Had been a busy day for me. U guys must be thinking what exactly am i busy with, haas.. I had have been busy tidying my room for the coming of Yanglin and Zhiyang. Haas.. Guess my parents gona be in real joy to see my room in such a clean state. Lolx~

Yang just left, Lin is sleeping now. Where as for me? As usual, online.. Life is getting boring and meaningless.. ..

Due to Pastor Ulf Ekman seminar, cell group got cancelled this week. Means friday i'm gona be super free. On the other hand, which also means that i will be rotting at home. Yang wana bring me for snooker, but somehow or rather, i just don't have the kick and urge to play.

Being a middle-man and a messager aint easy.

No idea what to blog, mind is super blank now..

Tuition went pretty well. Bought sweets for Celine, she revealed that smile which i had never seen before on her face. She had certainly made improvement, she is now learning faster than what i expect. Everything went on smoothly, enjoyed more in teaching her.

Taiwan artist Xu Wei Lun had passed away today. She was only in her early twenties. That mini coopper of hers was badly damaged and crashed after the accident, pieces of glass could be seen everywhere. She was a talented artist, she mastered piano, guitar and harp. Besides that, she was a soft and gentle girl, let alone, she was pretty, beauteous, lovely and was definitely a dreamboat to the guys out there. The impact of the accident had caused inner bleeding in her, even if she would survive through it, her face would be annihilated. When she died, scars and cuts were all over her face. What a pity.. I have no idea why, but her death had created a mixed feelings in me.

Was chatting away with zhiyang yesterday night, touching on the topic of our purpose in life. Life sucks, that i can't deny.. But i always believe that we're call by Him for a purpose. I've yet to fulfill mine, thus i can go yet. Yang asked me 'what if we desired other things than what He want us to fulfill?' Well, my answer to him was 'than it mus be unclean thoughts that you are desiring..' Haas.. Frankly speaking, i do not desire for other things, or should i say, there's nothing for mi to desire about.. I've gave all my life to Him, i'm His.. I only do what was instructed but nothing else.

Xin bing hai xu xin yao yi, jie ling hai xu xi ling ren.. Who shall untie that knot.. ..?

Regardless what may comes by, i should always tell myself 'God still loves me..'. He really do. But currently, i'm too dry to feel his touch.. ..

Presevere on..~

Sorry guys, wow.. it had really been a long long time since i last upload photos here to entertain you guys.. After the long wait, here comes all the photos!!!

The pool session with Liang.. This is none other than ME!!!

This is.. .. Erm.. .. Him lor.. ..

The beautiful sceneries.. .. Wooo..~

While Queuing for prayer meeting, this is what we do.. .. And what's with William???

Ping and I seems abit more Normal.. .. (compared to William)

This is Pastor Sidney. He's cute.. Good in singing as well.. Cool~

That stupid faces.. Lolx!~

The Starbuck Chocolate Cream Chip that Liang bought for me..

I simply fell so much in love with this picture.. My Golden hair..

The Esprite advertisement.. Liang, you see it??? It's ESPRITE!!!

Our princess.. Haas.. Sandy and I..

Erm.. i shall stop here ba.. will upload more if i manage to steal the card reader from my bro.. Enjoy guys!

A peaceful day.

Having severe headache thus was lying on my sofa the minute i woke up till 9pm plus.

Watched 'The Dance Floor'. None of them actually caught my attention. They're lousy i can say, even the judges were kind of fed-up.

Chat with Per and William on phone, conference. Poor William, guess he can't catch what we're talking about. Per too, can't really understand the way William talks. Rather funny though..

Finally someone feels the way i feels. Different situation, but same feeling being felt. God always didn't want us to be alone.. ..

Everyone is touching on the topic about my diet now. I do eat ok~ Only not as much. Ate porridge for today. Yes. At least i'm eating!

Nothing much to blog. Stayed at home the entire day.

Revelation for today - None can ever replace another in one's heart.

Was deep in my sleep this morning when a nightmare occurs. It was definitely a horrifying one. Jumped out of my bed with cold sweat all over, couldn't help it but feared a little. Supposed to meet lin before service, nothing much, jus fellowship and go out together. The nightmare hindered me back, when i woke up, it was already 2 plus 3, thus missed the appointment with her.

Down with flu and sore throat. Look lethargic today and my eyes could hardly open during service. Despite being sick, i was far more than attentive. Being sick is never a good reason for not paying attention.

Hit sandy real hard oh her tooth. Well, i didn't do it deliberately. Wasn't aware that she was just behind me, i turned with the momentonous swing of my hand, yes.. I got her.. BINGO~ Felt rather guilty and apologetic, thank God she did not shed a single tear, or i will feel even worse.

Fellowship session was great. No one gave any suggestion of where to go hence i made the decision instead. Headed to Long John then. Surprisingly, everyone compromised! Crazy me and Weijing was busy telling jokes around, lame..~ It was COLD can~ But ultimately it turns out well, everbody was laughing. We succeeded. Every fellowship session seems important to me now. What if.. I mean what if, some of us are no longer in the same cell, things gona be different.. .. So different.. ..

Yup. truely, i wasn't feeling fine at all. Piles and stacks of loads fell so hard on me. Are you guys on the same track as me? Do u guys think what i think? I doubt so.. ..

So much so i hope bro will come to me and ask 'Esther, how are you? Do you have anything to tell me?' bla bla bla. If he does, with mucus and tears, i wanted to tell him whats in me.. But even till today, he didn't come forth to me.. ..

Thought it's going to be a memorable birthday i'm having this year. Everyone seems so busy, so occupied. Call everithing off ba. After all, its just another normal day. What makes me so special that others got to give up their workload just to celebrate for me? I'm nobody.. .. Eating ice cream under a stars-filled sky alone, i'm contented.

Talk about which, mummy bought a tub of ice cream. Cookies and cream. It has no way in escaping from me.

Ending off here. Chatting along with Liang now. He's at hang zhou using lappy.. aww.. so happy~ i missed him!

The dinner i had 5 mins ago were all out in the toilet bowl. Guys, plz don force me to eat.. I really don't feel like eating anything. Even if i were to stuff things inside my stomach, i will eventually vomit it out. It's terrible.. .. argh.. .. so please.. when i say i don't feel like eating, mark my words.. .. i really can't afford to eat anything.. .. thanks alot.. ..

Fellowship at vivo was kind of boring, but i don't deny that it was another chance of moving a step closer with the rest of the members.

Suppose to meet Per for shopping, but lin was feeling really lousy hence had no choice but to call off the shopping trip with Per to meet her instead. A thousand and a million apologies to Per.

Cell group going to multiply again, somewhere in march? Definitely it is a good news, but to me, it seems another way round. Despite being in the same cell group, lin and i already seldom have the chance to meet one another, same thing applies for liang. I can't imagine the days of us being in the different cell group then. I really have no idea what's gona happen next, but something for sure, many of us gona be separated. Times and again i tired to skip through the issue about the multiplication of cell, but still, that very day will come. Childish me.. yes, i am. Too emotional for all these. It doesn't shows my maturity at all, but reflects on how important my friends are to me.. .. *sob*~

Once again i say 'every smile i had made from every tear i shed'..

I thought i was strong as the way i always appeared, i wasn't though.. I'm just like any other girls- made of water.

Visions are getting blur, i'm getting more and more terrific. Could somebody just tame me plz.. ..

All along, friends was never important to me. It occurs to me that money and power were all that we need to survive in this weakest link society but times and again, circumstances n situations had proved me wrong.

Liang was the most commentable frenz tat i would like to touch on. He dropped that lousy philosophy i had in me. Life will not be as joyful and jubilant without a perky frenz like him. My attitude was lousy, indeed. But countless times, he takes it all. It wasnt abt enduring, but he did it all out of luv. The money he had spent on me all these years is enough to even buy a handphone, an addidas jacket, a pair of puma shoes, n perhaps there will be left over still. Gona be having a memorable n special birthday this year, Liang is booking a chalet for me. Upon knowin that i yearned so much over S.H.E and Jolin Tsai concert, he granted my wish without even me dropping any hint. Well, i don't even intended to.. the ticket wasnt for me alone, he himself will join me for it. I was all excited. Truely, i was. I reli appreciated all that he had done as a frenz, but there again, it wasnt abt the satisfaction of material wise that touches my heart, it was the sincerity of him that moved me.

Liang is flyin off tml.. was out with him today for his last minute shopping. It would be the first time tat Liang gona be away frm me.. Kind of missin him a little.. i don't fancy whatever gifts that he's going to bring back, only wish that he will be back soon.. ..

Was at bugis just now. Wore my bro's shirt out.. Guess wat? The most SUAY thing happened. I met him.. erm.. by God's grace, he did not even aware that i was wearing his shirt.. Praise the Lord! *evil laughter*

Per had became part of my life. As and when i'm online, the one that i would want to chat with the most was her. haas.. Somehow or rather, she understands my thoughts at times. She's always bright, cheerful and vivacious, opening conversation with her makes me feels at ease and comfortable. She jus unloaded certain weight in my heart. i'm going to fulfill my promised to her, our kbox, our jamming session, our guitar practice etc etc.. slowly, but surely..

For those that misconcepted that i'm attached or even in luv, just wana clarify, i'm not. I did not fall for anyone, nor was i admired by anybody. Don't try to tink rot plz.. Thanks alot..

Its going to be a packed day for me tml. Wonder if mei is meeting me.. but definately i will be meeting yang for his project. After which gona meet per for shopping and lastly, meet my own members for fellowship.

Being obedience requires us to go against ourselves and do things that is beyond what we can most of the time. Nothing about falsehooding actually, but its more of a training and moulding session set for us.

I'm tired. Pardon me if i'm too HIGH or on the other hand, i'm too quiet. My mind got shut. It aint functioning as it usually does. Rest is all i need. Music is all i want. Peace is all i pine.

i had not been eatin a single bit of food for e past 2 days.. trust mi, i ate NOTHIN.. .. coffee is all i had.. .. the trial will cont tml, the day aft, n so on, n so forth.. .. avoid askin mi y.. .. jus haf no appetite.. ..

holdin on to the fone, redundantly i waited for 38mins blurly, blindly n blankly before i hung up.. .. guess i had been forgotten.. .. all of which proved tat we're not meant to b.. ..

His trace of light moved mi on.. ..

once u had made a decision toward certain commitment, by all means.. .. stick to it.. .. man.. God hears lor.. argh~ nvm.. haas.. He noes wat i'm tokin abt.. ..

chat on fone for 5hrs plus 2day.. waa.. wen was the last time tat i had chat so long? haas.. 'once upon a time.. ..', 'long long ago.. ..' LOLX!

wa piang.. kor took away his card reader!!! aww.. no more card reader to use.. hw m i suppose to load songs n pic into com without a card reader~ ARGH.. ..!!! !!! 'God, drop mi a blessin of card reader hao ma???'

goto noe frm william tat yuan lai in weijing's eyes, i'm so strong n so spiritual.. william says tat weijing beri pei fu mi n beri xin shang mi.. did he made a mistake? haas.. i'm not spiritual, not strong.. wakaka~ summore lack of faith.. where got holy sia? lolx~... n william tot i was a helper.. oh plz?!! helper?? nah.. .. i'm not! n will nv b..

die le la.. wana go pm on tue.. but i all my money wif weijing.. includes ATM.. my ez link no more money.. hw to go.. .. argh~

it bothers mi alot of my family mems tok abt God.. nth else but insults.. i wld appreciate dem not sayin a single tin den to open their mouth which filled wif rubbish..

at times, i cant help it but ask myself loads of Qs.. .. all of which i haf no ans.. ..

had a tired day.. slept at 7 in the mornin but woke up at ard 10 plus 11.. jus a few hrs of slp lasted mi the entire day.. ..

was super late for svc 2day.. was rushin ard wif liang like mad over tat stupid hp.. haiz.. long story.. jus pek cek.. my sweat was like 'river of livin water', drippin n drippin even wen i settled down for praise n worship.. so uncomfortable.. ..

i was totally in dreamland durin the whole sermon.. nth went into my head.. .. simply sittin there for time to pass.. .. shut off.. super shut off.. ..

went east coast wif ping, william, weijing, liang n sandy aft svc.. .. haas.. enjoyed gg out wif everi single of dem.. ping was reli a fun person to b wif.. william too.. he sings well!!! but not as well as weijing leh.. haas..~ i fell deeply in luv wif weijing.. .. WEI! haven finish la.. is weijing's VOICE can! wat u guys tinkin sia.. .. yup.. he sang 'ju hua tai' jus nw.. man~ he stole my soul.. .. so engross wif his singin.. .. aww.. ping so xin fu~ haas.. was havin singin session at the beach.. ALL of us can sing well.. we reli do.. not jus normal singin, but wif element, feel, substances n vocal.. yea~ haas.. tat ping.. kip on tryin to pull red string bwtn mi n william.. .. =.=" argh~! she beta stop it.. ..

had a nice compliment frm weijing.. he said i was indeed a gd frenz.. oso added tat i had changed.. he released tat i'm nw nicer? beta? more spiritual? bla bla bla.. .. did i? i'm not sure either.. onli noe tat many revelations had been placed rite infront of mi recently.. nah.. nth goto do wif bein nicer anot.. perhaps i jus managed to master hw not to take heart of tins.. ..

william ask if i'm gg for prayer meetin on tue.. .. i'm considerin still.. .. shld i? or shld i not.. ..

haiz.. let sandy scold the whole day.. she not tired i oso tired ar.. .. princess's mood 2day wasnt beri gd wor.. beta not open my mouth.. will get further scoldins.. .. aww.. ..

i enjoyed havin my frenz as my cell mems.. but i don enjoy havin cell mems as my frenz.. .. don get? forget it den.. ..

will b accompanyin yang for shoppin tml..

i'm tired.. super tired.. .. zhou gong is waitin for mi oreli.. .. i goto go.. .. .. zZz.. ..

had jus finished watchin a cartoon introduced by sandy.. 'Qian yu qian xun'.. it convey a msg tat never bow our heads down toward circumstances even if it seems tough n impossible to complete. perhaps dis is wat we call common grace of pop culture.. ..

as i was rushin out to meet sandy dis afternoon, i passed by a fruit stall sumwhere near my place.. it was JJ song's bein played.. .. wow.. .. even uncles oso like him.. lolx~ he's lao shao xian yi.. he's cute, handsome, cool n of cuz talented! for dis wk's i-magazine, dey had featured JJ! 1 page of content onli, but it was enuf to make mi xcited.. haas..

numerous tins r gg thru my mind.. ..

i'm workin on my commitment.. .. will tok abt relationship aft 21.. .. yup.. guess tats the right way.. i shld focus more on wat i shld.. ..

our willingness reflects on our luv for God.. if we r nt willin enuf, it jus shows tat we don luv God enuf.. .. hw willin m i? onli God noes.. ..

i luv my parents.. i do.. but truely, i haf no idea hw to communicate wif dem.. .. we always find tat our parents don reli undertsand us.. but hw many of us understand wat dey r tinkin? i bein to feel the loneliness of their heart.. hw much dey yearn to see us yet we r always nt in their sight.. .. wen we're bored, we rather face the com den to face dem.. pick up our fone, call some frenz n out we went.. wat abt dem? pathetically sittin in front of the tv, pressin the button again n again to switch to diff channel.. read come newspapers? wash some clothes or dishes? tats their routine durin their off days.. .. our parents nid care n concern as well, dey wanted our attention too.. don neglect dem.. .. plz.. .. no.. ..

i had been havin terrible nightmares recently.. i cant reli slp well.. .. the min i shut my eyes, i wld jump up of bed even by the slightest sound made.. .. dis has nth goto do wif timidness.. it jus shows hw weak i m.. .. ..

picture says a thousand words.. .. yet no words r suitable in definin my tots n feelins.. ..

circumstances had showed mi tat God did fulfill all His promises.. everitin turns out well for mi nw.. .. but wen everitin works out fine, it was mi, tat is slidin back.. .. nth abt wat is happenin, but its all abt wat had been stuck in my heart all these while.. ..

all of a sudden, Christianity seems so anomalous to mi.. .. God moves nearer n nearer to mi.. .. i was walkin further n further frm Him.. .. i'm disoriented walkin in an obscurin direction.. .. i guess i mite nid a little help in findin my way.. .. ..

everi smile i had made frm everi drop of tears i shed.. ..

i'm still perseverin on.. .. guys, push mi a little plz.. .. God, lend mi ur hand.. .. gif mi a little pull will u?

'Faith cums by hearin n hearin the words of God' (Romans 10:17)

'Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.' (Hebrews 11:1).

"Whatever is not from faith is sin' (Romans 14:23)

Hence, we knew hw important Faith can b.. we nid Faith to do all tins..

The days wen i was still 'young' in church, tons n tons of prosecutions were set.. forbiddens n restirctions r surrounded all over mi.. my parents simply do not understand the reason for mi gg church..

out of 4 svcs per mth, i cld recall tat i'm onli able to attend 1 or 2.. but i was contented wif tat. i pinned so much to b able to b there, worshippin God n touch tangibly by His presence with the rest, but i was grounded with everi attempt.

i told myself, 'perhaps its reli time for mi to fight for my rights'.. it was my faith tat brought mi forth.. tat single step i made was a thrillin, fearful, pressurisin, yet a successful one.. i thx God for my brother.. thou we seldom tok, yet he had been speakin up for mi to convince my parents in allowin mi to go church..

i struggled n fought so hard for it, n yes, i got wat i yeared all along.. onli wen we've gone thru tough times before gettin wat we wan, we'll learn hw to treasure n cherish..

at times i wonder 'y m i still here in church.. ..' was it reli bcuz of His luv? or the tough times i've been thru tat makes mi reluctant to leave..

where had all the faith n passion in the past went.. i had cum a long way.. i cldnt gif up jus like tat..

Christian life is like a pcs of meat.. no raw meat tasted nice.. while its delicious havin the cooked meat in our mouth.. whether to remain raw or cook, it all lies within tat FIRE in us..

is mine still burnin strong? r urs? take time to meditate abt it.. ..

went out wif yang 2day.. short while, yet peaceful n enjoyable.. .. at times, i jus nid peace frm my life.. ..

'twinkle twinkle little star, hw i wonder wat u r.. .. ..'

haiz.. guys, pardon mi for not loadin ani pic here recently, dis stupid blogger still doesnt allow mi to do so.. .. haiz haiz haiz.. ..

met sandy up.. instead of takin MRT, we took bus frm bedok to boon lay.. man.. it was reli a long long long long LONG journey.. was havin a fun time aboard.. lolx~

here i m, havin lots of fun wif sandy, there ping n weijing were, waitin for mi to haf dinner.. haas.. dey cant hold ani longer i guess? dey had theirs first even before i reach.. haha..

wow.. we got the 4th row frm the front for prayer meetin! so near so near.. we can even see those pimples of pastor.. lolx! prayer meetin was gd.. the atmosphere was filled wif His presence.. .. an old worship song was played, many of us kneeled down where tats wen His presence is even stronger.. .. prayed wif yuzhi.. thou there're nth much to tok btwn us, but i feel comfortable prayin wif him.. ..

gettin a job soon.. the job was frm bro.. whether will it go smoothly, it still goto depends on myself.. ..

everione is one their own oreli.. .. liang is studyin n workin at the same time, sandy is concentratin on her N and O lvl, lin is bz wif her proj, so is yang.. my fone doesnt ring n vibrates as much as before animore.. maintainin frenship is a tough job.. .. at times, i'm tired too.. .. sendin msg wif no reply, sayin 'hi' yet dey ended up wif a 'bye'.. .. God, wen will all dis cum to an end.. ..

let mi b healthy once again.. ..

certain impact had been made.. it hit mi so hard tat i bein to tink it thru n meditated on it again n again..

yes.. all along i've been takin it for granted.. it was seems a routine to mi.. wat is tat.. .. i cld find no further room to grow bcuz of tat old mentality.. its all abt one's mindset.. ..

hw cld i forget abt wat He's done.. hw cld i not bother abt the blood bein shed.. hw cld i not rem abt the unconditional luv He's shown.. hw cld i forsake Him while all along He was by my side.. hw cld i not obey Him wen times n again He did wonders n miracles for mi..

He did it all not jus for mi, but for all of us..

some wanted so much to go, yet dey're bein held back but tins.. but on the other hand, those tat r able to go r findin xcuses not to turn up.. ..

each meetin is an encounter wif God.. which oso means, a chance to meet God.. God made an appointment wif us, yet some of us made a firm decision not to go for it.. God is waitin.. waitin there for us.. .. can u imagine the hurt if others leave u at the spot to wait for dem but no one turns up? God felt it tat way too.. .. can u sense n feel His grief?

Gd n bad tins r always happenin ard us.. weneva tribulations cums by, obtacles r set before us, we blame n scold God for it.. But wen blessins r cumin in, joyous moment occurred, hu did rem to gif thx n praises to Him?.. He's waitin.. .. still waitin.. ..

i belonged to the category tat i'm referin to as well.. most of us do.. its time a decision goto b made..

don stand on tat boundary line, is either u're in, or u're out..

Church is not a hotel, God is not a toy.. don cum n go as u like, don toy wif Him..

pick tat shuttered heart of urs up n get movin wif life.. cont walkin.. wen u see Him, hand ur shuttered heart to Him, He'll make it whole once again.. ..

Wen u don see His hands, feel His heart.. .. He's there.. n will b there foreva.. ..

a little annoyed usin blogger nw a days.. its slow, hang, n prob occurs here n there oways.. argh!!!~ its gettin on my nerves.. .. fine.. i'm bloggin still.. ..

went to sandy's place early in the mornin ytd to catch the movie 'windstruck'.. met liang at 9.30 over lavander.. it had been decades n millennium since i last woke up at such early hrs as compared to the usual time.. .. it was all worthwhile thou, i tot.. hu noes.. .. the DVD jammed.. .. =.=" it was oreli at the roused n excited part, we got all fired up wif the touchin n sendimental sotry line wen the scene doesnt move at all.. .. argh~ was agitated den.. i'm gg to change the DVD!!! !!!

sandy's dad was great.. upon noein tat we're cumin, he cooked porridge for us!!! haas.. he wldnt b ard on tat say itself, thus he cook it the nite before but put it in the rice cooker to kip it warm for us.. awww.. .. so nice of him.. ..~

i wore daddy's shoes out ytd, tinkin tat he will b stayin at hm the entire day.. he called, scoldin n yellin at mi for wearin his shoes n hung up aft tat 'thunder storm' frm him.. he was late, n hence got scolded by his client.. .. daddy was reli reli furious.. .. i dono wat more to say other den to msg him wif a 'sorry'.. .. jus 5 min before svc, daddy replied.. tot he wld cont wif his scoldin, but miracles happened.. .. he wrote 'i was super angry n furious at the first place! u made mi late for my appointment n got scolded! u cannot like dis u noe? wateva u do, tink abt the consequences, whether will it affect others.. don do tins the way u like it.. nxt time cannot like tat ok? haiz.. forget abt it ba.. nvm.. ..' waa.. he din scold mi, but forgave? erm.. i was stunned, starin blankly at my fone for mins wif his msg.. erm.. surprised, yet happy n overjoyed.. but aft all, it was my first time apologisin to him.. .. yes.. first time in my life.. .. in compensate, i reach hm lockin myself in my room ytd nite.. tellin myself 'no com for mi 2day!'.. hey.. not touchin the com was indeed a punishment for mi ok~ but the fact was.. erm.. afraid to see daddy la~ hahahah!!!

its Delirious wkend ytd!!! Martin Smith was COOL!!! man.. out of all their visits, their performance ytd was the most fantastic n mavelous among all! i like the computer graphic flashed on the LED.. the way dey showed the lyrics was special.. so 'IN'~

met up wif pst sidney ytd.. haas.. took fotos wif him n got the lyrics of mengenal mu in english version frm him! i nv knew hw high the sky n hw deep the ocean was.. .. i.. .. i sang together wif pastor sidney.. .. haas~ he shared wif mi abt his life.. can u guys imagine tat? he's cute.. i luv msgin wif him.. each msg frm wif comes wif a smiley face.. opps~ did i leak out the secret? yes yes.. i haf pastor sidney's mobile num.. .. haas.. he told mi which hotel he's stayin in.. tellin mi to look for him? but cant leh.. replied him wif 'nah nah.. cannot disturb pastor frm restin.. ..'.. haas.. he keep callin mi 'tall gal' thou he knew my name was esther.. .. before he flew off, he said 'lets kip in contact esther!'.. .. cant even blif tat a pastor will say such tins to mi.. .. aww.. .. luv ya pastor sidney!!!

met liang up 2day for shoppin.. don misunderstood guys, its him, not mi.. .. haas.. he's flyin off soon, hence nid to get his stuff.. he bought a leather bag.. finally.. .. he had been wantin it for long.. .. was walkin ard aimlessly wen we came to a decision to play pool.. lolx~ headed back den to meet yang for his dinner.. haas.. he sounded so pathetic sia, haven eat n no one to eat wif.. haas.. my poor ah boy.. ..

hasnt been beri hapi lately.. was always bothered by tat issue.. .. i dono hw to handle it.. .. wen time as such happen, i gif it all up.. .. face the fact n get movin esther.. .. ..

nth seems to b rite.. .. i simply haf no mood for anitin.. .. no mood at all.. .. cancelled all appointments today.. .. tml.. the day aft n so on, n so forth.. ..

shhh.. .. listenin to the silence.. .. its tokin.. ..

tuition 2day.. carried umbrella wif mi as it was rainin cats n dogs.. ahh.. felt relieved.. celine had improve in her han yu pin yin.. phew~ she's a gd gal la.. but abit slow in learnin.. well.. guess i jus nid more paitiance in teachin her.. ..

met up wif eddy n sandy.. eddy was moody 2day.. .. haiz.. wat can i do.. .. am hungry, thus went ahead to tm for our meals.. ate pasta mania.. i ordered prawns n shrooms while sandy ate lagsana..

watched superstar.. there's a song beri nice, call 'dou shi ni' by guang liang.. sang it, recorded it n send to lin.. so nice can~ haiz.. my xiao lu dou sang badly 2day.. hw sia.. .. he sick ma.. the judges cannot understand meh.. awww.. .. ltr results gg to b out.. so gan jiong.. call!!! he's M2!!! support him everibody!!!

erm.. i'm hungry.. yes.. i m.. shld i eat carbonara again? or cha cai fan? hmmm.. let mi tink.. ..

2day was rather a fast gg day.. time flies..

tried loggin in to my blogger ytd but cant.. neither can i enter my own blog.. tot sumone hack my acct, but.. hu will? haas~ tried again 2day, praise the Lord!!! i'm here bloggin!!! wee!!!~

went to pick sandy up frm sch, pass her jacket as it was rainin cats n dogs.. the down pour was indeed heavy.. haiz.. i brought along umbrella.. can u guys blif tat? for our gong zhu sake, scare she ling yu, so no choice but to bring tat along wif mi.. i lost our gong zhu ytd sia.. call her stand down there wait for mi, den wen i cum back, cannot find her.. xia si wo le.. .. phew~ managed to find her in the end.. long story la.. heng ar.. lost our gong zhu leh.. big big tai ji sia!~ ltr my head will roll~.. ..

ate mee hun kueh wif her.. saw jeanie too! haas.. aft which send our gong zhu hm, den headed to great world to find liang.. took shuttle bus to orchard n walk to PS.. haas.. saw rachel n revonda, sat down n chat wif dem till 12 den took bus 7 hm.. jus nice saw kun n mong.. dey're takin bus 7 as well..

din go aniwhere 2day.. kor wanted to call for delivery, thus ask if i wan some as well.. of cuz! called for pizza hut.. yum yum~ waa.. 2day is a super borin day lor..

sumbody HELP!!!~ i'm so sooo sooooooo BORED!!!! ARGH!!!

hey ya everibody! i'm back to blog!

my days nw aint as bz as before.. a little slacky here n there, yet fruitful at times..

had been out wif sandy n liang always.. haas.. the usuals.. oh yea~ sandy made a card for mi.. man~ tat card cost a bomb!!! guys, its reli ex, jus a pcs of paper wif sum prints n it cost ard 28 bucks!!! well, it doesnt apply to my card alone, tat includes liang's n bro's card as well.. the design of the card was fabulous, yet it was the content tat caught my attention.. meaningful yet kind of sour.. it was the best card tat i eva receive, no doubt, it certainly was..

bought new hp.. N72.. wat a headache for a nokia noob like mi to own a nokia fone.. i'm simply at lost of wat to do at the beri first place thou so much so i wanted to load all my songs n pics into it.. haas.. praise the Lord, i got it! haas!~ havin a great time dwnloadin all the themes, games etc.. cool~

tuition 2day.. man.. i almost ran out of my paitiance.. was teachin celine han yu pin yin.. argh~ teach dono hw many times still dono.. the same word, repeat n repeat n repeat still cannot read.. here i m tryin to make her understand, there she was, restless fidgetin ard, playin wif strings n openin her wallet.. .. 'wen i'm tokin, i wan u to listen! i'm gg to get angry u noe?! put ur wallet aside!!' (goto tok like dis as she's onli pri 1) haiz.. heng she ting hua.. if not i reli goto kill myself.. .. i was asked to take another 4 kids.. OH PLZ! NO~ argh.. i guess i prefer upper pri more den lower pri.. its so hard to teach!!!

met up wif sandy n eddy aft my tuition.. haas.. aft i came, i was tokin away wif eddy wen sandy spoke softly to mi 'guess onli u can tok to him.. he was quiet all along till u came.. ..' haas.. kids luv mi la~ i don understand y but tats the fact.. lolx~ eddy wanted to meet mi everiwk, if can, WITHOUT his er jie.. erm erm.. *hint hint* (his er jie, i'm accountin to u rite nw..~) haas.. took bus 66 wif eddy, see him hm den send sandy back.. i'm reli tired 2day.. .. *yawn*~

bro is in korea nw.. missed him so much.. .. bro ar bro.. cum back soon.. ..~

bro seems unhapi abt wateva i've blog.. .. i mean.. i oso dono hw to say.. .. nth wrong actuli, jus tat.. she read it n happen to b emotional.. .. he said 'such tins cannot b blog one u understand?!' other den 'orh.. ..', i can tink of nth to reply him.. ..

we aint allow to 'share' as it mite turns out to b rumour n gossip.. nw.. we aint even allow to blog.. ..

i had all enuf.. .. i've tried so hard to b a gd frenz, a gd mem.. but i failed.. failed terribly.. ..

my decision got doubly confirmed wen i woke up dis mornin.. i was rite in tellin bro, i was rite in bringin up the matter, i was rite to get dem to tok.. everitin was rite..

jus wen i wanted to tell her, she oreli knew wats gg on.. the onli tin she said was 'i nid sumtime on my own.. ..' n she logged off frm msn.. .. she felt lousy nw, i noe n i noe.. yes.. it was mi hu stirred it up.. i took one whole nite to recuperate my guilt wif all consolations frm lin, yet it got worse upon gettin such reaction frm her.. ..

its nv gd to b a middleman.. its nv gd to do gd deeds.. its nv gd to gif a helpin hand.. all in all, it jus made mi felt terrible.. .. it jus reassured me of my spiritual lvl n capabilitiy in handlin tins.. .. it shows hw weak i m..

dis is the last time tat i'm gona b NOSY abt such tins.. i wash my hands off.. .. totally.. .. ..

'when i'm weak
You r strong
You're my feet
when i cant move on
You're the light
in the dark
You're the whisper
inside my heart.. ..'

a great mistake bein made.. ..

wif a helpin heart, i merely wana help the both of dem to reconcile.. .. thou all these days dey seems peaceful, yet it was boilin hot beneath the surface.. .. i seeked for bro's help as i haf no idea on hw to touch on abt the issue n haf no authority to.. bro is gg to tok to dem, which i tink its gd, but sumhw or rather, i stirred tins up frm nth.. .. she's gg b angry for sure.. the least she eva wanted is to tok to bro, moreover nw wif such issues, she will hate it more.. ..

i dono hw she gona react on tat day, but i noe for sure tears gona flow.. perhaps i'm reli too bo liao to chap into such affair.. .. reli.. .. everitin seems fine.. y m i so kapo.. ..

lin is rite.. a true frenz doesnt haf to please one party always.. .. m i doin the rite tin? i dono.. but i tink i shld.. bro will handle it, God will see to it.. i'm takin my leave.. ..

if my decision affected the frenship, all i can say is.. 'sorry, i'm jus doin wat God wans mi to.. ..'.. i jus wan the best for both of u.. ..

a great mistake, yet a gd mistake.. .. understand my heart plz.. .. i'm sori.. ..

woke up rather late dis mornin.. suppose to meet sandy n liang at 11.30, but receive msg frm liang sayin tat sandy is not able to meet us, so.. i slp till 1 plus in the afternoon? liang told mi tat sandy hp spoiled, she sent for repair hence she cannot contact us.. den he added tat her dad scolded her, bla bla bla.. dono wat liang tokin la.. called sandy myself.. she's ok.. she din reli sounded upset.. n.. she bought new fone!!! argh!!!~ haiz.. a little downcast cuz cant b able to meet her n liang frm tml on le.. .. .. reli.. we r not able to meet animore le.. .. =,(

lin msg mi jus nw.. tok alittle while before she went off for her lunch.. she told mi tat she misses mi ABIT? erm.. weird.. first time sia.. n y mus emphasize on the ABIT??? *scratch head*

ate chicken cutlet for my lunch.. daddy ate chicken chop.. he pays everitin, so i don haf to worry abt my lunch n dinner recently..

sent bro an email tat day.. an appreciation letter.. but oso can consider my spiritual diary.. he replied immediately on tat very day itself.. 2day he sent another email over.. hmm.. emailin bro is kind of beta den tokin to him? as least he reply fast thru email..

i luv bro.. indeed.. beri much.. tat day durin tonnin, i kip on repeatin myself sayin tat i luv bro.. sandy, liang n yang stare at mi blankly.. i was like 'WEI! kan she mo? i reli luv bro!'.. but i did xplain myself tat it was merely abt wat he had done in my life tat makes mi admire him n look up to him.. nth else.. he's jus noble.. bro, u made the best leader eva!

i'm grown up.. reli grown up.. haas.. .. i m ok~ don doubt! i reli am!!!

met liang n sandy up in the afternoon ytd for.. .. .. .. DURAIN SESSION!!! haas.. went geylang to enjoy the great fragrance n taste of the king of fruits.. HHHHMMMMM~ heavenly~ its jus finger lickin gd! muhaha!~

yang joined up ltr at ps.. decided to watch 'night at the musume'.. bought ting's ticket as she will b joinin us at a ltr hrs.. haas.. it was indeed a gd show.. beri beri beri gd.. the best show i had watch dis yr.. .. ting rebonded her hair! erm.. looks weird.. but ok la.. she like it can le.. not tat bad either.. .. i guess it had been a long time since ting last catch a movie.. .. it was jus an computer animated dinosaur, n there she was, grabbin my shirt, screamin in silence.. .. =.="

ting promised to ton wif us, but she cant even make it before 12.. lolx~ eyes closin even wen er r takin MRT.. .. no choice but to call her go hm rest.. frm PS, we took MRT to bedok n change to bus 17 to down town east.. it was on bus 17, i saw JJ thru TV mobile!!! aww.. so handsome.. ..~ counted down together wif him den.. lolx~ ppl r msgin me yet i cldnt reply.. network got all jammed up.. .. haiz..~ the cutest msg i receive was frm owyong.. 'merry new yr!!!'.. erm.. *scratch head*.. wats tat.. .. lolx~

it was a wrong place tat we chose.. jus like orchard.. ppl r sprayin the can spray everiwhere.. was tryin to cover sandy as we walk, summore the gas so smelly!!! yuck~ ate in burger king before we proceed to the beach side..

bought bottles of drinks n chips wif us to pull us thru the nite.. it was a long walk before we found a suitable place to rest our feet.. settled down at one of the BBQ pit, it was clean enuf for our sandy princess to sit.. lolx~ was tokin, singin n jokin the entire nite.. again i say, tonin is NOT a waste of time.. it was a wonderful opputunity to get to noe another beta.. in pinin sunrise, we kept ourselves awake.. but.. .. even wen the sky turns bright, the sun was nowhere to b spotted.. ..

mummy called at the mid of the nite, scoldin n yellin abt mi tonnin n abt my untidy rm.. aft all, she's jus findin sumtin to scold la.. bein ridiculars, she wans mi back aft countdown which is IMPOSSIBLE.. no more bus hw to go hm?! summore its weird the min we counted '3! 2! 1! HAPI NEW YR!!!' den turn n say bye bye.. she scold n scold n scold, so in the end i ask her 'so nw wat u wan? i take cab hm? or wait for first bus?!' she din bother to ans but to scold n scold n scold again.. unreasonable.. .. jus let her scold, scold till the end she will eventually hang up de.. .. super pek cek lor.. mood spoilin.. was complainin n whinin to daddy the min i came hm till nw abt bein scolded by mummy.. aft all, thou seldom tok to daddy, but he understands teenagers' life more den mummy does.. ..

my daddy is modish.. he went k box, sing JJ, Tank, FIR, Fan yi chen bla bla bla songs! i was shock too.. but tats the fact.. he's jus far too cool..~

haiz.. sent sandy hm aft the 'unseem sunrise'.. frm pasir to boon lay.. change bus, to her hse, den take bus, back to boon lay again.. take MRT, back to kem.. reli reli reli beri tired, my eyes cld hardly open while sendin her hm.. all of us r like walkin zombies.. lolx~

went back hm, slp, den woke up by wenting.. .. she's cumin over to my place to collect cam.. aww.. cant slp back animore.. ..

ahh.. my ez link card had changed to adult fare!!! so expensive.. .. princess sandy is returnin back to sch soon le.. aww.. tml mus meet.. if not aft sch reopen, she will not b able to go out wif us for the nxt 2 yrs animore.. .. *sad*..

i'm tired.. will blog again.. ..