thx for bein so understandin..
my heart had turned cold.. toward God, toward mems.. i had no idea y.. i'm tryin to kip the fire burnin strong again, but no matter hw hard i've tried, it doesnt works.. i lost the spritual senses.. i cldnt sense Him animore thou so much so i wanted to.. 'luvin God wholeheartedly n luvin ppl fervently'.. a simple verse, yet it requires alot of effort to achieve.. there r left over agony n devastation stuck sumwhere in my heart.. i nid spiritual surgery.. i nid it desprately n urgently..
my life is like an accelerating car.. movin n movin, rain or shine, fast n slow.. caught all dust n got dirty, rain drops stained the car.. God is jus like the wiper, He wipes off everi stain n dirt, makin my vision clear for the route tat i'm gg to travel nxt.. He jus moves non stop, workin n workin jus to ensure tat i travel the rite path.. tats Him.. my beluved Heavenly Father.. He jus wans the best for us..
like wat bro had said durin cell grp ytd.. 'at times, there r far too much tins for us to say till we r lost of wat to say..' tats always the kind of feelins in mi.. mixed.. so much tins to say, yet not noein where to start n hw to put it across..
wen all of such feelins occurs, wen one's spiritual lvl is back slidin, n wen our heart turns cold, it all shows tat our faith in God r not strong at all.. its oso reflects abt our prayer life.. ..
we moves frm glory to glory.. always proceed to a whole new lvl.. i don wan to b the same, but i'm all lost of wat more cld b done..
i perfer valor cell grp den our cell.. true enuf, tats the fact.. she said tat frm dis, it oreli was a routine.. thou i don tink so, but perhaps she rite.. i cannot allow tat to b a routine.. i'm jus so reluctant, so dilatorise..
i miss mummy.. so many days had not seen her.. i'm like stayin in hostel wif kor kor like tat.. i onli get to see him in the mornin b4 he goes out, n at nite wen he cums hm.. i'm tired of such life.. it had been yrs since i last went out wif mummy, since i last interact wif kor, since i last tok to tat cow.. wat a hm.. who will care if i'm sick, who will care if i'm hm, we hardly even see one another.. so cold so cold.. the hse is so empty.. even a cough will returns wif an echo.. droppin a needle sounds as loud as bein amplified.. ..
i've been havin weird dreams these few days.. wat is God tryin to say?.. shld meet Him tonite, sit down n drink coffee wif Him.. haas..
tml gona b a borin day.. liang workin, i'm gona rot at hm again.. sianz.. help~
Written @ 5:50 PM
jus came back frm supper.. yes.. again.. actuli i don even feel like eatin.. but.. if i don request for supper, hu will fork time out for fellowship den?.. went gelyang to eat hock kian mee.. ze came n join us too.. the mee not reli beri nice, but bo bian, order liao so goto finish it..
met lin in the afternoon to get the presents for yang n sandy at bugis.. saw perlie there too, she was shoppin for eliz's bdae present as well.. we walked together.. haiz.. guess lin reli too long nv shop liao, the min u let her out of her cage, she's like gone wild abt her shoppin.. =.=" suppose to break fast at 6.. she bo chap mi n kip on shoppin.. i was super hungry oreli lor yet she still kip on walkin shop aft shop despite promised tat each shop she step into will b the LAST.. haiz.. was rather furious, yet i noe her desires for her shoppin mood as she's always bz n has got no time for shoppin, walk wif her till she hapi den go eat.. look at her oso feel like luffin sia.. well.. u'll noe hw much she MISSED shoppin frm her facial expression.. lolx~ aft all, reli la.. frenz shld compromise n gif in at ALL TIMES..
i've decided to brush up on my guitar skills.. i wan to b an excellent guitarist.. but er.. not for cell of cuz, but for past time n leisure purpose.. i'm willin to sacrifice my most precious.. .. .. .. NAILS jus for playin guitar.. yes.. i will..
meetin sorida on mon which is sumtin tat i wanted to do least.. if not tat she's leavin n ziyuan is gg as well, i cant b bothered.. i'm mean, i m indeed.. too bad.. ppl do change due to the surroundin.. so m i.. to those tat i'm mean to, i blif i USED to treat u guys reli nice.. reli reli nice.. but u guys had broke tat mutual trust n realiabilities in the frenship.. even a look at u guys will make mi feel like hittin the roof..
i repeat myself again.. forgivin doesnt mean acceptance.. u may b forgiven yet not accept, so get it rite plz!
i'm puttin password for my blog again.. too many extra n uneccessary ppl r viewin my blog n too much tins had stirred up due to my entries.. so the best tin is BAN phere.. i can allow u guys to read, yet i can forbbid n ban readers as well..
pl frm viewin! well, pastor always tell us 'God can gif it to u, He can oso take away frm u..' same
i'm beri beri tired.. eyes r closin soon le.. thx to all those tat LUVS to wake mi up in the mornin.. argh.. gona slaughter all of u guys n skin u guys alive.. humph! k la k la.. tml special svc? haas.. jus goto noe.. erm.. i tink is pst phill? yeah.. his preachin is much much beta den pst ulf!!! pst ulf one so borin.. >.<>
2day nv get to see liang.. aww.. i miss him! he say he goto work hard so as to get enuf money for my christmas present.. aww.. *touch touch* told him no nid liao but he say he will try his best.. see.. such bud, where to find.. onli can b given by God.. lolx~
argh.. i reli wana slp liao.. yawn.. plz.. no more calls n msges to pull mi back frm my fantasizin lala land.. plz plz plz.. let mi slp.. aww.. hao ba.. tats all le.. wan an..
Written @ 4:31 AM
was readin thru blogs aft blogs everiday.. came across a blog tat i reli wanted to comment abt it.. if the person is readin my blog, i wld wan to tell him/ her, God created man wif the freedom to choose, freedom to make decision.. its a choice whether to stay emo, or to stir urself up.. everitin in life r choices. all u nid is to b wise n make the rite choice.. hw? PRAY!.. if all u tink is tat ppl ard don luv u, u will nv b luv.. if u tink tat u had probs abt family matters yet u don attend to it n resolves, it'll nv b settle.. if u always tend to self pity, den tok to bro, he will tell u 'self pity = no pity'.. don b oversensitive over EVERITIN.. i'm not scoldin nor bein harsh, but jus to let the person noe 'the min ur tinkin changes, tats wen ur life changes..' plz plz plz.. seek God for all ans tat u wan.. pray pray pray..
tribulations n obtacles r there for us not to oversee it, but to OVERCOME it.. we're all warriors of Christ, hw can we even win the spritual warfare if we cldnt get our emotions rite?.. even if the entire world don luv u, dislike u, its ok de.. u don live for man, u live for God.. God luvs u n everi of us is an apple in His eyes, so r u.. if u tink tat self mutilation works, den go ahead.. till the day wen u see tat ur frenz r doin the same tin, i'll see hw u feel.. i'm in no position to say so much.. u tink abt it ba.. u do haf my num, sms or call mi if u wan to, i'm more den willin to tok to u.. =)
argh.. EVERIBODY LISTENS UP!!! esther is a light slper la.. so plz plz plz.. DON CALL OR MSG MI BEFORE 11!!! i noe sum of u r workin, r studyin hence u guys goto wake up early, but plz b aware tat i don.. aww.. i wan to slp..~ ytd i got woken up at ard 7.. 2day i got woken up at 6 plus.. argh..~ once i wake up, its beri beri hard for mi to go back to slp again de.. so tor long everibody, DON DON DON DON DON get to mi before 11 unless sumtin urgent happens tat regards to life n death.. i'm not angry la.. but u guess noe the pek cek'ness rite? kees.. so don kar jiao mi ok? muhaha..
kk.. jus woke up onli.. nth much to write cuz its jus the beginnin of the day.. *yawn*..
Written @ 5:18 PM
met sandy n honey for bs.. saw wei jing at church office too, wat a coincident.. went to carls jr (suntec) to eat n get to see nic n soo an over there.. kees.. soo an's first sentence was 'waa!!! hw cum u nw so skinny??!!' hahax~ *hapi* goten discount frm palani.. my burger was FRESHLY made, the beef chili cheese fries was 'jia liao' one oso.. muhaha! tan tio sia!!! well, as u guys noe tat i dyed my hair.. but sad to say, such an obvious colour on my head yet no one discover.. not bro, not sandy, not wei jing, not nic, not soo an, perhaps honey does? haiz.. last time tat colour not obvious n everione ask, nw dis colour so obvious yet no one ask.. aww.. ..
honey nids to go hm finish up her project, so.. sandy n i went shoppin while waitin for liang to dismiss frm work.. headed to vivo (argh~ AGAIN!!!) to buy tamagochi for sandy's cousin.. there got toy 'R' us ma.. kees.. can go in see toys oso.. wakaka.. on our way there we saw foreva frenz bears.. so cute.. ..
nxt time wen i marry, i mus make sure such bears r on the front of my weddin car! wakaka!!! (guess i tink too much)..
waited for liang to dismiss.. .. die le la.. even yan ning n lawson say tat liang looks like ah beng.. erm.. not my fault ma.. he wan high light de.. awww.. >.<>
tml havin cell grp.. erm.. haiz.. sianz.. i tink i prefer valor's cell? yup.. i reli do.. always got ministerin songs tat i've nv heard b4.. cool~ each time gg there for make up, i will always learn new songs.. the sermon is short n swt.. erm.. tat doesnt mean bro is not gd k? he is.. its onli abt diff preference.. .. still wonderin to go for make up or to go for my own cell.. .. argh.. tml den consider ba..
hey hey.. i blif u guys haf seen black hair base wif gold high lights, but haf u guys seens gold base wif black high lights? here it goes..
jus to tell u guys the biggest secret.. .. tat is.. .. is.. .. I LUV MY HAIR!!! thou condition is not gd, but at least its presentable ok! well.. if a person wif gd hair condition doesnt noe hw to manage their hair oso no use ma.. so.. hair condition doesnt reli make a diff as long as u noe hw to manage it.. =) or can i say tat i'm filled wif confidence wif my current outward appearence? lolx~ yup yup.. i m..
argh.. wana slp nw oso cannot.. so full.. ltr go vomit out everitin den can slp le.. yeah~ *yawn yawn*
Written @ 2:10 PM
dyin hair day!!! haas.. liang came over my place to dye hair!!! well.. since he has no experience, guess i shld b the one helpin him to high light ba.. lolx~ the results was fantastic! i took the left over to try too!!! wakaka!~ here r sum pic..
wakaka.. mist of dyin..
liang's hair..
my hair!!!
haas.. i look like ah lian.. he looks like ah beng.. muhahaha!!! quite fun.. first time dye hair 2gether wif sumone.. lolx~ mummy said tat liang's hair looks nice! erm.. y didnt she say mine neh.. aww.. kees.. but nvm.. i like it can le.. la la la!!!~
Written @ 5:38 AM
5 mins ago, my hse electricity got cut off.. i was usin the com halfway wen sumone's knockin at my door.. peep into the doorview, it was a man in blue.. 'no openin of door to strangers', thus i went back to play com.. hu noes.. my com auto shut.. well, nw i noe wats wif the man in blue.. =.=" he's frm the PUB, he off the switch n locked my hse's circuit box.. stupid him.. .. i called mummy up, she said tat she's too bz hence din pay the utility bills off.. argh~ fine.. well.. she shld thx God for such a brilliant daughter like me.. i opened the door, went out wif my scissors, open the circuit box n cut everitin, den push back the switch.. yup.. n i came back to use my com.. .. if i don do it, i'm gg to go thru my entire day without aircon, without tv, n worse still, without com.. ahhh.. kk.. wonderful action.. *clap clap*
bro once told mi tat 'frenship is a hallucination'.. i dono wat he means.. perhaps nw i do.. it appears to mi tat i've not known nor understand her enuf even as yrs went past.. i slept at ard 3-4 ytd, readin back all my diaries.. i tot both of us had changed to the beta, but it seems to mi tat we're still the same.. each time wen she's gg thru certain tins, so much so i wana help, i wan to b there for her, but she didnt gif mi a chance to.. i haf nv walk into her heart.. nv.. .. wat a failure i m, tinkin tat i noe alot, yet i noe nth.. self proclaim tat we're close yet we're not.. we're near, yet we're far.. its a tragical drama tat had been rolled over n over again in my life.. 'God, i don wan tat.. .. i don.. ..' its not a complain.. but its the deepest cry of my heart.. ..
we don gain is bcuz we don let go.. hw can we catch on to more tins if we refuse to let go wat is in our hands..
i'm jus enervated, fatigued, devitalized.. i'm losin my grip.. yet tats sumtin tat i cannot afford to.. the momentousness tin is tat the cell nids to b build up, not by bro alone but each n everi of us plays a part.. same question is bein asked again n again 'if the cell is not doin well, wat r u doin den?'.. i got all stumbled, havin no idea of hw to ans it.. so frm 2day on, i'm gg for the ans.. i wld wan to ans tat question wif faith n wif pride.. everitin will narrow down to the first step i'll b makin to the cell.. .. i'm on the battle, wat abt u guys..?
its still the same sayin frm mi.. 'i don care hw others feel, i don care wat others tink.. as long as it is God's way, it will always b the best way..'
Written @ 1:32 PM
i've decided to take up prvt diploma.. yup.. hospitality hotel management.. aft which all my time will b burn out.. i wldnt even haf time for church, or shld i say tat my wkends will b fully occupied, occlude mi frm gg church.. ..
it occured to mi always tat gg church is an option, is a choice, till i read kc's blog.. its never the way tat i feel.. gg church is our pleasure, is our honour.. God is nv first, but one n onli..
i'm gettin bz le.. n sumtin stirkes mi.. no one will discover ur presence n existence, till the min u vanish frm their life.. true enuf, tats always the case..
bro said sumtin tat made meditated on it.. 'a frenz is sumone hu gifs full support to their frenz despite the lousiest decision dey've made'.. .. times n times again, i got so work out n furious abt the stupid decisions ppl ard mi had made, but little did i noe tat each decision dey made r thru their deep tots n pressures.. i will gif my advice, but if dey persist, i shall jus respect their decision, gif a smile n say 'i support u'.. =)
i've been tokin to brendon these few days.. wonder hu isit? he's our church drummer.. chattin away wif him in msn.. shocked? don b surprise, i haf direct link to kc, pst sidney n delirious as well.. the song 'all to you' was written by kc, together wif brendon.. all of us onli tot tat kc wrote it, nah.. brendon had a share too.. brendon is in san fransico nw, the temperature there is onli ard 10 degree celsius.. burr.. so cold~ dis wk he's not playin, tan boon is the one.. haiz.. wen will he b back neh.. ..
thx to mui, i used her acc for loadin songs into my blog as my acc cannot b retreive.. guys, the backgrd music of my blog means alot to mi.. lend mi ur heart, close ur eyes n feel the song together with mi.. .. 'i cant live, if livin is without u.. cant give, cant gif animore..' i perfer Air supply's version.. well.. cant get tat, no choice but to take mariah carie's.. she ruined the song.. ..
Written @ 5:12 AM
met liang ytd aft his band.. decided to break fast wif CURRY CHICKEN.. yum yum~ went to take a look at spects, givin liang certain idea of wat to buy..
wow.. wen was my last visit to princess cinema? beri long ago~ tink it had been renovated? sumhw it looks diff to mi.. went in to watch 'the covernant'.. pretty gd show.. other den the computer animations, guess nth wonderous abt the show.. lolx~ the guy is handsome!!! his name is Celeb.. He is charmin, protective, muscular, humble, moreover, he has got super power! aww.. i wan such bf as well..
waa.. sianz sia.. i'm gg to thailand phuket resort.. go thailand see beach? piang.. spore don haf meh.. .. argh.. don feel like gg le sia.. .. wonder if i shld bring lappy along to thailand, if borin can go online tok to liang n the rest.. lolx~
2day i'm bein a gd gal, stayin at hm the whole day.. tml meetin bro.. hmm.. fri neh? sianz.. gona rot at hm again le.. aww..
Written @ 6:01 PM
jus came back frm supper wif ze, liang n sandy.. waa.. recently i'm so into supper lor.. no choice.. fastin ma.. in the day cannot eat, so eat in the nite lo! haas.. went geylang eat the beef hor fun, fried osyter, carrot cake, you tiao, beancurd, mee suah n the soya bean.. ahhh.. so full.. .. (guess u guys r droolin oreli) haas.. wif the norminations n encore of us, ze brought us to.. .. *drum row~* GEYLANG LOR 18!!! waa.. reli alot of 'crows' there standin for business.. it was like a tour to us.. ze drove very slowly in order for us to see hw does the brothels n the entire street looks like.. well.. i've nv been there before, dis is my primary visit there.. ze said tat we beta not walk in ourself, we can onli take a look if we haf car.. haas.. hence, tat lead us into conclusion.. its always gd to haf a frenz tat owns a car! thx ze!
waa.. die le la.. nw a days each n everitime aft i ate, i haf the urge to vomit.. did i stuff myself up? or.. did i used to havin empty stomach? or even.. .. i haf aneroxic? waa.. hw hapi will i b if i haf tat.. .. lolx~ but don care la.. i still haf 10 more days to continue wif my fast.. hmm.. i've lose 7kg.. 3 more kg to go for my ideal weight.. jia you!!
i beri tired le leh.. but cannot slp.. still beri full.. argh.. kk.. i shld end here.. feel like vomitin.. vomit out everitin to empty my stomach den can slp liao.. wan an bloggy!
Written @ 6:00 AM
had been 3 days since i last blogged.. there're alot of tins tat i wana touched on..
first n foremost, i wana thx God for revealin the truth.. we always tends to say 'truth stands' isnt it? yup.. it indeed does.. God had settled it for us thru bro.. God is fair, hence bro is rational too.. surprisingly, both ze n i 'won' tat warfare.. but aft all, its nv abt winnin, its abt lettin the truth b out.. dey apologised, yes, n were forgiven.. but forgivin n acceptance r 2 diff tins.. forgiven, yet not accepted.. mutual trust is broken.. ..
exams r finaly over.. i noe i din do beri well.. but its ok.. ultimately i've tried.. moreover i oreli had plans abt wat i'm gg to do.. able to go poly is an addin point, but if cant, i shall go aft my plans.. there's 1 last paper on the 20th.. well.. all the best to myself.. ..
recently my temper was horrible i guess.. same here for mi.. tok fast n without usin brain.. sianz.. almost quarreled wif her twice.. dono wat i'm tokin too.. but tats not a gd excuse for mi.. yup.. will reflect on it.. ..
went for make up cell is valor cell grp.. hmm.. i always like his cell grp.. wakaka.. nice, short, sweet.. opps~ =x hey! first time u noe, ppl carryin baby for cell grp! haas.. the baby was so cute, onli noe hw to slp n drink n wldnt even b affect by the loudness of our praise n worship..
kees.. valor open declare tat he wana marry his gf? wakaka!!! but the scene wat rather awkward, his gf got no respond.. aww.. ..
waa.. the cell mems pro sia.. cell grp suppose to start at 1, but even till 1.45, onli a few cats n mice r present include the 3 of us.. i stare at weijing, weijing stare at liang, liang stare at mi.. yeah.. some came in the mist of cell grp, some came at the end of cell grp, some came aft cell grp.. valor don mind de meh? hmm.. thx God our cell is not like tat.. lolx~ bro will kill all of us.. .. sumtin he's best in, --------> twistin our neck, pull off our limbs.. .. wakaka!! piere is strict i heard? he don allow mems to b late for cell.. once late, he'll lock the door, n tat means.. .. NO ENTER.. *cool~*
well.. liang din Q as we went for make up cell, as predicted.. no one bother to Q.. erm.. so.. we sat at the xtreme side of the hall lo.. view was super duper bad.. but hey! i learnt sumtin new! sign language!!! kees.. ask mi ask mi! nxt time i show u all!!! hahaha~
Pst Aries walked passed ping n i to tok to some normal mems?.. ping called him, but he din hear.. i was like tellin ping 'waa.. pst tokin to tat guy.. wen will it b my turn wen pst will tok to mi or even rem mi.. .. haiz.. ..' wen he walk back, ping called out again.. he turned, n look at mi!
he: 'hey!! so long nv see u ar! where haf u been? (he shook my hand)'
i: 'erm.. i had been in church ar.. haas.. onli u nv see mi la..'
so he like abit pai seh but smiled n proceed wif
he: 'waa.. u nw.. nw..' (viewin mi frm toes to top, frm top to toes)..
i: 'pst, u wan to say i beri tall isit?'
he: 'ya la!'
i: 'n slim rite..~'
he: 'yaya!!!'
haas.. well.. in the end cant chat ani longer as he still has tins to do.. but tat was reli an unforgetable experience..
wooo!! the place we sat was reli a gd one! thou the view was lousy, but we saw pst kong n rev ulf ekman! waa.. pst kong is so handsome.. so charmin.. *dreamin~* erm.. okok.. i back to sense le.. kees..
i gg for new bs classes le.. well.. i dono if i shld take up the diploma, cuz all my time will b burn out.. but.. as a student, shldnt we glorify God by our studies..? so.. i will go for tat.. but i still haf a long way to it, so currently wana occupy myself wif bs, work n ministry (if i can get in).. i wana excel i wana excel i wana excel i wana excel I WANA EXCEL!!! argh.. yes.. i wan to n i mus! jia you!!
ytd's fellowship was great.. so fun sia.. thx to weijing's chendol~ wakaka.. tat chendol is reli beri nan he lor.. y m i so stupid to start up the idea of zhong ji mi ma.. =.=" in the end i kena as well, goto drink 1 whole mouthfull of tat er xin de chendol.. poor bro.. he goto finish everitin up.. haas.. its reli a cheap entertainment.. jus bcuz of tat chendol, it brought up the substain n element in the fellowship tat had disappeared for long.. .. if everi fellowship were to b like dis, hw nice cld it b.. ..~ *smile*
Written @ 1:14 PM
went marina bay the day before wif ping, liang n weijing for steamboat.. aft which went to the seaside.. the view was nice..
ytd met mui wif liang.. liang brought mi to swensen to eat ice cream cake as he promised.. was hapi.. real hapi.. my hapi time cld onli b found wif the persence of liang..
tok to ze n bro at nite.. i reli dono hw to face the prob animore.. its the first time tat i lose all hope, felt so lost.. i got nth more to say.. reli nth.. count it my luck wen we met such ppl.. listenin to ze, listenin to bro.. frm my part of view, tins cld nv b resolve, ppl r still puttin an act, twistin facts ard.. wat else cld b done.. tell mi.. wat else.. ..
i'm all prepared for the tok tml.. ya.. prepared.. prepared to die.. .. its an open warfare tat i will nv win.. dey're all on the victory side..
thru all these, i can clearly understand sumtin.. mems r condemnin one another.. ppl haf the cheek to say tins yet don wana admit it.. .. well.. in everione's heart, i'm oreli condemned.. long before.. the day i stepped in till these days.. in urs, urs, urs n urs eyes.. all of u.. ..
i'm gg into hibernatin period.. jus let mi isolate myself for dis while plz.. .. i'm so sherk so sherk.. so tired.. not physically but all emotionally.. y r all my leaders so blinded.. .. y.. everitin r against mi, or even US.. wats tat.. .. i've got no more strength to do anitin nor say anitin animore.. .. do all u guys wan ba.. i admit tat i lose.. yaya.. i lose.. jus stop everitin.. ..
Written @ 4:53 AM
meetin liang, ping n weijing ltr.. haas.. nth beta to do so decided to take a foto of wat i'm wearin.. thx God tat the foto was dark enuf.. erm.. cuz.. cuz.. belly got no cloth to cover!!! >.<
Written @ 5:19 PM
2day was a lousy day.. indeed lousy.. i'm more hurt nw compared to all along tat hurt in mi i guess.. ..
maths was ok.. ss sux.. i was totally demoralised.. TOTALLY.. i mugged so hard for sec 4bk.. yet.. .. nth came out.. nth.. .. i blamed myself.. the quest was so easy.. y din i study sec 3bk.. y.. .. i tried so hard dis time round.. i reli studied.. but y i noe nth the min i open the paper.. .. y..
yuan lai.. .. i'm 'such person' in u guys heart.. my spiritual lvl is hittin ZERO.. no.. it oreli was.. n to JENG YU ZHI, plz.. u r BANNED frm viewin my blog.. if u still haf the cheek to pass everi msg on, den there's nth for mi to say.. no hard feelins but hear mi n hear mi well.. u r BANNED.. tot u everitin oso tell hui yi? plz go tell her tat u r banned frm my blog k???
i don haf a problem.. all of u NEW mems r the ones.. (take wejing out of the pic).. i hated all of u since the day u guys came.. CHILDISH, BRAINLESS, IMMATURE.. yet the helpers can b BLINDED by u guys.. i'm not as foolish.. i noe hw serious dis entry can cause, i said it, i bear wif the consequences..
i m beri sad.. indeed.. even wen tokin to weijing, tears abt to flow.. but u guys doesnt worth ani of my tears.. not a single drop..
a million thx to lin n liang.. even if the sky wld falls, i noe, u guys r the ones tat will stood by mi.. .. weijing, i heard ur 'Esther strong strong! Jia you!' thx.. perhaps i'm nasty at times.. but my way of showin luv is diff frm others.. u guys don feel it, don sense it, don see it, doesnt mean tat u guys r not luv.. but ALL my luv r bein betrayed.. .. whether i leave anot, it has nth goto do wif u guys.. so stop rejoicin..
i don haf to care hw others see mi, but God.. He noes hw hurt i m rite nw.. ..
Written @ 4:55 PM
i'll make everitin short..
met mui for math tuition.. perhaps i'm too tired, nth much went into my brain, but still i tried hard to capture wat mui says..
met liang aft tat.. go hm 2gether..
tats all for 2day.. tml is my o.. i'm reli reli nervous.. i don rem i was as nervous last yr compared to dis yr.. plz plz plz.. guys.. pray for mi.. i nid miracles, wisdom, sharpenin of mind, peace, gd results.. mainly i nid EVERITIN.. pray pray pray..
thx guys for all the msges tat came in.. i appreciated all tat.. thx alot..
Written @ 7:41 AM
haas.. jus bein bo liao by drawin dis..
i guess i've drew myself to b too skinny..
lolx~ but its ok.. soon i'll b tat size..
*giggle*
Written @ 5:11 PM
its time for red entry..
cldnt manage to steal connection frm ANIWHERE, thus.. i shall guai guai de use my com other den lappy..
everibody, guess wat m i doin nw??? BIORE PORE PAD!!! wakaka.. tat lin la.. say i got black heads.. nw tryin to touch up n 'salvage' my complexion..
she oso say my eng beri lousy.. ya la ya la.. lousy lousy lo.. hu call u all ar.. last time my eng so pro, den u guys la! call mi brush up on my chinese.. i did.. in the end eng nw KNS liao.. argh.. its ok.. as long as u guys understand wat i'm tokin n wat i'm writin can le..
i'm filled wif tot since jus nw.. but cldnt figure wat i'm tinkin abt either.. ..
dey say dey gona miss mi wif i change cell.. but guess its onli for the first few mths ba.. aft a short period, hu will still rem tat dey used to haf a mem like mi? i guess not.. haas.. its always like tat de isnt it? lolx~ its reli a tough decision.. jus bcuz of my own spiritual life, i goto gif up 2 frenship.. isit worth it? definately not.. but we don do tins accordin to wat we tink n wat we feel, but do wat is benificial to us.. .. i dono la.. plz do not ask animore.. i'm beri vex oreli.. ..
exams startin on mon.. man.. there're reli ALOT of tins tat i dono.. i'm straight n slow, cant help but to remember n memorise everitin word for word.. i'm oreli tryin beri hard, but y nth seems to enter my head.. sob~
aft bloggin i still goto study.. haf been slpin at ard 4 plus 5 in the mornin lately.. tired.. reli tired..
prayers prayers prayers, i'm desprate for it.. .. pray for mi plz.. will u guys do?
Written @ 6:33 PM
jus came back frm supper wif lin n ze.. went to katong to eat the five star chicken.. lolx~ the chicken was gd.. yes.. onli the chicken.. haas..
both ze n i had a long conversation.. lin was there.. sumhw i noe tt she was rather affected by wat ze n i had said, i cld sense the deep tots gg thru her mind.. haiz..
readin her entry made mi teared.. she nv noe hw much will i b missin her if we to b in diff cell.. its an indication of our frenship driftin apart if tat gona happen.. i don wish to.. reli don wish to.. but alot of tins r beyond my control.. ..
its not bcuz of him tat i made such decision, is the ppl ard.. he is gd, tat i don deny.. i luv him jus as much as he luvs us.. i stood for him as well.. but hw much longer cld my stamina last.. ..?
if u guys started to miss her, den tink abt hw much i had oreli missed her.. we used to b so close so close, yet i din do my part in helpin her wen she nided most.. wen tins happened, she came to mi wif tears, tellin mi hw much she treasured dis frenzship, i ignored her.. .. hw mean m i.. nw tat she's gone.. she left a great scar in mi.. my heart bleeds for her n my soul cries aloud in the inner of my flesh.. ..
i shall turn all hatred into holy anger.. God will do his part den.. ..
'Leave before the fire of God falls frm heaven'.. ..
i'm so pain so pain.. i had been strugglin wif all these emotional hurts for so long.. its time to end it all.. ..
Written @ 8:22 AM
God reli reads the desire of our hearts.. recently i was jus whinin n complainin abt me not havin a chance to step out of singapore.. FOOOM~ God noes it! it was more den jus a miracle to mi tat my mum actuli called n ask if i wanted to go thailand for vacation durin the dec break.. wow~
n ytd, wen i wanted to meet lin yet she din wan it, heart sank.. i was bloggin abt it as u guys can see.. but guess wat? aft tat entry, she msg mi 'hmm.. k.. meet u at same place.. .. ..' God is so real, He is more real den we eva tot.. He jus noes wat we yearn n wanted.. but fulfillin all my wishes, is jus like.. .. hmm.. hw shld i put it.. its jus like.. an uncle givin a stick of lolipop to a cryin gal? haas.. the uncle gif wif care, concern, luv n generousity, yet it can make the gal stop cryin n smile for the entire day.. haas.. tat uncle is our Daddy God.. He is always able to turn situations ard.. God is gd, all the time!!! All the time, God is gd!!!
Got back my fone le.. ahh.. miss him so much.. he told mi tat he miss mi too.. lolx~ finally can load songs le.. wakaka.. yeah yeah yeah~
met mui.. lolx~ the way she teach math is so funi.. but.. haas. as least i understood.. haas.. so long nv see mui.. aww.. will b seein her again for cell ltr? kees..
came hm rather late aft sendin lin hm.. well, computer again.. haas.. chat wif perlie, touchin on abt cell grp stuff.. sianz.. tok till beri gek sim.. she offered to call mi.. haas.. nah.. but i called her instead.. she played my fav song.. 'twinkle twinkle little star'.. .. she sang n played on her guitar.. i almost melted at tat very moment.. i'm touched, indeed.. if sumone frm other cell can show so much care n concern, i don see y cant our cell mems do the same.. chat wif her on the fone till ard 3 plus 4 wen my fone went low batt.. =.=" i luv perlie.. she simply made my day..
i realised tat i had a rapid deprove in my singin.. i cant manage to hit alot of notes.. but its ok.. trainin being~ haas..
tell u guys a secret.. *look left* *look rite*.. i've lost 4 kg!!! din go on diet purposely, but dono y, jus shook of the excess fats.. lolx~
skimmin thru all the album of JJ.. frm his 'yue xing zhe' to 'cao cao'.. he had been improvin his way of composin music.. each n everi album gave listeners a brand new n fresh feelins.. he sings everi song wif tat certain element.. he sings wif his heart, not wif his voice alone.. guess tats the reason for our yang xiao mei to fall so deeply in luv wif him ba.. lolx~
early in the mornin got woken up by him.. he called.. askin for my mum.. sianz.. cant he call my mum hp? told him tat my mum was still aslp n assured him tat i will get my mum to call him back the min she wake up.. i went back to slp.. piang.. he called again.. askin for my ic num.. see.. a dad tat doesnt noe hw to write his gal's name, doesnt noe his gal ic, doesnt noe his gal bdae.. mainly he noes NTH.. told him my ic, he hung up.. i went back to bed again.. he called again!!! dis time round askin if i haf passport size foto.. waa piang.. is tat impt? don haf den go take la! goto call n call de meh??? *pek cek* ya.. guys.. i'm gg overseas le.. by AIRPLANE.. cant blif tat.. he called jus to reassure everitin as he's buyin the air tickets 2day.. kor kor hated him so much.. it shocked mi to hear tat korkor is gg as well.. well.. oso gd la.. beta place mi in the same hotel rm as korkor den in the same rm as him.. ..
haas.. tink mummy more xcited den us? lolx~ kip on tellin us to pack our luggage nw wen we r onli leavin in dec? hahax!~ i noe hw much mummy wanted to go overseas as well.. each time we haf a chance to go, but its always bcuz of our bad terms wif him, in the end entire trip got cancelled.. erm.. dis time round wun de la.. mummy is hapi.. reli hapi.. haas..
i go bath liao.. haas.. not gg out yet, but jus feel like bathin.. lolx! wakaka!!!
ahh!!! while i was bathin, 1 lizard n 1 cockroach ran out 2gether!!! r dey frenz? or r dey adulter? argh.. cant b bothered to noe.. i ran out of the bathrm n into my rm to search for insecticide.. killed the 2 of dem.. eee.. its so scary~
haiz.. don say liao.. goto pack my bag for cell ltr.. got tins to show honey leh.. shld i bring lappy? argh.. forget it.. so heavy.. k.. gtg.. bye~
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