My love for you sank to the bottom of the ocean..

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Lost in love..

Wishlist

Here are the items!
~~1) Itouch~~
~~2) Skull Candy~~
3) Fred perry button shirt
~~4) Watch~~
5) Gucci wallet
~~6) Crumpler sling bag~~
7) Skaters Cap
8) Digital Camera
~~9) Clothes~~
~~10)White shoes~~
11)Accessories (tie, bowtie, brouch, vest etc..)

Written @ 4:24 PM

went settlers' cafe ytd for appreciation cell.. abit contradictin hor? said tat i wun b gg, yet turned up.. but since i called the rest to go, not turnin up means i'm not showin example ma.. jus go lo.. .. bein teachable is to FORCE ourself to do tins tat we r reluctant to isnt it? yea..

erm.. bro paid for my meal in return of thxin mi for servin him always.. but but but.. wen did i??? he say to argue no more but to accept his treats.. well.. wat more can i say? haas.. erm.. i wonder hw n why but i jus goton the 'servanthood award'.. was rather surprise wen my name was bein called.. 'did dey made a mistake?' tat was wat i tot to myself.. but no leh.. it was indeed my name tat was written on the cert..

dis cert came in on the rite time.. .. i doubted myself all along.. my character, my attitude n my capabilities.. i always tink tat i'm a trouble maker more den a history maker.. i always created probs to bro den to help him in resolvin dem.. i always haf my own stands den to b teachable wen was bein instructed.. i was always floatin up n down regardin my spiritual life den to take in the remenberance of His unfailin luv.. all in all, i was a horrible n terrible person to myself.. .. the greatest enermy wasnt anione else, but to fight ourself, our flesh.. .. i wasnt jokin wen i said tat dis award was an acknowledgement (ken ding), it was a heart settin moment for mi, an act of startin tat energine in mi.. .. bro appreciated mi.. yes he did.. more den i eva xpect.. jus bcuz of tat simple cert, it boost all my courage n faith, i was sumone bein noticed.. certainly i was.. .. but aft all, its nv abt wat the reward will b like, whether to b noticeable or not, but to serve wif all our hearts, all our abilities.. .. tats all abt servanthood.. ..

went to lin's place to pick eddy up for svc.. haas.. styled his hair.. not bad leh.. haha! erm.. shhh~ played his ps2 as well.. SMACK DOWN!!! wakaka!!! he taught mi hw to play.. keke~ 'baby sitin' eddy was reli a tirin job.. well.. but i did it wif joy.. tat applies the same to the work of God.. i learnt alot of tins frm lin, as well as eddy.. don ask mi wat was it all abt.. the revelations were far too many for mi to rem or mention.. .. yet each of the revelation received, was an impactin moment for mi.. it jus hit mi hard n strong.. ..

the song tat i waited for more den 2 yrs was finally bein sang again.. .. it was the first worship song tat i heard durin my primary visit to church.. .. it means alot to mi.. .. touchin, anointin.. ..

'hide mi nw
under ur wings
cover mi
within ur mighty hands

wen the oceans rise
n thunders roar
i will soar wif u
abv the storm
Father u r king
over the flood
i will b still
noe u r God.. ..'

i wonder n wonder n wonder.. .. m i changed n moulded tat i seldom flare or angry? or m i too numb towards tins tat i don even care? haas.. nah.. its ok.. i don haf to noe the ans.. ..

i'm a singin bird nw~ rejoice n rejoice wif His luv n presence~

Written @ 7:54 PM

jus finish chattin wif sandy over the fone.. lolx~ wenting told mi tat sandy was moody.. nah.. she wasnt la! guess wenting's sensitivity rate abit low.. sandy was actuli angry wif her instead.. haha!

weneva i'm angry or feelin low, sandy will always wanted to buy mask for mi.. haas.. she said tat frown n bein angry will cause wrinkles, so.. .. here cums all my masks!!! wakaka!!!~

thou sandy claim tat she doesnt noe hw to coax ppl, but she coaxed mi well.. .. was reli unhapi 2day.. she wanted mi to call her den but i refused.. .. guess she knew i was feelin real bad.. she left mi alone wif a msg of 'aww.. don cry.. i'm always here for u'.. .. *smile* thx sandy.. ..

was it coincident or God incident? i felt lousy 2day.. wei jing called to tok to mi.. aft which ping ping called too.. one called aft another.. wenting oso.. tokin to dem makes mi feels beta certainly.. ..

tml is appreciation cell.. not intendin to go.. but truely wana gif thx to bro, liang n sandy.. the beluved cgl i had n the 2 best buddy n frenz tat r always here for mi.. luv u guys lots n u guys rocks!!!

i cld stand firm no more.. i'm all worn out.. those tat had let mi go, don grab mi back.. u r in no position to as u had nv cherish mi before.. .. start treasurin nw? perhaps its far too late.. .. ..

i din choose to gif tins up.. .. but i'm reli tired.. ..

Written @ 8:12 AM

givin it a miss for appreciation cell dis yr.. no one worth thxin.. neither m i worth sumone's thxin either.. .. 'if u don feel like gg, fine, don go'.. sumone said tat.. yup.. i reli don feel like gg.. y force myself den?

a lousy helper caused all probs.. i don haf to judge tat particular helper, God noes wat he or she had done.. hw much hurt he or she had caused to one party.. others may b blinded, but God wil not.. to tat particular helper, jus wana say.. .. i rem everitin single tins u did to mi.. watch it.. God's gg to gif all of it back to u doubly.. ..

on the 2/3/05, she said dis '.. .. its difficult thus u nid frenz to accompany u over.. a frenz doesnt nid to sit down n listen or to advice u, jus 2 or 3, sit down together, no boredness or anitin, jus enjoy each other's presence while the other party haf sum peace n quiet time.. dey can sit without sayin a word.. ..' used to tink tat wateva she wrote seems revelational n philosophical.. it sounded nonsensical to mi nw.. .. ..

bible knowledge? philosophies? i noe it too well.. its jus a choice aft all.. .. but i've lose all the wisdom in makin tat choice.. no strength, no courage, no faith.. .. ..

wen my strength deosnt allow mi to grab hold to my frenz, i had no choice but to release the grab n let dem go.. .. aft all.. ppl walk in n out of ur life.. ..

don use ur strong to press on to the weak.. dey're bruised, dey're bleedin.. wen u r not on the same lvl as dem, the view will nv b the same.. drop a lvl n feel the way dey feel, to see the way dey see.. ..

its not jus a feelins.. but its a knot.. a dead knot.. .. .. a dead knot.. .. .. ..

Written @ 4:21 PM

thailand trip was great.. speed boat, scuba divin, eatin of bird nest all n all.. made new frenz too, dey r reli a cool n funky bunch..

dis was the best pic tat i eva took in thailand.. cool huh? kor took it.. air jordan.. .. lolx!~

took dis foto frm the balcony of my hotel rm.. so nice...~

i dine at the moutain top.. wat a view.. hey plz.. not for those tat feared of heights!

donuts!!! a wide wide wide variety of donuts tat can eat burst ur stomach!!!

the first tin i tot of aft i return was the christmas service.. haas.. Daddy Jesus's bdae!!! went for sun svc.. aww.. the candle light svc was so romantic.. ..~

i'm sori Daddy Jesus, i wasnt payin attention in singin to u but was busy capturin the romantic scene.. erm.. such scene cannot b miss isnt it? =x

went to eat roti prata wif liang n yang ytd.. waa.. so full.. we ordered 2 prata plain, 2 prata egg, 1 prata cheese, 1 cheese mushroom, 1 mutarpak, 1 milo dinosaur, 1 bundung dinosaur, 1 teh tareh, 1 alovera grape n 1 sarsi.. lolx~ *burlp~* aft eatin yang went hm to prepare for his mom bdae.. as for liang n i? we travelled to boon lay by bus 30.. erm.. butt almost cracked.. met sandy n walk ard in jurong point before sendin her hm..

lin high lighted her hair 2day.. erm.. no comments.. the pics will do the tokin.. ..

it reli wasnt as bad as i had mention.. erm.. but it cld b beta i guess.. ..

on the way back we took sum pic on random.. ..

eddy was wif us 2day.. an obedience boy.. onli tat i dono hw to play wif kids.. dey r always so energetic while my batt ran out too fast compared to theirs.. promised him for a movie yet we din fulfill our promise nor mark our words.. he seems sad.. reli, he does.. thou tats the case, he still obey wat lin says abt watchin it other day, not a single noise was made.. he likes tokin to mi.. well, i'm his new frenz.. haas.. its a gd start.. i learnt alot of tins frm him.. lookin at him always make mi filled wif feelins.. .. i dono y.. ..

he almost got knock down by a car 2day.. phew~ i reli got a scared.. chiong to grab him.. i den understand hw difficult it was to b a sister.. the worries, fear n everitin.. .. i cant imagine if he reli got knock down by a car.. .. hw wld lin react.. i can feel the way she feels the min eddy escape frm my grab.. tat moment, my heart almost stop poundin.. i m not his sis yet i can chiong to save him n worry for him.. wat more abt lin?..

i always tell eddy to b greatful to lin.. she's reli noble.. where on earth can find such gd sis like her.. i wish to haf one too, but too bad, i don.. ..

all mixed feelins came abt 2day.. anger, sadness, warmth, vex, excitment.. .. all in all.. .. perhaps i reli nid sumone to tok to rite nw.. but still, my fone went slient.. .. ..

Written @ 5:32 AM

tins changed since the day i came back.. .. alot of major changes.. .. hw m i suppose to adapt it.. .. tell mi wat to do.. ..

Written @ 3:59 PM

asked mummy for baptism jus nw.. .. but got rejected by her.. .. haiz.. .. she say 'don ask mi! i will NEVER sign!'.. .. =,( mus pester her till she allow.. EVERIDAY~

the day of leavin for thailand is drawin near.. feelin weird.. my first trip overseas seems shen li si bie to mi.. i'm gona miss everione, wonder if everione misses mi.. .. or.. their presents.. .. ..

2day will b the last entry i guess.. wen i return frm chalet, i will straight away grab my luggage n leave for airport le.. nw waitin for liang.. he cumin to fetch mi n will b gg chalet 2gether.. sumone playin MIA again.. so irresponsible.. .. haiz..

i'm feelin a little lethargic.. a little tired.. a little worn out.. but life still goes on.. ..

Written @ 7:24 AM

guess dis is gg to b a real long entry.. ..

argh.. the first tin i eva wana do aft 3 days in chalet was to stretch my hands n reach for my computer keyboard.. lolx~

these few days were fruitful n enjoyable, the outreach wld not b successful without the help n participation of everi single party.. wif the christmas mood n ambience, foods, gifts, deco were all ready, frenz r here wif us too.. jus so wonderful.. ..

First Day:
first nite was fun as more ppl turned up on tat day.. play 'heart attack' usin poker cards, so fun.. plz.. nv fight wif mui, she's oreli on the throne of the 'lousy player'.. her presence broke the cold, borin n tensed atmosphere, hence, she plays an impt role~ she's jus so funi at times.. haas~

sandy's clothes was cute!!! wif the 2 strips in front of her.. tat reminds mi of.. .. .. .. er hem.. wakaka!!! i guess onli yang, mui, liang n sandy noe wat i'm tinkin abt rite nw.. lolx.. .. shhhh~

lin woke up wif her hair all messy.. gosh.. looks horrible.. but.. i've seen b4~ haha! hw can a person look so diff b4 n aft groomin demself n wif make up on??? lin does.. .. look at the 'jus-wake-up' her, compare wif the 'gg-out-soon' her, man.. so diff.. .. frankly speakin, she looks gd la.. haas.. eddie came too.. he's humourous.. (but i cant get his humour at times) lolx.. taught him a few pose of the Doha body buildin tingy, man.. he mastered it! haas!!! lin doted him alot alot alot.. i see it, i sense it, i feel it.. .. i don haf a younger bro, lookin at the way she treats eddie, it jus seems so warmth.. ..

wenting applied the pimple cream b4 she slps.. .. erm.. its reli scary.. her face was so whitish.. thx God she stayed in the chalet, if she happens to walk out, others will tink tat lunar 7 mth has not ended yet.. .. her konyaku was nice.. thx for the effort ting!

bro n kun were noble.. dey reli were.. all the sisters were left slpin in the air-conditioned rm while the both of dem slp outside the chalet on the hard dirty ground, moreover wif mosquitoes' kisses all over.. aplaus to dem! *clap clap*

liang had mi spects for christmas.. it cost a bomb yet liang jus gave it all.. luv him lots lots lots~

got another present in the chalet.. its frm yong xiang.. the first shock was wen he handed the persent to mi.. i was playin guitar half way wen he walk here, squartted down n came near wif his present in hands sayin in a beri low tone 'merry chirstmas.. ..' .. stunned.. =.=" haas.. lookin at him, n tat awkward scene frozed for secs.. 'erm.. .. er.. orh.. .. h.. a.. a.. s.. .. thx u.. ..' was too lost to even noe wat to say to him nor wat to react.. n guess wat.. din mean to b bad, but i reli tot it was those usual gifts like cups, keychains, piggy coin bank, soveniers etc (our cell always bero cheapo de ma~).. nah.. din intend to open the present, but bro call mi to wen we abt to check out of the chalet, did as he said.. n here cums the 2nd shock.. .. it's a.. .. it's a.. .. a.. .. a PINK BABY G WATCH!!! BAM~ holdin on to the watch, totally 'stoi', while the rest went 'WAAAAAAHHH... ...' erm.. tot he bought presents for everione, but jas said tat he onli bought ONE present, n tat onli present was given to mi.. felt rather honoured n thxful.. haiz.. tink u guys noe wat is up nxt.. dey pullin red string again.. .. +.+"

Second Day:
woke up wif puffy eyes, still minger abt in my lala land wen the rest started preparin to go jurong west.. haas.. bathed, changed into a beta outfit for svc, but.. lie back on the bed zZz again.. lolx~

went svc, was reli reli tired thus felt aslp thruout the entire sermon.. cant help but pst kong repeated his peachin ma.. .. kees~ *pai seh* met up wif brendon.. was chattin away wif him outside the artise rm wen he suggested to go into the rm.. i went.. wow.. pst sidney, alison, pst aries, sandy, kc, all of dem were there! took foto wif almost all of dem.. haas.. so hapi~ wakaka!~ brendon's voice was nice.. tot it suppose to b rough n in deep tone, no, not at all.. its reli nice.. .. standin so close to all the artise n pastors makin mi feels reli great.. heart was pumpin real fast at tat point of time yet it was a memorable moment.. =)

back frm svc to chalet, haas.. all of us were happily watchin tv wen.. .. .. its time to celebrate KIM LIANG'S BDAE!!! weee!!!~ made a guitar usin the candles.. so romantic.. hey.. it was my hard work ok~ lolx~ will b flyin off in 3 days time, thou cannot celebrate wif u, but once again, wana wish u a HAPI BDAE my beluved boy!!!

lazy to walk to mac, i was told by bro tat the food centre was nearer hence decided to head to food centre instead.. THX EH BRO.. haas.. it was long long long long journey to the food centre lor.. but on the way there n back frm there to chalet, sandy, liang n i was talkin n playin non stop.. haas.. the journey seems short den.. lolx~

slept 2gether wif sandy n liang.. 3 of us squeeze in a bed.. eddie was like askin mi 'u all slp 2gether like tat will haf baby de!!!' =.= i asked him 'hu teach u de.. ..' his reply was ' i watch TV one!!!' reli THX GOD for the technology advance.. nw a days kids learn so fast.. .. cant help but feel like luffin at tat moment.. ..

Third Day:
woke up, liang gone, lin gone, everione gone.. haas.. clear up the place, gettin ready to go.. alot of tins to pack leh.. my bag doesnt seems to b enuf to stuff all the tins in.. haas.. nth much 2day.. ze drove us back one by one..

Conclusion:
jus a few days of interaction, we got back all the bonds btwn mems n mems, steppin into a whole new lvl of frenzship.. its cool~ luv luv!!!

all in all, thx bro for makin all these happen the min he decided on havin the chalet.. .. thx bro!!!

there r bad feelin as well.. was rather affected by a remarks given.. but its ok.. i'm still tinkin the way of workin on it..

'Doin God's work, NO complain!'

Written @ 6:48 AM

tins had been so packed so pack.. everitin doesnt seems to go smoothly.. ppl hu r in charge of dis n tat have no sense of urgency at all.. its gettin onto my nerve.. its drivin mi crazy!!! NO complain of doin God's work.. but.. ARGH!!!

mummy called.. mainly to find tins to scold.. scold scold scold n hung up my call.. fine.. let her b.. old ppl r like dis.. she wan digital cam, luggage bag.. plz la.. u wan den haf de meh?! ask mi borrow frm my frenz.. i cant b bothered man.. she say she doesnt wan to borrow frm uncle, ltr qian ren qing.. HAA!! wat a joke! adult will care abt wian ren qing, den call mi borrow frm my frenz wun qian ren qing la???!!! tell her my hp n kor hp pixel is gd, use our hp take can le.. she nag here nag here, xian qi dis xian qi tat.. borrow herself la! i don gif a damn.. so many days b4 don wana ask mi, tml i gg chalet le den call mi borrow.. try to b funi.. ..

everione finds a prob of mi handlin n settlin tins.. den y is everione cumin to mi last min, callin mi to help in resolvin tins??!! for GOODNESS sake, I DO IT MY WAY.. .. tat applies the same for chalet tins.. din listen to a single word frm ze, cuz its all UTTER RUBBISH.. din ask for ani money frm him either, i settle the money issue wif mui myself.. for all of u guys info, mui fork out her OWN MONEY for mi to buy food, wen u guys r eatin the food, plz THX her!!!

for those tat did not even offer a little bit of help, i pray wif all my heart tat God's lightnin n fire come n strike upon u rite nw.. those wif exams, understandable.. those without, REPENT n u beta pray u'll survive thru God's punishment.. God doesnt like excuses, so SAVE all of dem!

Written @ 10:02 PM

had a joyous moment wif my little boy.. .. let mi introduce, his name is Jia Gen, primary 5 dis yr, turnin primary 6 soon, studyin in tao nan primary n CCA was badminton, chinese chess, english chess, chinese ochestra, bball bla bla bla.. =.=" so many.. teachin him was my biggest nitemare.. he was jus so lethargic, so restless.. he hated tuition totally yet no choc n swts were gd enuf to coax him.. .. he wanted sumtin which i cldnt gif.. .. COMPUTER.. .. erm.. erm.. cant help it leh.. .. he doesnt seems to pay attention at all.. dis min walk abt, tat min lie on bed while i was markin his work.. to make him listens to mi, i will say 'i write in the notebk hor~' he will guai guai obey.. wat so amazin abt the note bk? i was given a notebk by his mum, wateva i had taught, wateva he's weak in, wateva we had been done, all goes into the notebk.. homework too.. weneva homework tat was given, i wrote it all down, so tat his mum will noe.. haas.. jus imagine is i write 'he is restless n mischevious today.' BAMM~ he sure kena scold de..

teachin him alone make mi realised hw much i m in lackin behind others.. nw a days pri sch works r so chim.. goto carry a dictionary wif mi in order to teach him.. he is kind of obdience, yet a little moron to mi.. hw dare he!!! he ask mi hw much i got for my PSLE!!! wat the.. .. =.=" din wan to tell him the exact aggregate, yet there he was 'y cannot tell mi..' .. fine.. told him 200 plus minus.. there he goes again 'den is 200 plus or 200 minus?' argh!!!~ he always likes to pull my sttention away so tat he don haf to do the work given by mi to him.. NO WAY!!!~ he ask mi 'u came 15mins earlier rite?' erm.. i ansed 'ya..' he added 'so u shld let mi off 15 mins earlier!' kids r hard to handle nw a days.. .. i told him 'no ar.. i'm sure ur mum will b more den hapi to see mi xtend the time without chargin her a single cent!'.. he sian ji bua upon hearin tat.. lolx~

'An elderly man was ______ dead near a HDB playground.. ..' tats the question in the bk.. fill in the blanks.. plz.. even my pri 1 cousin oso noe is 'FOUND', yet jia gen told mi 'its WANTED!!!' .. nearly got a heart attack n fell of my chair.. aft all its fun teachin him.. at least he reli do wat is given.. he luvs askin questions.. tat causes headache ok~ haiz.. .. will see him on sun.. i was xicited! but he doesnt like to see mi.. seein mi means.. .. TUITION! haas.. ..

Written @ 5:10 PM

had been a borin day today.. din go aniwhere but to stay at hm for the completin of the shirts.. i'm reli worn out due to dis project.. i told bro tat if i cldnt finish the shirts on time, i shan't go for the chalet den.. .. i was rather stress.. so much work to b done.. no matter hw much effort i put in, the end-of-day result seems so little.. .. was kind of disheartened wen liang came into rescued.. he travelled to PS n got mi the paint tat i wanted, proceed to my place n help mi wif my shirts.. i went thru wif him abt wat is needed to b done, so on n so for.. he did a pretty gd job! wif his help, we completed all the logos n 3 shirts! tats ALOT ok.. .. i reli nided help.. hu can offer a helpin hand? haiz.. ..

appreciate liang lots lots lots.. he stayed till 12 plus.. aww.. tats so late can? other den him, hu will? tats y i luv him so much.. wakaka!~ thou he's abit slow, but he's reli a great help to mi.. without him, guess i cld onli finish 1 shirt 2day.. mayb tml we'll finish more? b4 fri.. yes, we can de!!!

'God, gif mi the strength to go thru dis tought period.. not onli toward my project, but oso everitin tat i have encounter.. help mi thru, enable mi to finish my project on time wif ur guidence.. .. .. i luv u Lord.. ..'

Written @ 2:14 PM

bro woke mi up dis mornin.. see.. knew sumone will wake mi up de.. ..

met sandy for dinner.. met at 5 but parted at onli 10 plus.. we jus tok n tok, share n share.. she sent mi hm since she was takin a cab.. yup.. tats my day..

guess i'm fallin ill soon.. ..

Written @ 5:53 PM

havent been bloggin regularly recently.. its far too tough to put it in words abt wat i had gone thru, hence, i choose not to reveal a single tin..

ate lots of gd food dis wk.. thx to sandy for her treat in sakae.. i ate up a total of $86.85.. beri bu ke qi hor? she say go ahead de ma.. .. =/ fulfilled liang's wish as well.. his long yearnin thai express.. ..

thx joanne for buyin mi tat toy.. i luv it lots.. weneva i'm feelin low, i'll gif it a pull, sumhw.. .. it jus make mi smile.. .. =)

had been hospitalized for a few days.. the surgent was gd, he healed mi.. he minimized the pain durin the operation n indeed i felt beta.. the head nurse was the best, he visited mi everi nw n den to check on mi n gave mi the aquired medications.. thou the wound is still there, but guess my bandages cld b removed soon.. i'm recuperatin.. ..

came back frm hospital, goto rush alvin's shirt.. nw add on to 3 more shrits.. i reli cldnt finish in time.. had been rushin day n nite for it.. 'God, help mi.. ..'

mui's decernment was fantastic.. she knew tat sumtin is happenin to mi without even me tellin her anitin.. the amazin part was, she knew exactly wen such feelins started.. .. her msg came in written 'hope u r feelin beta today..'.. appreciated it lots.. thx mui..~

went to watch movie wif liang jus nw.. 'cinderella'.. wat a swt movie name.. BUT! it was a horror movie.. gross n bloody.. if u guys haf a weak heart, plz DON watch it.. oh ya.. my deathnote 2 is cumin!!! dec the 28th.. but.. i oreli knew the story line thru comics, so.. erm.. watch oso no kick.. but for sure i'm gg to watch it, my L!!!

i'm so bz.. my schedule for the wk..
Mon: finish up the 11 shirts
Tue: prayer meetin at YMCA wif pst aries
Wed: tuition
Thur: Appointment wif wenting, liang n sandy
Fri: Cell Chalet
Sat: Cell Chalet & svc
Sun: Cell Chalet
Mon: Fren's Chalet
Tue: Frenz's Chalet
Wed: Flyin off to Thailand
Thur-Sun: In Thailand
Mon: Christmas svc

haiz.. cld hardly breathe due to all these on cumin events.. .. but its ok.. keep on keepin on!

woke up by sandy ytd, woke up by lin today.. hu is gg to wake mi up tml? lolx.. haas.. not angry at all la.. all along had been tryin to control my temper, but ppl r climbin over mi.. .. *simmer*~ God does sees the effort in us..

the equation is very simple.. obey + apply = a successor in life God can onli use us if we r willin n humble.. i wan to b one of those.. summissive, accountable n teachable.. it takes time.. the journey is way too long.. i can always learn slowly.. slowly but surely..

the horrible tin is not tat i admit i'm sad wen others ask, it was more horrendous wen i ans 'i'm ok' yet i was down.. if i remains quiet, i'm perfectly fine.. not wen i smile.. oh plz.. wat m i doin.. ..

bad times as such.. but here i m, still rejoicin.. *smile*

Written @ 5:47 PM

greatly affected by certain news.. .. i kept quiet thruout the entire cell.. .. don wish to cry at all but wen it cums to the ministerin part, tears jus roll down uncontrolably.. wanted to stop, but guess the tears droplet was far to heavy for it to hold ani longer.. .. it falls.. .. the grief was there n i'm all so wounded.. each time wen i try to pick myself up, ppl will b there to step mi down.. .. not ani others but our own mems.. don try to put up a front infront of mi will u? don hug mi animore in the future!!! i felt dirtied by u!

first time lin hugged mi so titely.. warmth is the rite word to use.. she slapped mi.. was pain, yet all numb.. she don understand y i cried.. i don understand it too.. .. din look into her eyes, by doin so will make mi weep even longer.. .. all i cld say is tat 'i'm hurt..'

wen everione stop their tears, i was still sobbin in slience.. the spirit in mi had fractured.. so broken.. i nid medications, bandanges, luvs n cares..

i din falsehood myself.. but God had touches mi durin cell.. he took a large portion of the hurt away wif Him.. tryin to put on a smile wen others ask if i'm ok, but guess i sounded n looked fake.. ..

hw long will it take for all hurts to go away again.. hw long do i nid to stand on my feet again.. .. i'm oreli learnin as i'm walkin the dis journey.. cant u guys jus gif mi a chance.. ..? don do dis to mi.. .. .. don.. ..

Written @ 7:44 PM

no matter hw strong i acted, hw cold i'm tryin to b, hw bo chap i m, the fact is.. i missed her.. .. was readin thru all her testi to mi.. tears bein to flow.. we've been thru so much.. so much so much.. y mus u end everitin like tat.. .. u promised to brave the storm wif mi, stood by mi.. dint u say tat promises r meant to b kept??!! where r u.. u din fulfill dem at all.. .. u hurt mi.. u hurt liang.. u hurt us too much.. .. thou i'm angry, i truely hated u.. my heart had not been close.. .. it has always been open till the very day u return.. .. wen the day u're back, i will gif u a slap wif tears n den hug u titely.. .. forgive mi.. .. i luv u too much to see u cont wif wat u r nw.. .. i'm bleedin terribly wif the wound u created.. .. u r dead.. dead in my eyes.. for ur pride kills.. its all the rememberance u left mi made mi upset.. .. y din u take all memories wif u.. i don wan ani.. ..

let mi hug u again.. let mi feel u again.. let mi hear u again.. let mi luv u wif all i can.. .. .. come back will u.. .. .. *sob~*

Written @ 4:25 PM

went ICA buildin wif mummy.. erm.. long long long long Q.. sassy gals n lady like us haf no paitience at all.. went beach rd to eat while waitin for our turn.. erm.. hu noes wen we're back, the num had oreli passed.. =.="

headed to bedok for alvin's shirt.. praise the Lord! i got all the sizes n the num tat he wanted!!! i can start drawin le!!! was still worried tat i cldnt manage to get the shirts, but the prob is solve nw!!!

bro called, ask if i wld wan to attend bs crash course which is at 2-5.. erm with pst aries.. was rather packed today, moreover, i'm alone.. sandy cannot go, juliet nv pick up my call, honey got sch, mingwei n yuzhi got exams.. i mean.. thou reluctant, yet i went despite noein i wld b all alone.. but thx God, the crash course was gd! (thou the session was abit long..) wee!!! pst aries promised tat he will bug chorus board for mi!!! wif his help, i'm sure tat i can serve soon!! hip hip huray!!! had a revelation today.. 'the outer reflects on the inner..' wow.. BANG~ revelational.. .. learned hw to pray beta today oso.. bs wif pst aries is fun! can gain alot of knowledge oso! yea~

back frm concert.. wow.. seems to b gather to mi.. alvin, teng feng, tiff, benson, jiemin etc were all here! most of us came wif 1 purpose, tat is to support liang..

the concert was pretty.. erm.. borin? not too sure either.. missed the first half of it.. haas.. wen the concert was abt to end, mei yee shouted 'encore!'.. but her voice was too soft to project into the ears of fahmi.. well.. goto gif her a helpin 'voice' den.. lookin at my mates, i said 'guys, wen i count to 3, everione shout ENCORE ok?! 1, 2, 3!!! EENNCCOORREE!!!! !!! !!!' haas.. our voices stormed the entire hall.. lolx~ like a strike down lightenin effect.. fahmi took over the mic, apologise for not havin encore pcs, but he actuali played another song for us.. still not bad la.. haas.. at least he bothered.. wakaka!~

had supper wif all of dem.. haas.. chit chattin away.. took a num of fotos 2day too! here it goes!!!

wat r we doin? erm.. n wif tat xtra tiff behind.. =.="

okok~ had enuf of her complain.. decided to put her into the picture as well.. ..

alvin n i! he had changed so much.. aww.. gettin more n more handsome nw.. haas..

buddies!!!

here cums the seniors~ lolx!~

told u guys tat i'm a drummer oreli.. i reli am ok~

fav pic for today!!!

kk.. beri tired le.. tml still goto start work on alvin's shirts n honey's shoes.. hope can finish everitin in time.. wana slp liao.. bye bye..

Written @ 4:11 PM

had a fully packed day.. went to bedok inter to buy concession n buy alvin's shirts at giordano, but out of stock.. took bus to bedok south for honey's shoes, tot will haf sandy's one as well, hu noes don haf.. haiz.. took bus back to bedok inter again to buy sandy's shoes.. ..

aft which took bus num 7 to PS for the acrylic n fabric paint.. haiz.. dis one don haf, tat one don haf, everitin oso don haf.. the usual acrylic paint left onli 1 pkt, but i nid 2.. the person say tat the stock will onli cums in in ard 1 mths time.. =.=" haiz.. bought ala-cart bottles instead which cost mi a bomb.. PS's giordiano oso don haf the shirt.. wat the..

try out raffles place's giordano.. sianz.. worse still.. i tink raffles left wif the least colours.. no choice but to head to great world to find.. argh.. in the end great world oso don haf.. piang.. so pek cek.. don intend to search ani further.. jus loiter there till lin dismiss.. moreover, oso nid to get the body butter frm her.. ya.. while waitin for her, i kena stalk by ppl.. yes.. AGAIN.. y m i always kena stalk de!!??! stupid.. forget it..

took dis while waitin for her.. if wire n bulbs abv mi happen to drop, trust mi.. i will cry..

was borin so took a little foto on the bus back wif lin..

her watch n my watch.. wif the vampire marks.. lolx~

her nail n my nail.. erm.. its time to cut my nail.. ..

her rubber band n my ring.. the ring of the ring.. wakakaka!~

i'm so tired.. made is mistake.. it wasnt today tat i gona go ICA buildin wif mummy, it was tml.. haiz.. so tml goto force myself up early in the mornin at ard 6.. sianz..

k la.. goto draw a sketch for honey's shoes, aft which nida slp liao.. wan an everibody~

Written @ 1:05 PM

went for prayer meetin ytd.. hmm.. even bro realised tat i had disappeared for ages wen it cums to prayer meetin.. lolx~ continuously, we prayed for ard 15 mins.. waa.. it was like nv before tat i've to pray in tongues for tat long.. i'm amazed tat my stamina cld go tat far..

went IT fair as ze wanted to get a new mp3.. saw wen jun, she was one of the promoter there.. lolx.. even ze find her pretty.. indeed, she is.. erm.. but tats besides the story.. ze bought a mp4 tat cost $109.. erm.. its abit ex to mi, but ze tinks its cheap cuz its 1G.. so.. .. fine.. cheap lor.. ..

ze was drivin us ard, sent wenting to her ah ma's hse n hence we landed up at tamp.. since was ard tamp area, i suggested to go mummy there eat.. ate western food.. hmm.. not bad, the food was rather tasty.. sandy din wan to go hm tat early, tot of playin daytona, but east coast doesnt haf tat.. in the end we end up playin bowlin.. haiz.. so much of deprove.. frm 129 tat day, my score fell to 69 ytd.. see.. wat a disgrace.. thou is lousy, but i still win ze.. lolx!~

chat wif yang ytd nite.. lolx.. he told mi sumtin funi, which i reli tink it sounded funi.. hahaha!!! but he say suppose to b a secret.. so.. shhh~ goto keep my words..

haiz.. the chalet tin was so unorganized.. but well.. wen is there a time whereby cg stuff r beri organize? haas (jus tryin to b positive).. .. i'm reli beri pek cek.. was informin other, checkin out the dates, tryin to compromise n accomodate with the rest, yet everione sounded so nasty.. .. bro buggin ze, ze buggin mi, both of dem kept callin mi.. .. bro din bk the chalet, in the end i mus try to find one chalet for him n still goto inform the rest abt it.. everitin seems so messy.. wanted to flare, but by havin a gd attitude, it helps in alot of areas.. so.. jus help bro n ze settle the tin lo.. i guess all along i've complain too much le, its time tat all complains cum to an end..

met liang to haf dinner.. discuss abt the chalet tins as well.. he's beri tired, discuss half way onli den he wanted to go hm le.. haiz..

suppose to meet yang, but i haf far to many tins to do.. aft all, he jus wan mi to accompany him for tuition wif wenting.. =.=" told him my ez link no money, he say he take bus till my hse den walk together to inter.. told him i reli don wana go, he still ask if i haf money to eat, tellin mi tat he has money today, hintin if i wanted him to cum over to find mi.. tat day still say wana sponsor mi $100 for my fone.. last sat feed mi eat loti cake summore.. so scary~ y is he treatin mi so nice recently ar? beri scary leh.. haas.. nvm.. i tink too much..

ahh.. finally chalet tins r almost settled.. can set my heart at ease le.. nw goto work on teng's shirt.. goto finish within one and a half wk.. no time no time no time.. everitin is like so pack.. argh!~ i nid TIME!!!

waa.. i kena stalk by a guy in church sia.. haiz.. long story.. i oso dono him.. frm sharmine's cell.. don ask mi ok!~ i jus got stalked but nth else.. he's not gd lookin, but not tat bad either.. wakaka!!! ooi!!! eh hem..

k la.. 2day din go aniwhere, so nth much to blog.. tats all for 2day..

Written @ 3:42 PM

i gave my full attention for the sermon today.. wen was the last time tat i'm so attentive? erm.. lost count.. cant rem.. wana share wif u guys wat was preached 2day..

pst long touched on abt dreams n vision? 'Nothin worth doin is eva easy'.. wat a sentence frm him.. true enuf, we will nv reach a great destiny without achievin tins in our life.. as long as it's a vision frm God, it's always achievable.. we tend to wait for the rite timin and perfect condition before we start to take a little step of faith in steppin out of our comfort zone. n tats wen he said 'do not pass ard but make everiday counts'..

the power of one.. wen we r merge n form wif God, we created the majority.. we shld always
(1) start where we are
(2) Use wat we haf
-dreams
-talents
-education
-prayer
(3) Do wat we can

Times n times again, we focus so much on wat we doesnt haf n did not pay attention to wat we oreli had..

'Enthusiasm' is define as 'the state of exuberant tat all tins seem impossible'. Enthusiasm motivates n empowered us.. the word 'Enthusiasm' is a christian word! y? cuz its was suppose to b a word frm bible tat says 'Entheos', which oso means 'In God'..

haas.. sumtin sounded logical frm pst kong.. he said 'beta trust n obey n fail den not obeyin at all..' lolx.. he added 'trust n obey! there's no other way..' hahaha..

prayer is our weapon.. if we r a worshipper in prayer, we r a worshipper in spirit n in truth. but there again, worship is not our highest callin..

600: 1 odds.. hu will still stand firm for God? wen u r checkin out the ans frm others, God is checkin out the ans frm ur heart.. ..

Written @ 5:41 AM

jus as i predicted tat the news tat is gg to b announce ytd nite durin cell aint of ani gd, i was tryin to enjoy myself for the mornin n afternoon.. lin said 'u very qian bian 2day leh!' erm.. ya.. i noe.. ..

met lin up n headed church office as bro nided some help.. one big huge pile of paper was given to us, we mainly haf to mark the test papers of diff bible studies.. the markin was fast, but keyin n recordin down the marks in computer took us a little while to complete.. bro left, leavin the both of us at his desk.. lin n i wasnt too affected abt it, yet we work hand in hand 2gether n finished up the task within an hrs.. went to haf lunch outside carrefour, and rush back to tp as lin goto b in sch for her little IT open hse.. coincidentally, yang called mi up to check for my location (each time he did tat, it shows tat he wana meet mi), told him tat i wld b sendin lin to sch, n i'll meetin him in sch.. wen i reached, i gave him a call, tellin him tat i was outside his sch at the bus stop, guess wat he said? 'who call u meet at bus stop de??? i'm at safra leh!!! told u to meet at safra le ma!!' erm.. perhaps i reli did heard wrongly.. no choice but to cross over the road n wait for bus 15.. the bus took decades to come and i reli mean it.. it's jus sooooo LONG.. cut the story short, met yang at the billard snookerium..

was loiterin abt wif yang till lin dismiss.. yang bless mi wif bubble tea! i got myself red ruby n he got choc mint for himself.. cool~

dis is my red ruby.. see.. the colour is so nice.. so swt.. *pinkish~*

saw a stupid cute cat beside the bubble tea store, slpin wif it's tongue stickin out.. lolx.. it's a cat, not a dog u noe? tat caught my attention, hence decided to take a pic of it n show u guys.. had it a zoom thus wasnt tat clear enuf.. plz bear wif it..

so funi rite?! haas.. tats the cat.. so afraid i mite woke the cat up.. tippin my toes as i take the foto..

yang n i walk n play n tok, havin the cold coolin bubble tea in our hands.. so bliss~ lolx.. erm.. rem the 'shootin' game we used to play usin the pearl frm the bubble tea? haha.. we played tat ytd usin my red ruby n hid pearl..

his pearl and y red ruby.. haas.. one so big? one so small.. lolx!~

fetched lin n took bus 23 to bro hse.. on the way there, we pass by a buildin, had seen dis buildin numerous times yet not noein wat isit abt.. the construction of it was kind of special n unique.. it's jus NICE..

hey guys, i din steal dis foto online, i took it myself! in spore but not overseas!!!

lin's bag was heavy as usual, erm.. tryin to bully mi to carrry her bag for her.. lolx~ nah.. tat sounded so bad of her.. i volounteered myself ok? but indeed, i seems like an idiot wif her bag.. don believe? look down!

erm.. tats me.. its looks weird wif tat bag on mi.. n i look fat!!! who's the cameraman???!!!!

cell timin had changed frm 7.30 to 8, went to had dinner at the food center near bro's hse instead while waitin for the rest to cum.. i'm not the onli one tat is high ok~ lin too.. haas.. tellin mi tat nxt time my hudband mus call mi HONEY.. den i mus call him MUSTARD.. (honey mustard).. =.=" nah.. i said tat wanted my husband to call mi pepper.. n he will b called roni! lin doesnt get it, neither yang did, both stare at mi wif a blank look.. haiz.. simple.. PEPPERONI!!!.. the both of dem beri slow leh.. lin added tat if the husband name jack, the son mus call jackSON.. was tellin her tat i wanted my husband to haf the name of eric.. she was a little slow before she caught wat i mean.. my son will name ERICSSON!!! wakaka!!!

the rext of dem came.. ting bless mi wif my fav bundung!!! aww.. so swt.. (not her, but my bundung~) lolx.. ting is nice ok? haas.. reli thx alot..

waa.. wat a big cup of bundung.. n wat is lin doin? tryin to hide herself behind tat small little plactic bag.. =.="

cell got so many ppl.. wanted to share testimony but in the end bro strike mi off due to time constrain.. a little sad.. but its ok.. aft all it had been a long time since our cell was attended by a large num of ppl.. so.. ya.. ..

the news bro let out wasnt reli tat fantastic to mi.. not abt his decision, but abt hu my helpers r gona b.. it will seems a livin hell to mi frm nw on.. i'm jus tryin to b TEACHABLE.. tryin my best to understand the way bro arrange tins.. but bein TEACHABLE doesnt mean bein accountable.. will summit to bro instead of the both of dem.. bro talked to mi ytd nite n i told him abt hw i feel.. bro is my helper frm nw on? he said tat if i don like the two of dem to do follow up, he will do it instead.. i was like 'waaa...'.. it doesnt proof nor show anitin than mi bein a 'special case' mem tat nids xtra tender luvin care.. to dem, i'm still as promatic, as attitude.. ..

ze brought us to swensen to haf our supper.. hw i wish tat my helper is him.. he's jus so nice n so understandin.. always drives us ard n send hm hm aft supper.. most of the time, supper was paid by him.. goto treat him back sumday as promised..

not my car, but ze's.. champiagn gold toyota.. i simply luv dis car..

took dis while Q'in for swensen.. don like dis foto, but sinces she likes it, den.. i shall post it up..

my sub nick in msn written 'abundence flows out of abundence'.. wow.. miracle came aft i wrote tat.. Alvin wanted mi to design shirts! 12 of it in total costin $18 each.. i will reli earn alot! n Wetson approached mi sayin tat he nided talented designers n bein to ask abt my online buzz.. he says tat he has a way to make us earn more money.. gosh.. the money tat is flowin in is beyond my imaginations!!! argh!!! Praise the Lord!!!

havin svc ltr.. the word 'reluctant' is all i can use n tink of.. spare mi.. .. *lettin our a deep breath*

Written @ 4:40 AM

was chattin away wif chris.. he was makin remarks abt bro not lettin mi to go dora's party.. he said 'ur cgl is unreasonable! even God gave man freewill, y isnt ur cgl givin u tat? i made the rite choice by backslidin, church is so controllin!!!' i don like the way he said abt bro, but he made a point abt sayin bein a christian is filled wif restrictions n constrains.. i jus wanted to support dora.. i don intend to club there.. but since i bother to ask bro abt it n his ans is NO, there's no means for mi to argue or even negociate wif him.. his words r final to mi.. times n again he said tat we r not bein accountable, dis time round i did account myself to him, but it was rather a regretful step i've made.. its ok.. i jus wana b TEACHABLE n OBEDIENCE.. .. don go den don go.. it wun kills..

everitin doesnt seems to b rite.. perhaps the centre of my life wasnt Him animore.. was feelin super low ytd, throwin n slammin tins ard to vent my anger wen wenting call.. haven even scold her.. told her not to run away frm hm so many times, dono hw to listen de leh.. say wana cum my place stay, i say ok liao den she hang up my call.. abit abit onli wana run away frm hm.. dono the mother will worry de ar.. sigh.. .. onli God changes ones' tinkin.. i cant.. hu will listen to mi? no one does.. ..

receive a call dis mornin.. haf a news to share.. but its not the time yet.. fri ba.. ya.. will announce on fri.. it sounded absurd n unbelievable.. i cldnt accept it either.. ya.. guys, prepare ur heart to receive the news.. ..

i got all worn out, all dried out.. all i told myself was ' i need an encounter wif Him..' but i cld feel Him no more.. no more.. my spiritual senses got all shut.. i was worried abt buildin fund.. i'm so afraid tat i cldnt fulfill dis yr.. money money.. so many tins require money.. i was makin a din ytd nite.. whinin n whinin.. liang told mi 'papa our alot of money u noe? He's our provision, trust tat He will provide u'.. at tat moment, i was tinkin 'piang.. hu dono..' but my ans to him was 'yes, He got alot of money, but He hapi hapi den throw den ma..' liang added 'He hapi anot oso will throw down de..' erm.. sounded like a childish conversation.. but it AINT ok~ went to bed carryin a burdened heart.. but God reli doesnt short change us.. reli.. He showed Himself up umpteen times weneva i yearn to feel n see Him most.. .. many ppl call mi to leave Him.. but i noe i cant afford to.. let mi dwell in His presence.. 'God, don go.. ..'

'into ur hands.. i commit again.. wif all i m.. for u Lord.. ..'