wasnt feelin beri well,
guess i'm gettin sick soon.

taiwan was fun.
besides the fruitful conference i've attended,
the shoppin n eatin trip mks mi feel lk gg bck der again.
suppose to post sum pictures,
but too lazi to load it up.

dono wat's wrong with both dadi n mumi lately.
givin the face n thrwin attitude.
i don even hv ani idea wat dey're angry with.

i'm tired.
came to office earli jus bcuz bei's programme is at 8am.
i shld tk a nap b4 my actual wrkin hr starts.

tins had been gg on well.
i wrk xtremely hard to catch up wif the pace here.
tough job i can say.

finali peizhi is bck,
but she had gone for a course for the entire wk,
still,
i'm all by myself.

i'm leavin for taiwan dis fri.
gg over for an asia conference wif jacky,
jay n alan.
alicia says it's a gd opportunity for mi,
i tink so too.
but y didnt i feel the xcitement?

jan is kamin,
lookin at the 2009 schedule,
camelot is all packed wif camps.
my manpower gona b one big n major issue again.
my resolution..
'eliminatin dos tt r lazin ard,
n makin the ratio rite..'
i've done the second but not the first,
der r times whereby i still nid to use sucky ppl to wrk for me.
do i left wif ani choice?
ani other alternative?
don tink so..
manpower is jus lk money,
it's NEVER enuf..

7mth anni had past,
it seems lk a casual day for us.
nth much in particular,
nth special,
jus nth.
nth significant hpned.
thou tt's the case,
everiday wif bei jus seems so fruitful.

met neh, jess n chloe up last sun.
it feels so gd to gather up wif cliques to spend time tgr.
even for jus while,
it means alot.
















so many prog gg on for the nxt few days.
i cldnt even breathe.
i nv once blif in findin no manpower,
as long as i'm not willin to gif up in findin,
for sure i'm gona get ppl to fill up the slots.
slowly,
but surely.

i miss bei badly.
5days off to taiwan gona seems decades to mi
especially wen bei is not by my side.
*miss miss*

Life on earth is so plain.
i can tink of no more idea to spice my life up.
borin days i've past.
borin days to kam..

feel so much lk screamin my lungs out wrkin wif sucky ppl.
wen ppl don realised tt dey're the ones mkin mistake,
in the end i got arrowed,
all blame goes to mi.
fuck man.

i hate the feelin of bein speechless wen i'm sure it's not my fault,
n i was reprimanded.
it's jus lousy.
LOUSY!

i'm a coordinator,
COORDINATING is my job.
n ppl r choosin their own trainers,
if tt's the case,
y needed mi here?

all of a sudden,
i missed peizhi.
she had oways been protectin mi,
coverin tins up for mi weneva i made mistakes,
standin up for mi wen i nided her,
but nw..
she aint ard.
so lost without her.
so lost.. ..

i missed bein GI.
as i was standin on the balcony watchin campfire ytd,
i den realised hw adorable students actuali are.
i luv seein dem wrkin tgr,
comin up wif cheers n performances.
tokin to dem is so much more relaxin compared to my wrk nw.

so mani events kamin up.
but surprisingly,
my pace had slowed dwn.
i don gif a damn animore.
ppl jus aint satisfied wif wateva i do.

my mind got blocked.
totali blocked.
i'm losin my tinkin ability..

i was wrong to tink tt bein a coordinator is a simple task.
coordination alone wasnt jus my job,
i did more den wat i'm suppose to,
i did more den wat was bein told originally.
i was lectured for not askin wen i'm unsure of certain tin,
der again,
i got scolded for askin too.
der r jus too much tin tt i'm unaware of,
yet i was simply threw with all the load.
wed onwards i'm gona b all alone.
n i reli mean ALONE.
no one cld help mi wif wat i'm doin,
but tts not the worse issue,
the worse is..
i'm lost of wat to do even..
wen i cldnt even help myself,
hu will..

files after files of quotations r kamin in,
camps aft camps were run in the centre,
tins look so easy on the outside,
yet ppl whom r the bck stage support r the toughest.
the silence suffer.

no one tink tt i wld stay long i guess,
i hope to prove dem wrong,
but i cant pull myself to.
i'm gettin alittle weary.

everione here seems to bully mi.
everione here seems wantin to gobble mi up.
i'm the best arrowed person.
on the surface,
everione tryin to b so nice,
yet wen dey needless of ur help,
dey simply turn their bck at u.

oni 2weeks yet i cld stand it no more,
hw long more can i substain still..

bei,
ur expression tells everitin.
i don wish to brin wrk hm,
i don wish to msg n msg n msg wen i'm wif u,
i don wish to attend to calls everi min n sec,
yet plz understand tt its my job,
i hv no choice at all.
i hope u'll b more supportive n understandin den wat u r nw,
cuz i do nid compromisation frm u.

i find no motivation to move on at all in dis line..
y m i still here den..

why.. ..