bck frm cdans campsite.
its so near to whr she's stayin.
tot it doesnt bothers mi much,
i'm wrong..
it reli does matters..

the memories of her still lingers within.
till dis beri moment,
no one can actuli replace her in my heart.
again i say,
no one..

ppl ask mi if i do luv M,
mayb i do,
mayb i don.
for wat i noe,
we're oni frenz.
i find no luv in btwn,
not for the past,
not for nw,
neither will it hpn in the future.

as for K..
sumtin i'm sure of,
is tt we'll nv b tgr.
we're jus buddies,
brothers.

luv is so complex n sophisticated.
i'm surprised of hw amazin it can b.
to the xtend of lettin one jump in joy,
n lettin one tear in sorrows.

i don lk bein trapped in the pentagon relation.
worse still,
jus goto noe tt it's actuli hexigon instead of pentagon.
tins r gettin alittle out of hand.
i'm feelin kind of vex abt it too.
yet wif all these feelins arose,
i absolutly hv no idea in settlin issues as such.

had been seein cake cryin recently.
aft each n everi of the cryin session,
the guilt in mi emerged.
der's nowhr for mi hidin it.
felt aguished abt the entire situation,
but der again,
i'm reli sori abt it..
i reli am..

i'm feelin at worse.
yet i oways goto b the one consolin n comfortin everione ard mi.
can i b the soft one too for jus once?
can i afford to allow my tears to flow jus lk other does?
i wish i can..
i hope i cld..

all of a sudden i felt so empty.
felt so hollow.

i'm tinkin of u.
will u b bck into my arms again?
i jus wan bck dos moments tt we used to hv..

stop dreamin will u esther?
yes..
indeed i m..

sori for luvin u so deeply.
sori for nt forgettin u.
sori for plungin u to the far end of my heart.
sori for mkin u once mine.
sori for allowin memories to linger.
all in all,
i luv u too much.
too much to even save myself frm dis failure relationship tt we had.

i'm sori ppl.
goto xcuse myself for the moment.
i'm tired.
physically,
mentally,
and emotionally..
so tired.. ..~

b4 reli drop dead over at jess place,
my beluved ah neh (jenna) did sumtin for mi.
















haas..
aft much complain,
dis is wat she did for mi..
haas.
nt bad la.
beta den nth.
lolx~
>.<

jus finished the bdae camp.
haas.
everitin didnt went as planned,
yet i blif all of us had fun.
dey planned for a surprise dinner over at raffles city,
man,
i reli got a shock out of my life.
shock of joy i can say.
i luv everi single of my camelot gang.
dey're reli oways der for mi as n wen i nd dem.

dey got mi the bagpck tt i eyed on long ago,
1 new designed adidas booty
n the Mg necklace tt i wanted all along.
aww..
everitin reli cost a bomb.
yet dey emptied their pocket in buyin mi all tt..
guys,
i luv u all!~

thx to jo too.
brinin money for mi,
lendin mi her place to stay for the 3days 2nites camp.
*smoouch!*
sistas for life!

here n der i did flare durin the 3days 2nites camp,
no hard feelins,
but jus to let u guys noe,
i reli did flare up for gd n valid reasons.. ..
self relection n soul searchin moment plz..~
thx..

i hv nth in life,
xcept for all the gd frenz i've made.
i don deserve dem,
yet i've goton dem.
thx for dos tt r walkin past nw,
but still,
i oways blif tt ppl kam n go at all times.
felt uneasy,
yet learnin to accept such fact.

gettin alittle paranoid n emo dis few days.
accumulations of tins flashed pass my mind times n again.
piles n plies of stuff pourin dwn on mi lk nv b4,
but wif no idea in solvin it,
tt pissed mi off..
tt bothers mi.. ..

vision is gettin blurer n blurer.
lost track of even the tins tt i wan.
seems so lost for dis beri moment.
perhaps i reli do nd sum hlp..
but..
hu will..?

i'm tired..
so tired..
physically,
emotionally,
as well n mentally..

爱如潮水
不问你为何流眼泪
不在乎你心里还有谁
请让我给你安慰
不论结局是喜是悲
走过千山万水
在我心里你永远是那么美
既然爱了就不后悔
既然爱了就无怨无悔
再多的苦我也愿意背
我的爱如潮水将我向你推
紧紧跟随
爱如潮水她将你我包围
我再也不愿见你在深夜里买醉
不愿别的男人见识你的妩媚
你该知道这样会让我心碎
答应我你从此不在深夜里徘徊
不要轻易尝试放纵的滋味
你可知道这样会让我心碎

super in luv wif dis song..
jus.
feel so upset listenin to dis song..

haix..
k..
dono wat more to write le..
wun b touchin com as often.
so.
guys,
plz wait patiently for my update.
thx alot~

went out wif kee onn ytd.
watched 'the leap yrs'.
made phone bookin way before hand,
but we were late in collectin the tix,
hence we sat rather front.
its x abt whr we're sitin,
but its oways abt hu we're watchin wif,
n which show r we watchin.
aft all,
the show was reli a gd one.
gd story line,
gd content.
i tink the script will b even beta if it din touch on the future.

went to 'world of sports' aft the show.
jus roamin ard since ai ai says tt dey actuli in stocked.
indeed.
one of the AND1 windbrker caught my eye.
tried it on,
it doesnt reli fits mi well.
yet still,
i'm in deep deep luv wif it.
all along i've been wantin a windbrker,
n tts the reason y m i oways in fu jiun's one.
decided on buyin it,
wen kee onn actuli voicin out in payin.
he said he wld rather buy sumtin tt i lk den to buy sumtin tt i aint fancy.
true enuf,
he made a point.
he reli bought it,
as a post bdae gift to mi.
thx brother~!

met liang at geylang,
at our usual supper point aft parted frm kee onn.
ate dim sum.
saw sindy over der.
she grew much fatter compared to the day i first noe her!
opps~
but tts certainly the fact.
she commented tt i changed alot.
haas.
she's x the first,
n i blif tt neither will she b the last.
aft all lk wat i oways say,
ppl do change isnt it?
*smile*

mitin kat ltr.
almost forgotten tt ai ai is kamin bck tdy.
but..
totali hv no idea wat time will she b bck.
haas.
its ok.
the usual her,
she'll oways gif mi a call wen she pass the chkpoint.
i'll jus wait.

i'm super hungry nw!
a hungry woman is an angry woman!
argh!
gg dwn to buy food le.
will stop here.
*roar!*

yet to tok to my crazi mom since the day we quarrel.
she had been slammin tins real hard nw a days.
slam all she wans.
hack care.
i'm x daddy,
stop ventin anger on mi!!

came bck frm bike prac ytd.
the first prac mks mi bck off.
hvin no idea y,
but my hands r shiverin thruout the entire prac.
was luffin at swan n kat still
wen i actuli fell frm bike myself too.
it wasnt abt the fell tt caused mi to retreat,
but it was the word 'dangerous' tt made mi reacted lk dis.
the instructor was reli gd.
jus bcuz i'm slow,
he gave mi e xtra attention tt i nd n guide mi along personally.
had entire nite of nitemares.
all abt camps n bike prac.
cldnt reli slp well at all.

'the leap years' says
'its beta to luv n lost den nv to b luv at all',
but i tink otherwise..

addin on to my bdae wishlist,
i wanted a creative or ipod.
its a bad choice to place all the songs in fone.
each time my fone spoiled,
der goes all my songs..

trappin myself at hm dis few days mks mi feel even lonelier den before.
pictures jus kept flashin across.
cld held bck no more as the kind of anguishness flows out automatically.
its jus so hard to master the art of forgettin sumone tt used to mean alot to us.
i cldnt achieve it,
n i tink many r the same as i do.
it resembles e leech,
the more u tried to pull it out,
the higher the possibility of u bleedin.
yet leavin it der will cause the pain too.
dilemma isnt it?

bdae to mi is jus another normal day tt last for 24hrs.
no special meanin in it.
i din wan to b of ani special,
all i yearn n hope for was a gatherin wif all my camelot gang.
i miss each n everi of my mates.
don tk it as my bdae,
lets jus tk it as a celebration for Jesus,
cuz my bdae falls on gd friday coincidentally!

tml is my deary n ai ai's result day.
the release of A lvl result.
guess my ai ai aint even anxious abt it.
hw i noe?
cuz she's still in msia nw.
lolx~
but deary is kind of wori i can say.
haas.
all he best peeps!

tdy is gg to b super bored day.
cant blif tt i'm stuckin myself at hm frm mornin till nite.
wanted to mit sumone yet everione doesnt seems to b free.
tts sux..

BORIN!!!

went out wif ai ai ytd.
haas.
met her aft her piano lesson.
went to shop n walk ard parkway.
ate pasta mania.
den headed to pool spot to mit wind n kat.
played 1 round wif ai ai,
but the pain at my bck is far too much for endurance.
sent her off to tk cab as she has got tuition to follow up wif,
kis kis,
n off she went.

took sum fotos b4 she went off.





























































fetch her over at the tuition place,
took a bus dwn to her place n accompanyed her pck her bag for tdy's camp.
she's such a lousy packer.
haas.
wind goto squeeze everitin in for her before she's satisfied wif the packin.
walked to MRT,
aboarded.
dey're headin bck to camelot,
whr'as for mi,
i'm headin bck hm.

saw zi yuan wen i alighted.
haas.
he look so diff nw.
hair damn long majiam lk dos boy band ppl.
guage frm the way he tok,
guess he din change much in his character.
*smile*

ai ai left for msia again.
she msg mi dis mornin wen she's at the 2nd link.
haiz.
got so used to her absence.
yet yearnin so much for her presence.
will b mitin her on the 7th.
jus for a day n she'll b leavin again.
sad~

gg for practical ltr.
sianz.
i'm gg alone.
kat n swan din manage to bk online.
its ok la.
thruout the entire course,
i blif tt we'll b separated as well.
jus a matter of time.

kat is kamin to my place.
she nd to charge her psp.
n whr's my psp?
haas.
wif ai ai in msia.
bet she's playin wif it nw.

had been browsin thru all my basic theory n bike rider handbk.
haiz.
so many words.
read till siao liao..
bo bian.
i wana pass!!!
dis is my 1 n oni dream.
kawasaki rider,
here i kam!!!

to ask mi again if i do luv u,
no i don.
to ask mi again if u do weight much,
no u aint.
to ask mi again if u mean sumtin to mi,
i cant deny,
u indeed do.
but der again,
r u relatated to mi?
no.
u're jus a nobody.
memories do linger,
tts all i cld say.

ouch..
my bck reli hurts.
sumbody,
save mi plz~
>.<

quarrelled wif mummy.
went bck to slp till late evenin den.
woke up,
packed my stuff n i left for mitin kee onn.
wats gd abt wrkin in camp is tt
i don hv to account whr i go,
jus a bagpack,
i can go aniwhr n everiwhr.

went bck to camp.
visited jenna n jess.
missed dem so much.
stayed on awhile,
aft which headed to ai ai'se hse.
spent my nite over at her place.
got bom bak by her mom early in the mornin.
tot i wld hv peace the min i leave hm,
hu noes,
der's still her mom..
*faint*

the funniest tin is,
i tot she will react lk i do,
by kipin quiet wen the mon nags.
she doesnt.
she went 'y r u mkin so much noise early in the mornin! can u SHUT ur mouth UP!'
i'm lk 'waa..'
hahaha!

went to see doc wif ai ai.
the waitin time was damn long la!
shopped ard wif her aft seein doc.
waa..
she's reli a madness shoppin freak.
had been walkin ard wif her,
n the most faintin moment was dos tins tt she choose,
cost a BOMB.
scary~
















haas.
ai ai wearin my spects n i'm wearin hers!
cute sia~

we still hv quite a num of fotos tken tdy.
of us climbin rockwall.
but its wif her.
haas.
i will tk frm her soon n show u guys!

my bdae is kamin.
hmm.
ppl had been askin wat i wan.
guess dis is the 1st yr tt i reli wanted alot of stuff.
liang had been askin mi everitime n my usual ans is
'i don nd anitin'.
but nw i reli do.
here's my wishlist for my bdae:
-bagback
-salomon shoes
-adidas watch (black-purple)
-SE k850i
-wind breaker
-deuter toiletries bag
-water proof bag (no TYR plz)
-adidas slippers
-digital cam

i understand tt none of these stuff r cheap.
but..
tts oni a wishlist!
doesnt reli hv 2 b fulfilled.

had been trapped in dis situation.
A lks B,
B lks C,
n C lks D.
alittle complications here n der,
yet i wan to remain as wat we were in the past.
i appreciate hvin everibody as my brothes n buddies!

intend to wrk in 'camper's corner'
haas.
a shop tt sells all camp stuff.
pay shld b high,
cuz all deir stuff damn ex.
Adi asked mi to gif it a try since dey're hirin ppl nw.
yup.
i m.
haas.
wait for my news guys!

while i was bloggin,
tv was showin spop,
cai chun jia is singin nw..
waa..
her voice reli damn nice la.
crystal clear~
jus wonder y aint she famous.

woo..
had alot of pendin comments in my frenster.
haas.
my frenster is gettin overwhelm..

k la.
i shall stop here.
will blog as n wen i feel lk it.

woo~
it feels so gd bein bck hm.
had a major accident ytd.
my leg got sandwiched by 2 dragonboats wen i was preventin it frm colidin.
had a few cuts n its swellin up nw.
it reli hurts..

don ask mi y did i quit my job as an instructor,
i'm x sure of the ans even.
i enjoyed interactin wif kids,
yet der r tins tt i jus cldnt stand in the company n wif the ppl.
to ask mi if dis job is my passion,
perhaps yes,
perhaps no.
nth mks mi stay,
nth forces mi to leave either.

entertainin kids became part of my life,
i luv to see students smile,
i jus lk the feelin wen dey're attentive n responsive to mi.

yea~
finally ai ai is bck frm msia!
will b mitin her ltr.
but..
she's leavin again tml.
sigh~
i miss her loads!

i dono wats wif TK.
she had been eyein on ai ai,
eyein on ruth,
eyein on bell etc etc..
i've been hearin far too many tins abt her.
don reli noe hw to react but to act ignorance.
as long as she don touch my ai ai,
hueva tt she wans to hv affair wif,
i don reli care.

had a break thru recently.
broke the ice btwn marvin n i.
we had been tokin alot,
he taught mi alot of stuff.
guess dis is the best farewell present i hv.

mummy cried jus nw.
tokin abt the past.
'thx' to daddy.
ppl envy over mi,
over my family,
but tins aint as shown.
der r times tt i reli don feel lk bein ard,
wen tins arosed,
i'm too lost to say anitin,
or to do to anitin..

tok to her on msn jus nw.
the kind of feelin aint der animore.
thx to her tt i've moved on.
thx to her tt i had a beta view of tin.
thx to her tt i've learnt alot of human philosophies.
n thx to her,
i had a cold n harden heart.
but i'm still gd.
aint abusin myself.
i luv the way i m nw.
sumone said dis to mi,
'wen ur life is empty,
it jus shows tt u r given a chance to place new tins in it.'
so revelational.
dis sentense created such a great impact on mi.

will b restin at hm for ard a wk b4 i head bck for sentry duty.
so i guess will b bloggin more often nw a days ba.

k la.
rushin off to mit ai ai le.
n i'm super late!
*chao!*