met dar up for movie ytd.
finally caught my 'resident evil'.
erm.
weird startin,
sucky end.

we had 'the last breath' too.
tat show was even lousier.
argh~
enjoyed non of the two.

coincidentally,
ze ju watchin the same show as us,
n funnier still,
he's jus nxt to mi.
lolx!

all of a sudden i'm so in luv wif the song 'i blieve i can fly'.
thx to my BNSS student.
haas.
Iffah, nice singin!

tins aint gg on as smooth sailin to mi nw.
but nt a prob at all.
bite my lips,
i can go thru all these without fear.

-life is lk an ulcer,
so pain,
but it will get well aft awhile.
-life is lk a stung frm mosquitoe,
unbearable itch,
but the swell will go off no matter wat.
-life is lk sun burnt,
it hurts,
but soon,
u'll retrieve ur original tone bck.
-life is lk kayakin,
capsized,
flip over ur kayak,
climb up,
u can oways paddle again.
-life is lk apseiling,
hw slow,
hw fast,
u determine it.
-most imptly,
life is lk climbin a rock wall..
der will b umpteen times tat u fall,
but wori nt..
der r belayers to support u,
u can oways try again.

all of these philosophies,
i learnt it thru my days in camp.
as long as der aint so much politics,
i guess i reli wld enjoy my job beri much.

instead of bein station master,
i'm doin DI tml.
argh.
don reli noe hw.
learn frm dwayne ba.
is lk the whole day i'm in water lor.
aft the dragonboat session,
i still goto b out the sea as safety kayak wen the student launch their raft.
frm morn till evenin,
soak myself in water.
sure tanned de lor.
wan dan liao la.

i took a long time to learn all the short forms in camp.
DI = dragonboat instructor
KI = kayak instructor
GI = grp instructor
EFI= external freelance instructor

i took even longer to master n rem the names for each diff station.
ahh.
lolx.
till nw i've yet to rem all.
*giggle*

k la. goto go pack my bag le.
set off again tonite.
*yawn~*

break camp!~ weee!!!
met darlin up for movie maraton.
woo~
both show sux..

bedok north students werent as bad as we tot.
dey were gd..
reli..
but the teachers r the sucky ones~
the entire camp was far too messy,
alot of tins went unplan
n hence it magnify the consequences.
haiz.
hated dos KIs, EFI..
forget it..
no means sayin.

oh ya.
i simply luv my grp.
class 3A.
nice campfire performance.
*clap clap*
i mean it.
i'm jus so proud of u guys.
guess u r the onli grp tat hd,
hv such a strong bondin btwn the instructors n the students.



another tin is tat,
i reli wan to thx my leaders for wrkin so hard in leadin the class,
get dem to wat i wanted dem to,
n of cuz,
care more on emotional ppl,
other den the physical type.

tml i'll b gg bck hm again.
yes..
not again..
but i hv no choice..

k.. i will blog again.
i'm super tired till eyes cld barely open.

bck frm camp.
had been wrkin bck to bck for teck whye sec,
bedok town sec,
nan hua high sch,
n bedok north sec cumin up nxt.
so hectic.
break camp in the mornin,
returnin bck to camp for mitin at nite
as bedok north will b cumin in tml.
argh~
tired~!

din wan to tk nan hua high initially.
but jay reli in lack of GIs,
hence no choice but to offer my help to her.
thxfully,
i was my best experience tkin dis sch.
i enjoyed it so much.
the students were reli GOOD.
no scoldins actuli required,
dey will automatically do wat dey suppose to.

my grp named 'PIZZA'
other den tat,
the other grps r bein named
poh piah,
prata,
pasta,
mee siam,
mee pok,
satay,
tosieh,
rojak.
lolx~
cute rite!

dis is the best sch i eva tken.
i jus luv my grp so much.
dey luv mi too.
as dey were leavin,
dey were kinda sad.
unlike dos bedok town ppl..
=.=||

dis is the best camp i eva done.
der r actuli more opportunities for mi to try out diff tins.
for bedok town,
i've learnt hw to handle dos problematic kids,
hw to save ppl wen dey capsize etc.
(cuz many kids capsizes) *roar*
for nan hua sec,
dey made mi learnt more.
the way dey brain storm,
their teamwrks,
initiatives,
the attentiveness dey gave was to my amaze.
dey were reli far too gd.

i was assigned as campfire IC n lunch IC.
erm.
as u guys noe,
i'm still a newbie compared to most of my colleagues.
dis kind of task given to mi was a kind of acknowledgement to mi.
the remarks were gd,
by teachers n by jay.

n oso,
i was bein asked to join full time.
the management ppl came tokin to mi.
usually dos full timers goto b beri xpreienced,
or dos tat had been in dis line long enuf to becum part of dem.
even so,
dey goto do elimination n CHOOSE wisely for dos full timers.
felt honoured.
yet it hasnt been in my tots for bein a full timer.
but still,
dey wan mi to gif it a serious tot.
i m..

alot of satisfaction cld b spotted for dis job.
i jus simply luv it.

k la.
goto go eat my lunch,
den nid to mit darlin le.

will blog again wen i break camp.

finally everitin is over.
sumwat settin the big rock in my heart aside.

gg bck to camp ltr.
yes.
goto adjust my mood rite for camp tml.

our campsite got so many cartoon character.
i got sun burnt,
wif the shades mark,
my kids name mi mickey mouse.

as for sam,
she oways din catch ani slp.
hence.
her will b tare panda.

erm.
gracina oways slp long long long hrs.
pig.
so..
yes.
piglet is she.

to yanqi,
don hv to b jealous of anitin.
gracina n i r jus frenz.
i slept in her rm,
but DIFF bed.
even so,
we seldom get to tok to one another durin our wrk.
don wori k~
rest assure,
dere's nth btwn us.

n to my dar dar,
gracina n i din slp tgr.
we din.
i onli hug pooh bear bear.
reli..
swear~
onli luv u ya?
*kis kis*

argh!
my nails chipped off!!!
my precious nails!! !! !!
AHHH!!! !!! !!!

i'm still tinkin..
whether to wrk bck to bck anot.
sam still short of ard 7 ppl i heard.
but..
wed is our day.
i cannot b occupied de.
hw.
don go den my 160 gone.
but dar dar means more den tat 160.
argh.
hw hw hw~

dono wats wif mi.
tend to flare up easily.
perhaps due to insufficent of slp ba.
oways got agitated over simple minor tins.
haix.

so hungry nw.
mitin gracina n fishcake for dinner.
man,
i'm gona eat lk siao.
haas.
sure late for mitin de.
but hu cares.
i'm oways the first few to reach.
hahaha~
dis time Sky is the campchief for bedok town sec camp.
erm.
feels weird.
lolx~

k la.
gtg go le.
leavin hse soon.
will blog again wen i break camp.

chao!~

y cant we go thru tins tgr
y mus i oways b outcasted
i jus wan to b dere for u
is tat so hard to b fulfill..

camp is still beta.
entertain kids,
a bz day kicks all my blues aside.

reli..
spore is a place doesnt worth stayin at all.
*frown*..

yea~
break camp ytd.
tats nt all.
went bck tdy to help out in belayin.
call the students to pull my harnest,
damn.
dey're lk pullin my pants can~
slidin dwn n dwn.
=.=||
forget it,
dere r far too much tins to touch on abt bein a belayer tdy.
argh~

met darlin the min i break camp.
so long din c her.
tat short while seems more den contented to mi.

i'm all packed.
will onli b available nxt mth.
so dos tat wana mit mi,
plz plz plz.
start mkin resevation nw.
haha~

i'm super tanned.
hmm..
lk chao tar chao ren.
kee kee~
but reli..
i look lk an indian nw.

did apseilin tdy.
tot it wld b scary,
but it aint.
i slide dwn fast enuf without fear.
i'm proud of myself.

'hmm eh goes a little green frog one day
hmm eh goes a little green frog~
hmm eh goes a little green frog one day
n dey all goes hmm eh waa..

n all the frogs go
eh sha la la la la
eh sha la la la la
eh sha la la la la

n all the frogs go
eh sha la la la la
eh sha la la la la
eh sha la la la la
n dey all go eh hmm waa'

haha! tats one of the camp songs we taught the kids.
n its my fav can~
the song so cute!
it cums wif action!
so fun!

i've learnt so much tins in camp.
dos strategy games,
dos team wrk,
dos songs,
nt onli tat,
but mani more tins which we can nv learn outside.
tat is call VALUES.

revelation for dis camp - humble urself dwn.

went to wrk event wif fishcake jus nw.
her frenz came too.
woo~
she's a butch,
but sooooooo 'handsome' man~
wu la la~

fishcake is reli nice.
we've been lk stickin tgr thruout our days in camp.
without her,
guess i'm b super sianz.
she helped mi out in alot of tins too.
jus so greatful to her.

tml if my off day.
1 n onli day.
aft which i tink i will chiong all the way for camp liao.
*shag*

k la.
i'll stop here.
my eyes closin real soon.

zZz..

hvn been bloggin for dis few days.
wun b bloggin for the nxt few wks too.
haas.
camp camp camp~

tml sendin grace n mike off.
wee~ finally i can mk it!
thx sam!
for u guys info,
i'm suppose to wrk tml.
b der at teck whye sec to load the kids up the bus all tat.
i noe its kind of impossible for mi to b xcuse wen tins r gg on,
but sam made an xception.
she allowed mi to go n claimed tat she will find replacement for mi.
she jus nid mi to b in camp before the kids arrived.
man!
i was so shock yet xcited!
thx so much sam!! thx!!

will b watchin resident evil at nite i guess.
haas. gg bck to camp tonite.
sure bored.
use gracina's lappy to watch online.
muhaha.
she leak out a webbie to mi.
waa.
can watch all the recent movies online can!
shhh~
bu neng shuo de mi mi~
wakaka!

i'm so slpy rite nw.
haas.
ytd sent darlin hm,
den took bus bck frm boonlay,
reached hm ard 2am.
yawn yawn~

oh ya..
bought a pair of keychain for both darlin n i.
man.
tat was ex.
din even tot of buyin it
but sandy kept pursuadin mi to buy for darlin.
haiz.
its reli nice thou.
yup.
bought it in the end.
*heartpain*

i'm x bein mean to darlin.
but she reli dono hw to ctrl her money ma.
so wateva she wana buy,
as long as i din tat it aint worth the money
or aint practical,
i wun allow her to buy.
'NO' is oways my ans.
i'm x niao..
jus bein thrifty can~
i tink i've said too many times of NO,
tats y sandy wans mi to buy sumtin for her.
haas..
buy wateva tat is necessary to buy,
i will still agree to let her buy de alrite~

waa..
all of a sudden rain.
my nike shoes outside!!!
phew~
grab it in / in time.
if nt tml go camp wif wet wet shoes.

erm.
gg bck to camp tonite.
yet i've nt finish packin my bag.
lolx~
kk.
nw gg to pack le.
mus counter chk in case miss out anitin.
*chao*~

jus reached hm.
ahh.
tired~

suppose to mit yingling tdy but cant get to her.
she finally called mi jus nw to tell mi tat her fone was low batt
hence cldnt get to mi.
as usual.
thrw away ur fone la!

goten my bagpack.
man~
tat cost mi a BOMB!
cant complain much as its 'deuter' brand.
bought my water sports boots too.
thou hittin a hundred bucks,
yet tats the cheapest i can get.
was contented as i get got quite alot of discounts by neg wif the boss.
haha~
proud of myself.
*smile wide*

met sandy up while waitin for liang to knock off.
went ard wif her.
first simei,
den novena,
n bck to lavander whr i originally at.
fetched liang.
sent sandy hm tgr.

liang gave mi his fone.
nokia 7390.
doesnt consider of a functional fone,
yet i appreciated so much of him hvin mi tat.
its a new fone to him actuli,
but he's willin to GIVE it to mi.
tats call buddies for life can~

gracina hears all my complains.
n onli she alone will tamed mi n cheer mi up.
she's oways der for mi wen i nided her.
gif mi the best advices n her precious pair of listenin ears.
she did more den wat i xpected.
thx so much.
u're the best~

i'm tryin to let go.
settin aside all the feelins n move on wif life.
cant hlp but the pain still lingers within.

cldnt reli slp last nite.
kept lookin at my fone.
tins reli doesnt oways appear the way we wanted it to b.
still,
it remains silence.

my nxt camp is drawin near.
it feels gd wen u noe sumone is der waitin for u to return.
it used to b.
but nw..
der aint animore.

did i made the wrong step wen i chose to enter dis line?
or did i made the wrong step by noein u..

the hurt tat u caused is jus far too unbearable.
is der a sort of vaccine tat can cease the pain in mi..?
i nid tat terribly n urgently.

i jus wan to b hapi for the left over days.
may i?
but y r u guys ruinin n destroyin it.

i'm jus an ordinary gal whom enjoyed eatin toberlone n drinkin bundung.
stop placin all ur feelins in mi.
i cant read u guys mind.
i dono wats the criteria u guys set for mi.
don xpect mi to hit u guys standard
wen none of u wan to open ur mouth to say anitin.

i jus wan bck dos days.
dos days of u clingin onto mi.
dos days wen we had supper.
dos days wen u slpin on my shoulder.
dos days wen we took lots n lots of fotos tgr.
dos days wen u call mi swtly.
dos days wen we made promises to one another.
dos days wen u hugged mi titely.
dos days.. ..
jus dos days.. ..

Purest of pain
I'm sorry I didn't mean to call you
But I coudn't fight it
I guess I was weak and couldn't even hide it
And so I surrended just to hear your voice
I know how many times I said I'm
gonna to live with out you
and maybe someone else is standing there beside you
But there is something baby that you need to know
That deep inside me i feel like Im dying
I have to see you it's all that I'm asking

Vida, give me back my fantasies,
The courage that I need to live
The air that I Breathe

Carino mio, my worlds become so empty
My day's are so cold and lonely,
and each night I taste
The purest of Pain

I wish I could tell you I'm feeling better every day
That it din't hurt me when you walked away
But to tell you the truth I can't find my way
And deep inside me I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you it's all that I'm asking


tats the song tat sings out everitin frm within mi.
tats our song..

i m a ball.
no i aint.
i m.
i aint.
was still tryin to deceive myself,
but..
guess i reli m.. ..
bein grabbed wen wanted,
bein thrwn wen feelin lk it..
ouch.
tat hurts pretty much.

u asked for mi nt to leave u alone.
i did as promised.
oways travel lk a farkin idiot wen u'r feelin low.
i did the same ytd.
but ended up bein scolded.
moreover u put it across as thou i deserve the scoldins.
i shldnt hv been der at the beri first place.
u sux to the core at tat moment to mi.
i simmered the anger in mi,
tone dwn n gave in despite bein reluctant.
givin u one whole nite to cool urself dwn.

msged u dis morn.
fark.
ur attitude threw rite at my face.
hurtful words frm u jus pierce thru deeper n deeper into my heart.
chances had been given again n again.
i'm all shagged to handle all dis each time wen it hpns.
'don b remorseful to noe hw much hurt u've caused to another party,
cuz i guess its even far too late to do ani compensation..'
tats wat i wrote.
i'm bein hurt so thoroughly whr nth cld eva amend.

tdy is wed.
our gatherin day.
u sounded so swtly wen u made me a promised
'no matter hw tired or bz i m,
wed is the day.
i will turn up no matter wat.
tats our day!'
so nice soundin rite..
but its utter rubbish to mi nw.
each time u thrw tantrum,
standard,
u will nt wan to turn up for the gatherin.

all our daily routines.
guess u had forgotten clean abt it.
i'm the onli one fulfillin it.
mi n mi alone.

u tends to say tat i break promises.
m i?
or r u the one..

u aint even apologetic wen i told u hw hurt i was.
thx man.
thx for all tat.
aft stickin tgr for 4 mths or so,
a bleedin heart is all i got in return.
i don even pinned for appreciation,
but bruise n wound mi no more plz.

u can tok to jp nicely.
yet flared up at mi.
i den realised tat i cldnt even hold a candle to jp in ur heart.

'bon voyage..'
haas.
ze ju n zac were upset of mi leavin.
even yx showed concern n asked abt it.
yet u..
chasin n pushin mi away.

ur words stink.
dey reli do.
u're jus a monster tat doesnt gif a tot of hw others will feel.

u've got my heart turned cold.
so cold tat it freezed.

as wat u requested for,
i'll leave u alone.
hvin u all the DAYS u nd to chill urself dwn instead of a day.
i'll sign off nw as an indication to the end of our book.

u lk to say 'i respect ur decision' don u?
nw i'm tellin u,
unless u r sober,
don eva come bck to mi.

==============================================================

nanny diaries was farkin damn borin.
thx for the recommandation of jp.
all of us almost dozed off.

suppose to b occupied tdy,
but sad to say,
i'm available.
nah.
ltr goto go kovan to collect certain stuff.
lazy.
but.
tat hlps in killin part of my time tdy.

meetin yingling tml.
mettin yanglin on sat.
haas.
scheduled got all packed.
ppl hu wans to meet mi,
i'm left wif fri n sun.
mk it quick!

returnin bck to camp the cumin wk.
i'm gg to b reli super duper packed frm the follwin wk onwards.
will onli b available till nxt mth.
din sound exaggerate,
but i m reli tat bz.
lolx~

hvn been meetin liang.
aww.
he too had been so bz.
everiday oso OT.
poor tin.
still rem durin holidays,
we used to hang out tgr everiday,
play n enjoyin ourselves but doin nth.
time did nt spare us.
haha.
we've all grown up.
each individual is bz wif his or her job n personal affair.
but its ok.
jus rem,
u're my buddy oways~

*breathe in*
*breathe out*

life still goes on with our without one particular person.
is we hu evolves ard the world,
not the other way round.

easy sayin it..
haas..
i tink i nd time to even get over all the tins tat hpned.

LG! life's gd!
tats lousy..
but tends to use tat to cheer myself up alittle.

k..
i'm fine i'm fine..
reli fine la..
i nd sum fresh air will do.

wen parents quarel,
tats wen the kids suffer.
my hse is hvin door slammin competition dis few days.
let mi introduce the 2 competitors.
Mr Leong n Mrs Leong!!~
n der aint a nd to on aircon,
cuz my place is hvin COLDwar~
guess tats cold enuf..
*burr~*

met up wif yx for pool session.
*giggle*
shhh~
i promised him nt to tell anione tat he kena trashed by mi.
hohoho~!
still say wana mk mi sit der long long while he shoot all the balls.
erm.
opp way i tink?
muhaha~
but he's nt tat lousy k.
perhaps by luck i won ba.

went drinkin wif him aft tat.
man.
erm.
i got alittle drunk den.
sober still.
but slpy.
ppl says liquor is the best tin to wash out sorrows.
i guess its the rite sayin.
at least it manage to numb mi for tat moment.
not to tink of anitin.
the feelins is gd.

jus so bu kai xin..

meetin sandy for movie ltr.
head still hurts,
still spinnin round n round.
argh.

gtg prepare nw le.
don wish to let her wait.

big news.
upon noein it,
i'm damn farkin shocked.
got hindered by it.
yes.
jus so bothered n affected.
its a threat to mi.
feels terrible.

jus wen gracina tok it over to mi,
i felt much beta.
i got totally recuperated wen she says
'my ears r oways here for u.
i let u slp in my slpin bag k?'
haas.
i went in camp without a slpin bag tat day,
n she's reluctant to share wif mi.
aww.
but its reli nice wen she uses tat to console mi.
best bud oways~

2 guys suddenly showed so much concern to mi.
dey're reli nice.
but.
hv feelin towards none.

i don feel lk cumin bck at all.
in camp,
i don hv to wori abt my expenses.
food is bein provided.
no nid to even travel here n der.
no woris inside,
all i goto face is a bunch of small little kids.
came bck the first time.
yet heard abt all these.
will it b beta if i stuck myself inside?
i tink i reli shld..

certain hatred lingers within.
to whom do i pin point?
the best is to kip mum.

if tat reli hpns,
i will choose to let u go..
tats nt a sacrifice,
is the onli way to reduce my pain.

got approved le.
yup.
wen will i b leavin?
don ask mi.
i dono.
pray wif all my heart tat it will b soon.
leave the place wif hurts n pain.

y m i bein hurt again n again.
once bitten twice shy.
i'm gettin more n more intimitated n fragile.
can i nt go thru all tat?
plz.. ..
i cant hold the pain ani longer.. ..

back frm camp.
super tired.

first time been to a camp wif a diff status.
no longer a student or a kid,
but an instructor.

the camp was fun.
but i'm jus all packed.
i don even hv time for a drink,
let alone personal free time.
well,
perhaps we do.
tats wen all the kids had fallen aslp,
n wen all the meetins n briefins ended.
by den will b ard midnite 12 plus 1.
our slpin time is our onli personal time i guess.

jap? spore?
lolx.
communication break dwn.
but nonetheless,
we as instructors tried our best in lettin dem understand wat we say,
n on the other hand,
we tried too in understandin dem.
vice versa ways.

there r alot of tins i've learnt.
reli alot.
n i blif as i roam my days thru as an instructor,
there'll b more to cum.
all these knowledges n revelations r jus so unforgetable.

i've overcumed certain fears too.
lizard,
heights,
etc etc.

wat ahmad said is rite.
bein an instrustor is nt to rara off wif the kids,
but the communication n control r the impt ones.
we're there to teach dem values,
mk dem learn,
tats our main objective.
nth else.

dis is e first job tat mks mi feel sumwat afresh.
if u're an outdoor type of person,
i seriously tink bein an outdoor camp instructor is the perfect choice.
begin to luv my job.
haas.
hope i reli do.

my eyes r lk shuttin soon.
but meetin darlin ltr watchin show.
she missed mi so much,
if i hapn to doze off,
its reli bad..
will try my best nt to slp.

zZz..
lolx.. ..

before i reli knck off for the moment,
here r sum photos for u guys..
enjoy~





views at the campsite.



tat was ar random. lolx~



first pic wif instructor uniform.



can u see our CRC area? all the high elements..



the idiotic guys.



the swt gals~ but.. erm.. whrs Noris??



nor.. her she is. =)



christabel!
thx for compromisin n chiong lk siao to the pole wen the timer is on!!! lolx!



stonin~



tats my grp! y m i not in? cuz.. i'm tkin the foto ma!!!



my fav boy, hiro.



my fav gal, nami.

dey both sooooo cute~ *pinch pinch*

haas..
k la..
got get myself prepared n headin out to meet darlin soon.

will blog again as soon as i can..
haiz..
cuz wkend is cumin.
tink u guys goten my meanin.
*sigh*~

gotten the job tat i desired.
outdoor camp instrustor.
free food n loungin.
the onli criterial n commitment is for mi to stay thruout the camp days.
not tat bad aft all.
'bookin' into camp tml.
will onli b bck on fri.
wun b seein u guys tat often le.
help mi tk gd care of darlin.
n of cuz,
tk gd care if urselves.

to update my movie listin,
these r the movies tat i've watched recently.
-joshua
-balls of fury
-underdog
-chuck n larry
-rogue assassine

tdy is children's day.
n i'm hvin tuition ltr.
totally hv no idea wat to buy for my students.
headache.

wanted to tell her face to face,
but no matter hw hard i tried,
words jus doesnt seems to flow frm my mouth.
all remain in my throat.
msged her instead aft we parted.
hw agitated she got.
her msg causes more pain den wat i originally oreli had.
it was nv my intention to hurt her.
nv..
i'm left wif no alternative..
trust mi..
i reli don.. ..

n fark off..
while i was typin all dis half way,
mummy was naggin n naggin n naggin,
n there she is,
switch off my com.
wat a farker she is.
no manners at all.

nth much more to say.
but all the pain n hurts overwhelmed mi.
sob~