waited for darlin to finish her stock take till 2am in the mornin.
while i actuli dismissed at 10pm.
went supper at bukit timah.
mingled ard wif dem till 5am in the mornin.
sent darlin hm.
reached hm ard 5 plus 6.
tired.
hence did not blog.

woke up at ard 12 plus dus afternoon.
gettin myself readi for tuition.
well,
i'm late again as usual.
took cab dwn.

aft both the sessions,
rushed dwn to gv to meet the rest.
had a little movie marathon.
10 of us watchin 'invisible target',
out of the 10,
3 went to watch 'the simsons movie' aft tat.
as for the rest of us,
we watched 'alone'.
it wasnt reli as scary or as nice as i tot.
the show did not scare mi at all,
but darlin does.
was sharin jacket wif her,
each time she jerked,
i got a fright.
=.=||

went to play water wif darlin as promised.
jump into the pool at the top lvl of vivo.
man.
i'm all wet.
thx to liang,
the first to splash mi.

darlin super tired.
i can understand.
she caught less den 2 hrs of slp ytd.
yup.
thus she went hm aft playin water.
while as for mi, liang n jp,
dey headed to my place here for supper.
we reli ordered ALOT of food.
lamp chop, laksa, chicken wings,
gyoza, mash potato, grilled fish,
bla bla bla.
yes. jus three of us.

we will b meetin for 'the simsons movie' again tml.
wee~
aft the movie,
darlin nids to go out wif her sis,
so..
jp, liang n i will b gg k box for a sing!
muhahaha!~
finally!!!
thx jp, for suggestin tat in killin our time tml.
lolx~

wat movies m i left wif?
hmm..
'knocked up' (M18)
'captivity' (M18)
'black sheep' (M18)
'blood hunter' (M18)
'vacancy' (NC16)
'gone shoppin' (NC16)

all rated movies.
poor kids.
no movie for u children ok!~

he discovered abt our rumour.
actuli, tats nt a rumour.
its the fact.
jp helped mi denied it all.
thx God.
jus don wish to lose a gd kaki..

gg to puma tml.
darlin likes a bag in there.
see if can get discount,
den see if i can affort.
first time buy darlin tins,
abit.. ..
feels weird.
haas.

i'm gg to bed soon le.
guess darlin oreli in her lala land.
lolx~
sumbody..
plz gif mi a msg tml.
i'm afraid i'll overslept.

had been havin black outs often recently.
don faint esther.
seldom will haf ppl wif enuf strength to carry u.
argh..

will stop here.
*go find darlin in lala land*

dis moment, i nid my angel most.
wonder hu tat person is,
he or she doesnt seems to b doin anitin at all.

gala for 'gone shoppin' today.
suppose to b at box,
but was called to usher for GV max.
where all celebs walk in on a red carpet.
imagine Quan yi feng toks to mi,
Ben yeo said helo n thx to mi,
Kim Ng n chen shu chen smiled at mi.
but none of dem can hold a candle to tat kind of feelin wen JJ walked past mi.
well,
he din even haf mi his glance.
its ok.
i'm more den contented to b able to see him.

oh ya. served an 'unique' patron today.
i served wif all my best,
gave the best seats tat i can.
aft tenderin everitin,
i went 'enjoy ur show Pastor Sy Roger!'
he was shocked.
yet hapi.
he asked for my name n we had a little chat.
he's cute.
funi too.
his daughter n son in law were wif him.
he gave a little intro,
shook hands,
n.. we cont chattin again.
yup.
he noes my name.
will he rem mi like Pastor sydney does?

box is reli not 'my' station.
cannot stand sittin there.
blood boils tokin to all the patrons.
bored. bored. bored.
'COUNTER CLOSED'
there i am, went ard playin again.
went C16 more den 8 times today.
i guess?
dono.
never eva count before.
but darlin does count for mi.
opps~

stupid vik bully my darlin.
made her cry.
took revenge on eatin up his jumbo hotdog.
*sayang darlin*~

thx gracina.
generous enuf to spare mi her whole pack of viceroy.
buy u back a new pkt sum other time.
our supper session.
n plz rem to pump petrol for ur car~

back pain
hand pain
heart even more painful den the other two.

darlin agreed for mi to let it out,
i did as bein told.
but she took back her words in the end.
tats nt fair.

will b at box again tml.
thx God tat time passes real quick in GV.
but a min in box seems a decades to mi still.
argh~

y recently so many ppl in GV r gettin luv bites?
eee.. nah.. such tins not for mi plz.

haf 2 more resolutions.
to put tattoo,
and pierce tongue.
life can nv b the same.
gona haf some breakthrus.
in looks,
in style,
in outfit.

feel like buyin darlin a new bag.
she oways squeeze so many tins in her bag,
make it bloop bloop,
summore her bag like so old liao.
but dono shld buy her back zinc,
tagger,
or nike?
but nike one so common,
not tat nice oso.
dono.
walk ard see see first.

thurs so many ppl gg.
hear the names liao oso sianz.

tokin to jackie nw.
tot aft he had became famous,
he had changed.
but he din.
still as concern as before.
we can tok abt everitin,
n anitin.
tokin to him makes mi feels comfortable.
oways~

tml workin early.
gona leave hm at ard 10 plus.
time for bed.
nite~

wen to office rather early.
wif liang,
together we made melodious mucis in the staff rm.
finally the song we had been practicin had a little improvement.
we played 'a pure heart',
darlin luvs it.
recorded it n sent to her.

candy bar today.
cant reli work wif ani of dem.
blood r gushin all the way up n up.
volunteered to wash popper.
goten a deep cut on my hand.
Gracina stepped in to help,
she completed the kettle for mi.
thx pal~
plz pump some patrol nxt wk,
i wan my supper~

aft long long long long search.
i've found the song darlin wan.
pro mi.
i don even noe the song,
jie ping onli let mi listen once for ard 10 sec.
onli noe tat its a song frm beyond,
n was sang by S.H.E oso.
tats was all the info given.
but thx God,
i found it.
i reli do.

darlin aint mine at all.
she belongs to eveione's but mi.
startin to not noe wat she reli wans,
wat she reli tinks,
wat she reli means,
wat she reli feels.
guess wind n i r in the same state rite nw.
rollin on the same boat.

darlin walked past mi today while i was packin nachos
sayin 'darlin don sad sad kk? kk..'
her foreva 'kk? kk..'
sounds great usually,
but not so today.
hw shld i open my mouth to tell her,
she is the cause for the sadness.

drop the sub for goodness sake.

box tml.
bookin Q.
closin.
damn.
i dono hw.
forget it.
LEARN den.

hate bein shifted frm station to station.
goto learn everitin frm scratch.
i seems so stupid for tat beri moment.
jus like wat i m in candy bar today.

everione shares their prob wif mi.
yet dey do not noe tat all of their prob links.
its hard for mi to say anitin,
i can onli listen - quietly.
if i were to speak,
i mite leak certain secret out frm dis n tat person.
which i don wan to.
but if i don spout a single word,
dis n tat gona get hurt.
dilemma.
sumbody help~

aft a long wait,
i finally launch the angel n mortal game.
a little stupid i noe.
but fun thou.
who's my mortal? is..
SHHH!~
don tell u!
goto start showerin my luv, care n concern.
haven been doin it for so long.
feels weird nw.
haas.

haf a sudden urge n crave for movie rite nw.
watchin alone.
yes.
alone.
its beta to b off alone
den to haf sumone hu used to b there yet no longer doin so nw.

jus bein emo for dis moment.
if yongxing were to b ard,
he'll sure call out aloud
'emo kid!'.
tats wat he luvs to call mi.

she told liang tat she misses mi
n wantin to see mi.
cut the crap.
i no longer noe hu is she.

don try to salvage anitin wen u haf turned mi off.
u, u, u n u.
u noe hu u r.
all the effort put in nw is NEVER enuf to amend.

i'm someone hu nids high maintainance.
i simple do.
if u tink u cant commit n contribute tat much,
don eva bother to step into my life boundary.
kip out of dis zone for heaven sake.
i hated those hu stepped in n walked mi out in the end.
i remed u, u, u n u.
vividly n clearly.
not till u turn ash.

left my watch n bracelet in candy bar abv the sink.
hopefully james will manage to help mi get dem back tml.

cut off all my nails.
no sacrifice, no victory. (frm transformers)
nids to play guitar,
hence,
jus goto cut it off.

pay day is cumin.
yea~
i dreamt tat i onli earn 300 plus bucks.
oh no..
God, let it not b real.
argh~

lala land time.
gd nite.

i'm mean.
yes i m.
thx to chris.
i'm FIRM in all tins.
n tat applies to all areas in life.
no mercy given.

i'm sori to say,
dis time round outin,
i'm the organizer.
i'm the one hu book,
com passes r liang's n mine.
ASK mi before misusin my com passes.
dis is a cell event,
those tat r nt invited,
plz jolly well get the sight out of my face.

in my list i haf:
Kun
Sandy
Lin
Mingwei
Mingwei's frenz
Weijing
Liang
Bro
Yang
Mei
Me

tats all.
if ani of u choose nt to watch n give up ur tix,
den take it as a void.
i will NOT pass the tix to another person.
i don appreciate the sacrificin of my mems for sumone hu don deserve it.
wan to watch?
PAY urself den.
my compasses r nt meant for anione OTHER den my mems.
sori to say, even u haf the money nw, u oso cant get a seat.
FULL HSE.

sounded mean?
yes i m.
i don deny.
spare no mercy.

n for my fellow ushers,
don teach mi wat to do wen i'm bein firm.
i'm jus applyin wat i'm taught.
n tats shld b the RIGHT way.

again i say.
church is not a hotel.
don cum n go as u like.

was kind of sick today.
draggin my feet for both tuition n work.
Liang bought mi porridge.
no taste.
prefer the chicken chop tat ALL of dem r eatin.

so nice of darlin.
haiz.
came all the way down
jus to pass mi the box servin standard despite is the off day today.
was touched.
reli.
darlin knew i nided it.
indeed i do.
thx darlin~

found so much food durin cinema clearin.
one hall to another.
all unopen food.
the mark n spencer's pie was super nice.
opened up n distributed to all my fellow ushers.
all were happily eatin dem.
yum yum~
Vik says my locker is nw a mini 7-eleven.
which i totally agree.

first time in history,
tat i wld allow a person to enter without IC for rated movies.
i was trained n equipped by the words of chris,
hence i m firm in EVERY hse rules stated.
no means no.
but today..
i'm actuli bein lenient to a gal.
brought her down to box for a refund,
but ultimately
i cant brin myself to do so in the end.
for the FIRST time,
i din jus close one eye,
i closed both my eyes.
aft all, she's polite n nice even thou i'm bein harsh
n tat makes mi break the record of doin so.

n for those patrons tat tink talkin ALOUD will scare my ushers?
will b able to brin in ur food?
will b able to enter without IC?
u're WRONG!
i will make sure u cant even step into the theater to watch ur show.
not hapi?
no prob.
refund ticket n get lost.
tat simple.
bear tat in mind,
GV is OUR place, nt urs.

first day release of 'black sheep'
yearned to watch it upon noein of such show,
but aft watchin part of the show today,
i cant stand it's goreness.
yucks~
but i was jumpin n singin thruout the entire day
'bah bah BLACK SHEEP haf u ani wool?'~
Vik asked mi to shut up.
damn him.

last show in C3, tins r gg a little out of hand.
2 grps of patrons was fightin in the cinema.
others wasnt watchin the movie,
but another more 'xcitin show'.
vik went to stop dem.
n got bashed i guess?
security was informed.

Nuh asked
him: 'hey~ r u local?'
me: 'do i nt look like one?'
him: 'ya..'
me: 'oh.. so where do i seems to b frm? mainland china? taiwan?'
him: 'western country.'
me: 'do i look like ang mos.. ..'
him: 'cuz of ur accent.'
me: 'oh?'
him: 'ya.. tot u r America Born Chinese.'

tats so cool can.
even managers said i tok slang.
i din.
mus i tok in broken eng before bein regconize?
tats jus the NORMAL way i tok.
plz understand tat.

wanted to buy harvanas sandals for so long.
so ex.
haiz.
cant bear to.
but i reli nid one.
sponsors, anione?

wat is the breed of nemo?
is called clown fish.
in chinese we call it 小丑鱼.
n here's a song by 罗志祥 - 小丑鱼.

小丑鱼

'我在你身边游来游去
我不敢出声看着他亲吻你
眼不能闭
看你的唇印还在那里
你隔着玻璃所以听不见
我在叹息

说不出口的秘密
永远活在小小的世界里
仅存一点稀薄的氧气
是否够我继续撑下去
这件脱不下来的外衣
还是你喜欢的橘
我不能确定
是否你曾经注意
我的眼泪流在透明的水里

lady lady one more try
再试着了解我的爱
发不出声音的感慨
选择作朋友的无奈

lady lady one more try
提醒我何时该走开
只要你偶尔想起来
我就住在那片海

等我转过身看你眼神
才知道自己想得太过天真
伤得太深
爱来的时候划破沉闷
我早该知道你终究不是
我该爱的人

黑暗中两眼无神
夜里不再为我开盏灯
始终不敢将爱说出口
当然没有资格去竞争
恋爱和失恋同时发生
怪自己枉费青春
我输得彻底把脸深埋在水里面
却还要演好这一场戏(repeat ★)

那片海眼看就要让我愈来愈远回不来
从此你的不愉快那么遥远谁听你埋怨
再说一遍说一遍 ya...
我在你身边给你一点点愉快就
会心甘情愿回到大海

lady lady one more try
再试着了解我的爱
发不出声音的感慨
选择作朋友的无奈

lady lady one more try
提醒我何时该走开
只要你偶尔想起来
我就住在那片海那片海'

so much so wanted to sing dis song to him.
haiz.
melody flows silently in n thru my heart.
jus not possible.

k. finally tml is my off day.
so is darlin's.
if nt for cell grp,
i wld meet darlin le.
wat to do?
haas..

i luv darlin's 'kk? kk..'
lolx~
self askin, self answerin.
n each time darlin heard 'wateva!'
darlin will oways responds wif 'i wan ANITIN!'
so funi can~

time to catch some slp.
aft so many days so insufficent slps.
meetin cell in the evenin,
but meetin liang in the late afternoon.
i can slp till the sun burns my butt.

k. will stop here.
yawn~ *mouth opens big big*

No prob in box today.
No down either.
Cant stand sittin down for long,
my backbone achin like hell.
moreover, i'm super hyper.
'COUNTER CLOSE'
tats wen i'm gone - went ard playin.

a runner for managers.
dey simply wan food.
went da bao for dem at kopitiam.
kao, Fion tat chichken chop is reli LONG.
nt in the shape,
but the waitin time.
for gdness sake~

patron: '2 tixs for harry potter at 6.50.'

me: 'i'm afraid i'm havin a full hse sir.
the best seats i can haf u
is the 2nd row frm the front by the aisle.'

patron: 'ok. i wan the middle seats. don wan the front.'

me: 'sir, i haf no more seats,
wat i'm left wif is onli 2nd row by the aisle,
if u wan the middle, u'll haf the go for the first row.'

patron: 'eh.. hw abt the back? animore seats?'

me: 'sir, NO MORE seats.'

patron: 'den the middle leh?'

(n it goes on n on n on n on.. ..)

plz la.. no more seats means no more seats,
still choose here choose there.
cant the patron understand english??
bua tarhan sia~

book 12 tixs for cell.
fri, gv vivo,'transformers 2K digital' at 8.40.
u guys beta turn up.
my precious com passes can!

havin sore throat for days.
*cough cough*
honey lemon for mi anione?

Renie callin mi jus nw.
he: 'Esther, telephone managers!'
me: 'telephone?'
he: 'yea! telephone managers!'
me: 'huh?'
he: 'tat guy wan see manager!' (pointin at a caucassian)
me: 'tats call TALKIE the manager, nt TELEPHONE the manager.'

i walked over to the patron.
me: 'hi sir~ u'll like to see the manager in regards of..?'
him: 'kmwuqoshsbwk.. augdhaubfawrwa, hiaugaibf..'
me: 'er.. haha.. er.. ok, can.'

aft all, i don understand him at all.

(tokin on talkie)
me: 'manager over~'
ah ma: 'sent~'
me: 'ah ma ar.. got 1 angmo hor, his ang mo too ang mo leh,
too ang mo till i don understand his ang mo.
but he wans to see the manager.'

ah ma came out aft a short while.
aft tokin to him,
ah ma went 'oh.. haha.. okok.. can can..' as well.
but actuli..
ah ma don understand him either.
=.=||

more n more ppl r attached.
well, as for mi.
i'm mentally attached, to him.
findin nemo~

din get to see darlin today.
aww..
i luv my darlin,
n my darlin luvs mi.
wee~

gg to slp soon le.
i'm super tired.
the tiredness goes on n on stil.. ..

First day at box wasnt much of a disastrous moment.
Darlin floatin box n candy bar,
hence i was thrown alone at box after 15mins of teachin.
Thx God i'm still alive, in sprit n in flesh.
Down 13 bucks.

Slept at 5am plus ytd,
woke up 8am plus today for work.
i'm tired. Super.

Went ahead for harry potter wif darlin.
Yes. as promised.
Darlin paid for the tix despite me pushin the money to her.
She got agitated.
Fine. u pay k~
Thx for the tix aniwae darlin.
*smile*

Had a fun time takin fotos ard wif darlin, liang n james.
But wats wif the bloody blogger again..
Damn. i cant post ani pic at all.
Will try to upload asap for u guys to c.

Workin box again tml.
Mornin.
i'm oreli havin insufficent slp.
argh~

Tml no darlin ard.
Who m i suppose to reply on?
Yes. Myself.
One min silence plz~
Will drop dead tml for sure.

Sacrificed all my com passes for the cell.
Haiz. Heart pain.
No pain no gain.
Cant enjoy all these alone.
It's not fair.
Hence made such decision.
Thou i've watched transformers a thousand n million times,
deep down in mi was kind of reluctant to watch it again.
But i noe many of dem wana watch,
so.. haiz..
Man~ dono mus watch hw many times..

havin heart to heart tok wif darlin nw.
the feelin is so gd.
Goto noe alot of tins too.
Shh~ kippin mum.

knockin out soon.
workin mornin again tml.
zZz..~

One of my best day at work.
Closing wif darling n vic at europa.
Chipped off 3 of my precious nails,
damn..

Woke up rather early today.
ani reason y?
yes.. u're rite,
for my psp sake.
met eric over expo to collect my memory stick,
he put in lotsa games inside.
thx eric~

passed my memory stick to hsien yung jus nw,
he will b addin 'DJ max' n 'audition' in too.
cool~ will b havin all the games tat i wan.

hp casin spoiled again,
wonder which idiot touched my fone.
freako~

darlin watchin movie wif wind n liang tml mornin
as for mi? nah.. cant make it. tuition.
aft all i've oreli watched the show,
jus wana accompany darlin watch. yup.

i hate patrons came shoutin n scold lots of vulgarities,
askin for their food docket.
Fucker. tink onli u guys noe hw to scold?
i oso noe one ok~!
it aint my prob even, bloody idiot,
i m oways the one entertainin all these.

suppose to work europa wif darlin n vic tml,
yes. the trio today for tml again.
but 'thx' to nadiah, i got thrown to floor.

wed meant to b my last day in GV.
but the consideration is still gg on.
Darlin: 'darlin don.. don go.. don wan.. reli don.. ..'
darlin's words melted my heart.
i find no reason to stay,
neither can i find ani reason to quit.

darlin watchin movie wif wind n liang tml mornin.
as for mi? nah.. cant make it. tuition.
aft all i've watched the show,
jus wana accompny darlin watch. yup.

today's daddy bdae.
'hapi bdae daddy~!'
mummy cumin nxt.
so is lin's one.

Jo said i've shrunk,
so did soo an.
haf i reli slimmed down?
nah.. is u guys had nt seen mi for too long.
or perhaps reli so?
GV too torturin.

i'm tired.
guess darlin waitin for mi in lala land oreli.
haas.. darlin did nt reply my msg.
k. on my way to find her soon.

Watched harry potter n the order of the phoenix.
Nice graphics. cool~
But hw cum i don understand the story at all?

Sori darlin..
i noe u're rather upset tat i've watched harry potter without u,
i'm sori.. hw bout.. i watch wif u again?
*sayang*

Cell grp was weird.
Combine cell held over riverwalk wif all strangers ard.
Everitin is weird.
The way bro preached, the guitar, the place..
Jus everitin.

Daddy came over to fetch me.
Initially wanted to long pang bro hm onli,
but kun n guoen hopped on in as well.
The car was super squeezy n heavy,
daddy had a hard time steppin on the pedal..

Learnin box dis cumin wk.
Oh God, let mi survive there plz.

I need download games for my psp,
anione willin to download for mi or send mi?

Mike connell is cumin!
Gosh~ thxfully i'm servin on tat wk itself..
NO! i cannot b there..
NOOOOOOOO!!!!~

Got scolded by a patron over docket tingy.
again.. yes.. not again..
'Thx' to Alpha.

Havin sore throat for days le.
But still can sing my way thru..
Singin is life,
Dancin is as thou the intakin of food,
mainly i nid all these to carry my life on.

I'm tired.
Havin insufficent slp.
somebody sing a lullaby for mi plz?
will some sheeps jump over the barricate for countin?
Argh.. i jus nid my bed,
my boster,
n my beluved xiao long.
zZz~

I've been usin too much chinese in GV,
its time to brush up on my english.
Argh.. where did my fluence n profound ang mo go?
mus find dem back before its too late.
English campaign frm nw on!

Lookin at my psp,
fone n mp4,
i den realised tat i cld hardly live without ani of dem.
wow..
PTL.. tats y i oways thx God for technology advances.

for u guys info,
i'm doin well.
stop lookin at mi wif coloured spects.
nth wif my spiritual life actuli,
but the cell n the ppl.

don tell mi wat to do,
mind ur own buzz..

daddy gg overseas soon.
he promised tat we shld haf a sumptuous meal before he leaves.
yes~ we ought to.
told daddy tat i will b passin him a list of wat i wan,
before i cld even write,
he responded tat he will throw my list inside one of the river in shanghai.
so 'nice' of him..

call off for the day.
tml is the start of a new day.
goto go for svc still.
dono wateva pst preachin,
it doesnt concern mi at all.

eyes r gettin heavier n heavier.
cant hold ani longer..
will b playin psp till i slp.
yes.. goto finish up all my stages no matter wat.
Nite~

Got my psp saved.. Praise God for it.

Release of harry potter was a torment for all of us..
Or shld I say for those who packed popcorn?
The group booking was indeed a killer..
Argh.. my hands.. numb~

Whats with the Nemo thing?
Hey u, u, and u,
Cut it out man..
Cant u guys b a little more mature?
Tease somemore I throw cheese at u all den u noe..

Darlin is sick.. n I’ll fallin sick soon as well..
Haas.. Darlin’s voice oways so swt..
Me: ‘Wat u tinkin sia Darlin.. u noe I onli luv u..’
Darlin: ‘Haas.. my luv for u oso veri e strong..’
Feel like luffin upon read it.. ..

Havin tuition ltr..
Haiz.. nw a days kids r reli hard to teach..
I cant get one tamed,
But she does her hw..
The other one I got it,
Yet cant get her to do hw..
Argh..

New trainee today.. nt again..
Mel suppose to teach,
N he was like ‘waa.. trainee.. u teach la..’
So ‘clever’ of him.. =.=”

Fri soo an join us in workin in GV..
Hw will it b like?
Haas.. nt sure.. his trainer I tink is jie ping ba..
Thx God..
ENJOY WORKIN SOO AN!

n i wonder whats with my com..
cannot sense the cable,
keyboard,
mouse, bla bla bla.
at times it took mi half an hr or so
before i cld log in to my msn..
blogger is damn slow..
cant even change font nor put pic..
sux..

reli cannot stand mummy nw a days..
one more min with her will damage all my nerval system
cuz she got onto my nerves!
everitin i do got nag by her..
daddy is nt ard at nite wen i came back frm work,
hence no one is there to tag team wif me..
argh..
i told the rest, 'my family mems r all transformers!'
Daddy - Optimus Prime (Protects)
Mummy - Megatron (Destroy)
Kor - Jazz (Dead)

kk.. got to go soon.. see if i haf the time,
go buy some game before i go for tuition..
time is runnin out.. AAAHHH!!

haiz.. had 2 newbie in candy bar doin closin wif us.. sianz.. minus 2.. thx God gracina came over to help volunteerily.. free labour is sumtin i will nv do for GV.

Nemo~ *luv luv* nw tat dey got it.. haas.. no teasin plz!

meetin Sim tml.. actuli he wana collect 20 bucks frm mi for modifyin my psp.. in the end.. haas.. he was like 'forget it la, do it for u free can.. ..'. woo.. but the onli tin is tat i goto meet him at sengkang! aww.. so far leh.. haiz.. worth it la.. i saved 60 bucks.. the cheapest modification cost at 60 buck.. aft modifyin, my psp can carry pirated games le! i can download as many
games as i like! wee!

ah ma reli kept her promised! i was amazed wen she asked mi if i wan to take the xiao long frm her.. i tot she had forgotten! but no.. she reli help mi kapo one n kip it in her drawer.. aww.. tats so nice of her can.. i luv ah ma!

went to 7-eleven jus nw.. tat guy so nice can.. see mi carrin long long, wif no hand yet tryin to press the slurpee, he asked mi to put long long in my bag.. i was like 'haas.. my bag is full'.. so he was like.. hw abt.. i help u press? haas.. rejected him.. i can do it myself still.. but ultimately.. thumb up for him! gd svc!

i'm super sick can.. tokin to ppl yet kept sneezin n sneezin.. thx God for the nxt few days i'm at floor.. if candy bar, i gues no one will buy pop corn frm mi, dis mucus gal liao.. hahaha~ so nice of perlie wana brin herbal tea for mi.. but nah.. i don like to drink such tins leh.. esther tends to act like a kid wen it cums to doctor, medicine n herbal tea.. i nid coaxin.. slowly n patiently.. lolx~ >.<

recently tooK alot of nice pic.. will load it up wen i haf the time to.. recorded a video too! of mi doin poppin n lockin! nt tat perfect thou but yet i nv get sick n tired of watchin it! ask mi for it wen u guys see mi! i'll show it to u~ kees!

nails r gettin longer n longer.. wasted leh.. din do manicure.. haas.. don do wasted my nails.. do liao wasted money.. lolx!~ hw ar.. hahaha~

cannot take it animore le.. i goto rest.. reli beri sick.. n i'm super tired.. argh~

at times i wonder if i'm bein paranoid or over-reactin..
perhaps i m, perhaps i'm not..
too much hurt for the heart to b broken once again..

u once hated mi, u once luved mi..
till these days, which is which..

read all ur entries even till the last..
quite alot referin to mi..
the goods, the bads..
so m i stil good?
or m i bad?

we've been so close before,
yet nw, u're far to the end of edge
tat i've lost my sight off u.

again i ask..
m i expectin too much?
or r u puttin in too little?
no ans still..

instead of blamin u,
i oways blame myself first..
not noein u well enuf,
not understandin ur tots,
not bein as luvin as u r..

rather den askin tons n tons of questions to myself,
i narrow everitin down into a simple stanza..
it all lies within the diff perspectives in us.. ..

U're still as swt,
as good,
as luvin,
as friendly..
simply nth changes..

wateva prob i see,
u don see the same..
nor even TRY to tink the same..
hw i wish u would,
but nv did u..

i'm tired of repeatin myself again n again,
over tins tat u find it aint impt..
if u don take heart,
y shld i..
lets both not take heart of anitin den..

wateva we haf, we'll lose it some day.
wateva we lose, nv bother to get it back eva again..

mayb u tot to urself,
'she's bein emo again..'
nah.. not at all.

no hard feelins like we used to quarrel in the past
peace took place dis time round.

perhaps till nw,
u're still nt lookin at the picture tat i'm lookin at..
or perhaps u finally do..
its all too late for the discovery..

but mind u..
bein late is beta den nv..

ponderin n ponderin,
y did ur name sank so deep into my heart..
if u weren't livin in it,
i wldnt felt the pain at all..

i'm cold, so cold.
does microwave helps?
i guess nt..

melt the hardened heart,
heat the cold feelins..

i nid sum help here..
somebody,
brin mi out of where i m nw..

距离 - JJ

'我走向前你看不见
真的遥远
就连叹息影子听见
也是无言
你走向前我看不见
你的思念
你和我之间
刻着一条界线不曾有改变'

Not serving, not gg svc, not workin, no nth.. jus had a day of relaxation..

the gd tin abt havin a car is tat u can drive aniwhere n anitime even wen u feel like eatin elsewhere besides the same old usual coffee shop under ur blk.. tats wat daddy n i did.. haha.. bein to luv daddy more n more.. he'w oways so 'IN' n on track wif mi, he seldom scold mi but understand wat teenagers like to enjoy at our age.. not like mummy.. onli noe hw to scold, onli noe hw to nag.. ytd like tat, today oso like tat.. i was jus bein nice to ask if her toothache was gettin ani beta wen she shoot out wif 'dono isit real concern or act concern..' wat the.. .. had enuf of her..

Went out wif ming wei, sandy n liang to watch 'My wife is a ganster'.. cool~ super nice show! haas.. had a gd time luff aloud wif dem.. lolx~ wen the father die, it was sad can.. aww.. sandy cried.. haas.. *sayang* aft which liang went ahead to work, as for the remainin 3 of us, we went to pacific coffee to sit down, tok n enjoy coffee.. toked alot.. abt anitin n everitin.. at times, we jus nid sum of such meetins to pull our relation closer.. luved sandy.. aww.. ming wei told mi tat she even tot of buyin the pink psp tat i yearned for mi.. so swt of her.. nah nah.. but its ok ya? since i oreli haf one, i shall jus do wif it..

visited cy over at her work place.. cant b oways her visitin mi rite? haas.. i mus visit her often too! kees~ her uniform looks sux.. haas.. tat she noes, as i told her before.. muhaha!

jus recorded a video of mi doin poppin n lockin.. cool~ haas.. i tink i've done a great job.. lolx~ erm.. i guess? haha.. not a professional dancer thou but at least it feels reli nice to dance freestyle k~

an empty heart is waitin for sumone to fill.. ani volunteers?

Hapi dae! haas.. servin today.. first time 'leaders' r nt ard us wen we serve.. lolx~ left wif si min, jia bin, winson n i over at side board.. i'm like gan jiong lor! but dey're all so relax! haas.. especially tat winson, shakin legs away.. but thx God, kelyvn was informed tat the side board had done well even thou he wasnt ard.. haas.. u guys noe y? haas.. but bro calvin wasnt even lookin at the side board.. lolx!!! >.<

waa.. dis mth so many ppl bdae.. bro ian, si hui, emily, jia bin, mummy, daddy, mei mei, yanglin, bla bla bla.. sure pok liao la.. lolx~

jus came back fellowshppin wif my team mates n celebrate jia bin n emily's bdae.. lolx~ i tink jia bin reli like the present.. but emily.. er.. haas.. dono.. reli sori.. i don reli noe hw to buy gals stuff~ haas.. ate at a thai restaurant in siglap instead of fish n co over at airport.. haiz.. bo bian.. all full hse.. haas.. the thai restaurant wasnt cheap either.. i tink over all ard 200 plus minus? kelvyn paid all.. woo.. thx boss! thou we're all not close, yet we tok wif no constrain n boundary set.. wat abt cg mems..? we're so close, yet we're all so closed up.. haas.. so near, yet so far..

thx to May, teasin mi n tat quek away.. haas.. but even if he were to b my bf, i don mind leh.. he's reli a nice guy.. quiet n mature.. he's onli a yr older den mi n he drives.. man.. i onli goto noe it today.. haha.. his family is wealthy yet not hao lian.. he older den mi, spiritual lvl beta den mi, in chorusboard longer den mi, n most imptly, he's taller den mi! so pei.. la la la~ lolx!~ *hit hit* 'wake up Esther!' ok lor.. ..~

gotten my 4GB memory stick for my psp today.. put all church songs in it.. left some WMA version which cannot b read.. haiz.. but its ok.. my mp4 all chinese songs, psp all english n church songs.. cool~ put all photos inside too.. ..

i wan the 2MP cam for psp.. sianz.. but i tink it cost a bomb.. anione wana volunteer to sponsor? or anione wana buy for mi for my nxt yr bdae? i can wait de.. haas..

listenin to 'Falling' nw..

'Falling at your feet,
as my whole world fades away.
Falling at your feet,
let my life be wholly thine
my life be wholly thine Jesus.

Emmauel Emmauel
Abba Father never let me go x2'

the melody din jus enter my ears, but it flows rite deep down my heart..

still rem durin one of the servin time, my team had done badly for tat particular day.. kelvyn din scold us.. he onli said 'guys, chorusboard has nth goto do wif skills, wif knowledge.. if we don do well, it doesnt mean tat u guys r nt gd, u guys did nt practice well or ani other tin.. but it means tat we're nt connected to God.. the connection is jus nt there.. can u guys jus pray abt it? get connected.. get in tune wif God..' i was like.. bam..~ revelation.. chorusboard is nt a skill n knoweldge? all along it seems tat way to mi.. 'Spirit of Excellence'.. tats out motto for chorusboard.. don serve in chorusboard wif ur own strength, b let by the holy spirit.. well.. in alot of cases, tats reli the way.. ..

everione is gg for mission.. kelvyn, ho yin, mei mei, alot n alot.. wen will my day cum? still a long long way.. worry nt.. such day will cum for sure..

all along i wish to say dis to u.. 'hw much does frenship cost? i don mind buyin it if u're willin to sell ur time to mi.. ..' to tok to u, the onli way is to buy ur time.. but nw no longer.. y waited till i'm cold before u cld react.. i haf no idea wat more i can say to u.. ..

kor cums back le.. he plucked the wire away.. but its ok.. i got it back again.. hw i wish he will NEVER b back.. ..

Had a sumptuous meal today.. thanks for the treat frm sandy! she even bought mi a special pen that reli looks like a ciggarate! haas.. she noes i like it yet cldnt bear to buy.. n there she is, gotten it for mi! thx.. tat pen reli cost a bomb.. so ex.. she gotten herself one too! but is the sushi-like one.. kees~ Was shoppin ard wif her aft the meal wen we came across the 'give a name' shop, the 'four leaves clover' caught our eyes! haas.. i bought the cross one, n bought one luv shape one for sandy.. kees.. tink she luvs it..

appreciates her alot.. reli.. she had been askin mi out for numerous times yet i cldnt able to fork out my time to meet her.. she din say much aft each n everi rejection, but jus kept askin n askin.. haas.. persistance wor.. she treat mi, i treat her, she buy tins for mi, i buy tins for her.. lolx.. i truely enjoy such feelins.. she makes mi feels tat i actuli do exist.. .. i shld b the one thxin u instead of u thxin mi.. thx sandy.. n 'thx' for drawin my cig box! =.="

i care for those tat worth mi to care for.. hack care those tat cant b bothered.. onli as such, i'm still able to let my tat little bit of compassion flows.. as least its beta den mi bein bo chap totally..

cg started late n thus ended late today.. well.. a super short sermon thou.. daddy n mummy came to fetch mi! erm.. jam jam jam.. traffic was in an utter mess.. there's an accident tat happen sumwhere near bro's hse, opp the NTUC n way up the traffic light, sumone was bein knocked down by a car - dead.. life is so fragile.. .. haiz.. hw i wish i cld b the one wif the white cloth on.. eternity wif no hurt, no worries n no pain.. get mi out of where i m nw.. i cant breathe ani more..

servin tml.. bought jia bin n emily's present.. first time chccb is tinkin out of the box for ppl's bdae gift.. n tat person is mi.. argh.. guess i reli haf none of my brain cells left..

perhaps today is the last day of mi bloggin le.. kor is cumin back tml.. sianz.. pray hard tat he don take the cable away again.. ..

sayin tat i'm ok.. it's all fake.. hapi outside, emo inside..

'我的心太乱, 要一些空白
你若是明白, 让我暂时的离开.. ..'

a song sang by zhou chuan xiong.. yup.. tats my tots..

Jus came back frm work.. not as tired as usual.. sianz.. suppose to b at floor but got thrown back to candy bar.. again.. nah.. not again.. .. 'thx' to adam.. tellin ah ma tat he aint feelin well.. den can i ask, is there a time tat he feel well wen he got assign to candy bar? *sianz* aft all today wasnt as bad as ytd.. a fine day to mi..

while i was doin closin half way, wei nan was like 'esther! ur gal fans!' haas.. mei yun, bell, anita dey all came to visit mi! aww.. so hapi to c dem especially bell n meiyun.. dey were standin outside the glass door, shoutin n jumpin like.. er.. crazeee? haas.. dey actuali asked mi out today.. haiz.. too bad i'm on scheduled.. givin it a miss den.. all got all xcited wen dey c mi too.. i luv such feelins.. the kind of yearnin n xcitement..

dropped my fone today while proceedin out of the MRT.. there goes my casin.. but thx God.. my fone was fine.. no scratches no nth.. sianz.. feel like buyin another casin for my fone.. $8 leh.. so ex.. no choice.. LG shine.. limited.. hence casin oso limited.. .. heart pain leh.. buy? buy not? argh..

meetin sandy tml.. finally i'm free for her aft so many times of her askin.. on her hse.. yes.. she asked mi to tink of where to eat.. all of a sudden i'm havin brain block.. i cant tink of ani place.. dis is not like the usual mi.. .. guess my brain cells r reli all dead.. tins r drivin mi crazy, drvin mi nuts.. i'm totally a hack care person even wen it cums to food nw.. .. wonderin where will we b gg tml.. aniwhere will b fine.. it doesnt matters to mi oso.. ..

don pity mi over my life.. admire mi for livin it..

Mummy n daddy buggin mi to haf bf.. sianz.. kip askin if i haf one nw.. den call mi find one soon.. bla bla bla.. argh~ *cover ears* don haf the time to, n don even feel like..

Will b at candy bar today.. but jie ping had made certain changes hence guess i'll b at floor 2day.. who cares..? sucky job no matter which station still sucky job de..

lolx.. funi.. nw a days mummy oways like to nag mi.. mi n daddy tag team n defeat mummy! wakaka!! each time mummy start naggin, mi n daddy will tok our own tins, den do sum action to show mummy tat she's beri fan! haha.. no hard feelin.. mummy oso luff actuli.. lolx.. ..

k la.. gtg go eat lunch n rush off for tuition le.. haiz.. everiday is a hectic day to mi..

Jus came back frm work.. a terrible day.. nth else but scoldin, scoldin n scoldin.. n the most funi tin is, all of those tins tat i was bein scolded for, was totally non of my buzz.. .. if dis were to happen in KFC or Carls Jr, i guess i will throw my visor or apron infront of the manger n jus walk off.. y m i so intimitated nw.. .. haiz.. i'm reli tired of workin in GV.. .. yet i luv all the frenz there.. bangala pay, bangala job.. its reli sux to the core, sux to the max.. ..

i hate last min changes toward cg tingy, church tingy.. bro oways says 'sum ppl choose those job tat requires dem to work long hrs, cannot come for cell or svc.. bla bla bla..' sarcastic.. its bcuz he work for church n is a church staff! try workin out in the world, i see if he can arrange his time FREELY for church n cell with those last min changes.. i hate to go for make up cell, bein surrended by a bunch of strangers, it feels awkward! i hate everitin tat is happenin nw!!! i hate my cell!! i hate everi of u!!!

don eva tell mi tat ani of u care, bull shit! a bunch of liars! everione mainly care abt themselves! who is willin to sacrifice for one another? NONE! those tat i tot were true frenz aint, those tat aint r actin to b one.. cut it out man~

i've turned so cold so cold.. all by u, u, u n u.. it jus shows a beta a pic tat ppl r so hypocrite..

my best quotaion nw.. 'why shld i'.. fellowship? y shld i.. to b luvin? y shld i.. to b willin? y shld i.. to gif an sacrificial amt? y shld i.. go for cg? y shld i.. a thousand n millions questions before i can get myself movin..

havin peace rite nw.. not replyin msges n pickin up calls.. u guys oways tend to find mi wif a motive.. cheap~ Jian~

Guys, reflect on hw much u've done for a frenz n hw deep haf u walk into their heart.. unanswerable questions.. start tinkin den..

Went to draw sum money in the late afternoon wen i realised tat there was an access of ard $100 in my acc! tryin to tink hard where does the money came frm but isolutely haf no idea aft killin most of my brain cells.. as i tot 'waa!!! wateva liang said was rite! there'll b one day tat someone mite tranf money to the wrong acc!!!'.. Jus wen such tot was flowin thru my mind, hoppin n jumpin wif joy back hm, i suddenly recall tat my team ic did tranf mi money for the bdae gift of 3 team mems.. =.=" haiz.. bai bai kai xin yi chang..~

i used to place frenz first den ani other tin else.. but nw, my parents cum first.. Jie ping msged mi jus nw, askin mi if i can make it for supper wif him n liang over at bugis for steamboat session.. sounds droolin, but.. nah.. each time i'm off or had an early dismissal frm work, i'll pick my mom up frm work without fail.. so.. yup.. rejected him but went ahead fetchin my mom!

workin europa tml wif rashidah n suriananananananananana... lolx~ tats wat mi n liang like to call her.. the 'na' non stop one.. sianz.. she's a newbie, guess popper sure i wash again liao.. erm.. actuli i don mind.. as long as she take the griller n steamer can le.. tml rashidah stock take.. argh.. tml sure short handed one.. tat suriananananananananana beta don play MIA again, if not i sure strungle her to death the nxt time i see her..

lolx.. share wif u guys a joke.. erm.. shh.. belt on ur seat belt ok? here it goes..
before work tat day, i went to toilet to do BIG buzz.. the lock for the door was abit loose, but nevertheless, it can still b locked, hence i din pay much attention to it.. was sittin comfortably down on the toilet bowl, takin out my fone to play wen the door open all of a sudden!!! mind u.. i wasnt even aware tat the door was opened as i was too focus on my fone.. wen i look up, waaa! so many ppl walkin here n there! my action was so fast tat i close the door n pull up my pants immediately! *blush* i was luffin all the way aft the incident happened.. ma jiam like the TV mobile 'GAFS' tat show.. jus for luff.. lolx~ thx God it was a ladies.. if it is a unisex washrm, i reli reli wun b cumin out of the toilet, rather stuck inside foreva..

Nan de today is my off day.. had a gd rest today, shakin legs n use com.. finishes tidyin my rm n wash my clothes.. done so many tins.. ahh~ off day is jus so nice..

n freak! i lost all my money for my 9 balls! stupid game! feel like throwin my psp!

Jus rearranged all my files in my com.. so messy can~ had a hard time arrangin dem.. finally i'm done.. haas.. too many songs le.. deleted all those pop songs can dey can b easily downloaded, but kept all the church songs.. those r antique.. collection items.. lolx~ its reli beri hard to obtain church songs n ani christian songs.. once deleted means gone foreva.. i beta tink twice before act.. haas..

lolx~ i've gotten all the new songs!
God is real
Falling
One life one love
Breakaway
I need You

haas.. weee! so hard to get can! i still din manage to get
A pure heart
Lord i'm hungry
Like the woman with the issue of blood
Jesus at your name we bow the knees

if ani of u haf it, plz send mi k? thx alot.. ..

my eyes closin le.. cant dong animore.. goto go slp le, if not tml haf no jing sheng to work..

Was supposed to b at floor wen i got thrown down to candy bar ytd.. at tat moment, i guess my face was jus as black as the chao tar popper.. .. haas.. closin wif yong xin (YES, AGAIN!), hajar, jane n of cuz our candy bar 'her majesty', aunty choo lan! hahaha~ tot we r early in finishin washin everitin wen aunty choo lan pop out wif 'hey, we still goto pack nachos hor!'.. *peng* lolx~ but i tink hajar fainted faster den i do? muhahaha!!! as usual, yong xing was suan'in mi non stop.. feel like pushin his face to the hot popper.. wakaka! *evil* hajar oways tends to haf the mo qi wif mi, so havin her ard, my job will b subtractin half.. jane ar.. hmm.. newbie in candy bar? but she's oreli quite gd.. seein her scrappin so hard for the popper for hrs, i volunteered to take over.. n i blif i seems angel- like to her at tat veri moment.. lolx~ my money was rite.. thx God it was.. haas.. each day countin money was a thrillin n fearin period for mi.. gan jiong sia.. nah.. God did not gif up a spirit of fear! haf faith tat i wun down money frm nw on.. *pray pray*

everione was askin wen m i leavin.. do dey wan mi to leave quickly? or dey cant bear tat i'm leavin? lolx.. i'm not sure either.. like the colleagues there, enjoyed the job, but dislike the pay n hates the system.. how? ratio of 2:2.. haas.. i'll den decide wen i move forth..

had a big big pimple on my face.. stupid yiyi still luff at mi.. argh! *roar!*

since ytd, the words 'let Go, let God' had been passin across my mind.. i did.. n perhaps tats the reason of mi feelin n turnin so 'cold'.. i simply let go of everitin.. wen all burdens r lighten, days got brighten.. i'm hapi over the unhapiness at least.. ..

all of a sudden i miss bein a kid.. nw tat i noe, growin up aint as 'wonderful' as wat i tot wen i'm a kid.. ..

its easy to attain, its tough to maintain.. ..

A kite that gotten its string broke,
flew so far, so far away,
till the beri min tat u lose sight of it.
Wat more can the person do, whom was flyin it..
She tried so hard to maintain,
tried so hard nt to let it go,
but ultimately,
it still flew away - sliently, quietly.

hw do we salvage such situation..? ani idea? nope.. no more strength n energy to tink.. tats y i chose not to react.. nth last foreva.. wateva u've got, it will eventually b gone.. n wateva tat is gone, nv bother to get it back.. .. it applies the same for EVERITIN.. again i say.. everitin.. ..

its ones tat turns another's heart cold.. ..

Combined cell ytd.. jus don enjoy bein in a place tat doesnt belong to mi.. .. or shld i say.. us.. .. the place is pretty nice.. its jus tat i feel uncomfortable.. especially wif 'unknown' ppl ard.. .. felt bein invaded.. ..

Got myself a new fone.. LG shine.. lolx~ super nice can.. shiny silver, mirror effect n its a slide up fone! the bad tin is tat it does not haf card slot.. onli built in memory.. haha.. but still ok la.. 512MB built in.. don reli nid tat much since i oreli haf mp3.. LG.. 'Life's Good'.. lolx!~ Quite a num of u were surprised tat i changesd my fone.. haiz.. i wish i can stop tokin abt it but.. .. tat nokia 6300 reli SUX!!! Camera 2MP, but ma jiam like VGA like tat.. den 1G memory, but oways says 'memory full'.. wen i wana tranf files into my hp, like 60% cannot go in lor.. summore frenz cannot send mi songs thru bluetooth either, written 'operation failed'.. so angry la! tot of usin tat fone till it spoiled before i change another one.. but reli buay tar han liao, faster get rid of it the happier i m.. *kiss kiss my LG shine* muhahaha~

Watch 'transformers' wif my colleagues.. yes.. again.. we're all movies freak! actuli not.. jus tryin to spend our com passes away.. haha.. wat a long show.. 2 n a half hrs.. nice in a way of the animations n effects, not nice as in.. .. erm.. its jus like 2 toy robot fightin, den press n button n got sound like tat lor.. haas.. weijing n ping called mi early in the mornin, askin mi along for movie aft svc 2day.. haha.. dey wana watch transformers! lolx~ nah nah.. count mi out.. don wana spent money to slp inside.. .. haha..

Tml is my spiritual bdae.. let mi sing a song for myself..
'hapi bdae to me,
hapi bdae to me,
hapi bdae to Esther.. ..~ *WOO!*
hapi bdae to me..'

lolx.. 3yrs in church past within a blinkin moment.. but at times, i do tink tat it seems a decades to mi.. how many more 3yrs will there b? haas.. the ans shall nv b reveal.. ..

JJ had a new song named 'Xi jie'? erm.. wasnt even aware of it till weijing told mi.. aft lookin frm album to album of his, i den realised tat i actuli don reli noe his songs.. .. haas.. so beta not boost abt mi bein a fan of his.. not reli a fan.. jus admire his talent.. .. yup..

i nid sneakers and pants.. haiz.. had everitin but lack of outfits.. shirts still beta.. cuz my resolution is tat everi mth i goto at least buy 1 shirt.. haha.. don see the money spent thus feel lesser of the heart ache.. but wen accumulated, i will haf abunance of shirts!!! wakakaka!!!

yea! mummy repair my air con! waa.. tell u, its horrible + terrible to slp in a room without air con.. man.. so hot! haas.. but nw the cool air is back! *hapi hapi*

goto preapre for svc ltr le.. i'm still in my slp wear nw.. lolx~ *chao!*